


To Dance

by dylemma91



Category: The Owl House (Cartoon)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Ballet, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Amity has some internalized homophobia in the beginning, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bisexual Disaster Luz Noceda, Eventual Romance, F/F, Fluff, Mutual Pining, No Smut, Odalia Blight is a Dance Mom, Pining, Rivals to Friends to Lovers, Rivals to Lovers, Slow Burn, Useless Lesbian Amity Blight, and they were ROOMMATES, background Vinira and Jerdric, omg they were roommates, some mild swearing, they are 17/18 in this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-27
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:02:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 74,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27728497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dylemma91/pseuds/dylemma91
Summary: When Luz Noceda successfully auditions for the prestigious Hexside Ballet Academy, it’s a dream come true. She can’t wait to begin her final year of training, before hopefully getting a job with a major ballet company.Then, she meets her roommate. Amity Blight is the best dancer at the school, and has a reputation for being cold and aloof to, well, pretty much everyone. But as Luz gets to know her better, she discovers that there is more to Amity than most people think.A Lumity ballet school AU.
Relationships: Amity Blight/Luz Noceda
Comments: 490
Kudos: 674





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! Welcome to my latest project. Before we get started, a small disclaimer: I am an adult ballet dancer, so I have experience in the ballet world, but I have never trained at the pre-professional level. I've done some research (and am loosely basing the school off of SAB in New York City) but will almost certainly get things wrong from time to time.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy! I'm aiming to update this once a week, but that may not always be possible.

_Hexside Ballet Academy_

Luz stared up at the gold-lettered sign, which was affixed to the side of one of the largest, most imposing buildings she’d ever seen. 

_It’s huge._

Her stomach fluttered nervously as she observed the sheer size and scale of the place. 

_I can’t believe I’m actually here._

Hexside was the most prestigious ballet school in the country, and Luz had dreamed of attending it for years. When she’d finally auditioned, along with countless other 17 year olds around the country, for a spot in the Advanced division last month, she’d known that the chances of her getting in were slim to none. Sure, her ballet teacher Eda claimed that Luz was the best student she’d ever trained, but she was painfully aware that she would be competing against hundreds of people for only a handful of spots. 

When, the day after her audition, she’d received an email saying she’d been accepted, Luz had nearly fallen off her chair in shock. Her shriek of surprise and delight had been loud enough that her mother had come running in, thinking she’d hurt herself.

Once Luz had recovered enough to tell her the good news, Camila had been thrilled, as had Eda when Luz told her. 

Luz knew that Eda didn’t think much of fancy ballet schools like Hexside, but her teacher had supported her decision one hundred percent. Both Eda and her mother knew that Luz dreamed of becoming a dancer with the National Ballet Company, and for her to have any chance of doing so, she needed to attend Hexside. The school fed straight into the company - they were even located in the same set of buildings! 

So Luz had accepted the offer straight away, although she had worried about leaving her mom all alone. But Eda had become a family friend over the years, and she’d promised Luz that she would keep Camila company.

Luz was going to miss them both so much.

_Focus! You need to find Reception._

Gathering her courage, she approached the large front doors, dragging her suitcase behind her. 

_This is it,_ she said to herself as she entered the building. _No turning back now._

Thankfully, Reception was well-signposted, and Luz managed to find it without any problems. She approached the front desk, smiling brightly at the somewhat bored-looking woman seated behind it.

“Hi!” she said. “I need to, um, check in? I’m a new student. Luz Noceda.”

“Hello Luz,” the receptionist greeted her, typing something (presumably Luz’s name) into her computer. “Welcome to Hexside. You’re in room 505. Here’s your key and orientation pack,” she added, sliding a key and folder across the desk.

“Thanks!” Luz said, gathering up her things. “Uh, how do I get to my room from here?”

“The lifts are that way,” the woman replied, pointing off to her left.

Luz gave her a thumbs up in return, before heading in the direction she’d indicated.

However, it quickly became apparent that more than just a vague gesture to the left was needed in order to navigate this building. Luz was pretty sure she’d gone too far when she suddenly found herself outside one of the ground floor dance studios.

She couldn’t resist peeking in. The space was huge - far larger than Eda’s small studio back home. It was all white walls and spotless mirrors and sprung wood floors - the exact image one would conjure if asked to picture a ballet studio. Luz couldn’t wait to get in there.

 _Grand allegro will be a dream with all that room! No need to worry about crashing into the opposite wall,_ Luz thought wryly, reflecting on the few times that had happened back home.

Then she noticed that the studio wasn’t empty. There was a girl packing up her things in the corner, clearly having just finished a solo practice session. As she made her way to the door, she spotted Luz.

“Hi. Are you a new student?” the girl asked. She was cute, with a round face, shiny black hair, and a friendly smile.

Luz returned her smile. “Yeah, how could you tell?”

“You look lost. Plus, the suitcase is a dead giveaway.” she said, her gaze shifting to the suitcase Luz still dragged behind her.

Luz laughed sheepishly. “Got me there. I’m Luz,” she said, offering her hand.

The girl took it. “Willow.”

“Nice to meet you Willow. And you’re not wrong - I am a little lost,” Luz admitted. “I was trying to find the elevators but I think I took a wrong turn somewhere.”

Willow laughed, not unkindly. “A few wrong turns, I think. But I’m heading there now, so I can show you. Come with me, Luz.”

“Thanks,” Luz said, relieved. She followed Willow back down the hall. 

“How long have you been at Hexside?” she asked as they walked.

“This is my fourth and final year,” Willow said.

“So you’re in the Advanced division?” Luz said eagerly. “Me too!”

Willow smiled. “Cool, we’ll be in the same classes then. Are you seventeen as well?”

“Sure am!”

“Most advanced students are, although there are a couple of younger ones. Oh, here we are,” Willow said, as they arrived at the lifts. “Hey, what’s your room number?”

Luz checked the paperwork she’d been given. “Uh, five-oh-five.” 

“Cool, that’s level five,” Willow said, pressing the button. “I’m on level six. I have to go get cleaned up, and you probably want to do some unpacking, but would you want to meet up later?” she asked, as the elevator started to move.

Luz brightened immediately. “I’d love to,” she said. 

“Great, I’m in room 610. Want to meet me there in an hour? You can meet my friend Gus, too.”

“Sounds great,” said Luz, as the elevator stopped at her floor. “Bye Willow! See you later.”

When the elevator doors closed behind her, Luz excitedly pumped her fist in the air. She’d been here for less than an hour and she’d already made a friend.

_Definitely unexpected, given my track record. Mom will be so impressed when I tell her!_

Luz headed down the hall and quickly located room 505. Unlocking the door, she stepped inside to reveal a pretty typical dorm room. Two single beds, on opposite walls. Two desks, two wardrobes. It looked just like the picture on the website, only smaller.

She dragged her suitcase inside. One of the beds looked like it had already been claimed, so she flopped down on the other one. Idly, she wondered where her roommate was. 

_So this is home for the next year, I guess,_ Luz thought, looking around the small room. It was comforting in its simplicity - nowhere near as fancy as the building it was located in. It reminded her a little of her room at home, although it was much more plain. _Maybe I can put some posters up on the walls, if my roommate doesn’t mind._

Thinking of home reminded Luz that she hadn’t texted her mother yet. Fishing her phone out of her handbag, she composed a quick message.

**Hey mama! Just letting you know I made it to Hexside safe and sound. Plus, I even made a friend!**

Her mom’s reply came in a few minutes later.

**That’s wonderful mija! You’re going to have an amazing time. Love you xoxo**

Luz smiled and typed a response.

**Missing you already!**

That finished, Luz went about the next order of business: connecting to the wifi. She knew she should probably start unpacking, but browsing the Internet was far more tempting. 

Luz had begun a new Good Witch Azura fanfiction on the train, but she’d only made it about halfway through before reaching her destination. She opened it up again, and quickly became engrossed in the story. So engrossed, in fact, that she didn’t notice when the door opened.

“Oh. Hello,” said a voice from the doorway.

Startled, Luz glanced up at the newcomer, who was presumably her roommate. Her first impression of the girl standing in the doorway was that she wouldn’t look out of place at a fancy private school, or an Ivy League college for that matter.She had pale skin and rich chestnut-brown hair, which she wore tied up in a sleek high ponytail. Her clothing - a close-fitting pink sweater paired with a knee-length black A-line skirt and matching ballet flats - was well tailored and expensive-looking. She was pretty, in a serious, studious kind of way.

Suddenly Luz was painfully aware of her own outfit - ripped jeans and an oversized, faded sweatshirt with the words _Bad Girl Ballet_ screen printed on it. The sweatshirt had been a gift from Eda, and Luz treasured it. But in the presence of her preppy roommate, she suddenly felt very underdressed.

“Hi!” Luz said brightly, trying to shake off her feelings of self-consciousness. “We must be roommates. I’m Luz.” 

Standing up, she offered her hand to the girl, who, after a moment of hesitation, took it. Her handshake was firm, Luz noticed.

“Amity.”

“Nice to meet you, Amity,” Luz said, offering up her friendliest smile. Up close, she could see that the girl - Amity’s - eyes were an interesting shade of golden amber. The color was unusual and striking, yet strangely... familiar. Luz had the sense she’d seen it before, although she couldn’t recall where.

“You too,” Amity said quietly, before turning to put her bag down on her desk. 

“How long have you been a student here?” Luz asked. It was obvious that Amity wasn’t new - she was much too calm and collected for that. Unlike Luz, who has been practically vibrating with nervous energy all day.

“Pretty much forever,” Amity answered vaguely, rifling through her wardrobe. Luz caught a glimpse of countless leotards - most in the plain black that the school required them to wear in class, but some colorful ones as well. There were probably more leotards in there than Luz had owned in all of her twelve years of dancing.

She watched in silence as her new roommate extracted a pair of yoga pants and a sleeveless workout top from the bulging wardrobe, waiting for Amity to ask her about her own situation.

When the question didn’t come, Luz forged ahead anyway. “I’m new,” she said. “I just arrived from Bonesborough.”

“I figured you were,” Amity replied as she folded her workout gear, neatly placing it in her dance bag. “I haven’t seen you around before.” Zipping up the bag and placing the strap over her shoulder, she headed for the door. “See you later,” she said, as the door shut behind her.

And just like that, she was gone.

“Bye,” Luz said to the empty room.

She shook her head in confusion. That might have been the shortest interaction she’d ever had with anyone.

 _Well, she clearly had somewhere to be,_ she reassured herself. _I’m sure she’ll be more interested in getting to know me later on, when she’s not in a hurry._

***

_What room did she say she was in? 610, I think._

Luz knocked on the door of room 610, hoping against hope that she’d remembered Willow’s room number correctly. 

The teenage boy who answered the door was decidedly not Willow, however.

“Oh, sorry to bother you,” Luz said quickly, feeling embarrassed. “I was looking for Willow’s room and I think I must have got the number wrong…”

“No, you’re in the right place,” said the boy, with a smile just as friendly as Willow’s had been. “I’m Gus. Come in!”

“Hey, Luz!” she heard Willow call from inside.

 _That’s right, Willow mentioned she had a friend named Gus,_ Luz belatedly recalled as she followed the boy in question through the doorway.

Willow’s dorm room was nearly identical to her own, with the same furniture and layout. Willow was sitting cross-legged on one of the beds, sewing ribbons onto a pointe shoe. 

“Take a seat,” she said to Luz, motioning to the space beside her. Gus sat down at one of the desks.

“Hi Willow,” Luz greeted her new friend. “Nice to meet you, Gus. Are you Willow’s roommate?”

She’d assumed that the school wouldn’t allow boys and girls to live together, but maybe she was wrong.

“Nice to meet you too, Luz,” Gus said with a smile. “And no, I’m not. I just hang out here a lot.”

“Gus and I are good friends,” Willow explained. “We came from the same ballet school back home. But really, he’s just using me to escape his roommate,” she added, with a teasing smile.

Gus laughed. “She’s not wrong. My roommate Matt is the _worst,_ and I get stuck with him every year.” 

Willow made a sympathetic noise.

“What’s so bad about him?” Luz asked curiously.

Gus rolled his eyes. “Don’t get me started. He’s just incredibly annoying and constantly trying to prove that he’s the best at everything. Not just ballet - _everything._ Like, if I mention that I did well on a test, he has to prove that his score was higher. And if it wasn’t, he’ll have some excuse for why. Plus, he won’t leave me alone - anytime I’m in the room he’s constantly bragging and trying to one-up me.”

Luz made a face. “That does sound annoying. I hope my roommate isn’t that bad. Based on the one interaction we’ve had, it kind of seems like I have the opposite problem. She barely said anything to me, and left the room again less than five minutes after arriving.”

“What’s your roommate’s name?” Willow asked. “Maybe we know her.”

“Amity. I don’t know her last name.”

Both Willow and Gus’s eyes went wide. “Amity Blight?” Gus asked.

Luz shrugged. “I guess so. Are there any other Amitys around here?”

“Not that I know of,” Willow said. Her mouth was pursed into a thin line.

Luz looked back and forth between the two of them. “That bad, huh?” she asked, with some trepidation. 

“Amity has a reputation for being… pretty cold,” Gus explained. “And kind of, well, arrogant.”

Huh. Luz hadn’t exactly gotten that impression. Sure, Amity carried herself with an air of confidence, but what little she’d said to Luz hadn’t come across as particularly arrogant. 

Cold, though? Yeah, Luz could see it.

“She’s the best dancer in the school, and boy does she know it,” Willow added, rolling her eyes.

_The best dancer in the school? And she has amber eyes…_

"Wait a minute, did you say her last name was Blight?" Luz asked, her brain suddenly making the connection. "As in, Edric and Emira Blight?"

"The very same," Gus said. "They're her older siblings."

Edric and Emira Blight were twins who both danced with the National Ballet Company. They’d entered the company a couple of years ago after completing their training at Hexside, and were widely considered to be rising stars in the ballet world. Luz had seen numerous promotional photos featuring them, and videos of their performances.

The twins had the same golden-amber eyes as their sister, which would explain why Luz had thought Amity’s eyes looked familiar.

"Wow," Luz said. "So she comes from a ballet family."

"Yeah, she's basically ballet royalty," Willow said. "She’s a shoe-in to get into the company. I’m honestly surprised they haven’t taken her as an apprentice already.”

There was a bitterness in Willow’s tone that surprised Luz. “You… really don’t like Amity, do you?” she asked.

“Not really,” Willow said quietly. “But I'd rather not get into it right now, if that’s okay.”

“Of course,” Luz said, letting the subject drop.

***

Later that evening, the students gathered in the common room after dinner for a presentation from the faculty.

“Welcome, Advanced students. My name is Lilith Clawthorne, and I will be overseeing your training this year,” said a tall, serious-looking woman with raven black hair and icy blue eyes, addressing the crowd of assembled teenagers. 

_Clawthorne… she must be Eda’s sister._

Luz examined the woman curiously. She knew that Eda and her sister weren’t close, but Eda hadn’t told her any more than that. 

“The girls will have Ballet Technique with me every morning, followed by Pointe three days a week and Variations the other two,” Lilith continued, “While the boys will have Ballet Technique and Variations with Albert.” She motioned to a short man with brown hair and owlish eyes, who nodded at the group in acknowledgement. “Both boys and girls will have Pas De Deux class in the afternoons with Steve,” she concluded, this time indicating a taller man with sandy blonde hair, who waved.

Next, Lilith began introducing Hieronymus Bump, Hexside’s Artistic Director. While she was speaking, going on and on about Bump’s illustrious career prior to becoming Artistic Director, Luz’s attention began to wander and she couldn’t resist glancing around the room at her fellow students. 

She spotted Amity right away. Her roommate was sitting near the front, with two other girls. Luz had seen the three of them together at dinner earlier, and guessed that these two must be Amity’s friends.

Amity was watching Lilith intently, which surprised Luz a little, since she must have heard this same spiel many times before.

_Well, Willow did say she’s the best dancer here. She obviously takes her training very seriously._

Idly, she wondered if Amity might be willing to give her a few pointers. Since she was new and didn’t have the years of training at Hexside under her belt that many of the other Advanced students did, Luz figured she was bound to have some catching up to do initially. But if Amity was as cold and arrogant as Willow and Gus had implied, it was pretty unlikely that she’d agree to help Luz out.

_Ah, well. Who needs her anyway? I’ve got Willow and Gus - they’ve both been training here for years as well._

Bump, an older man who had once been a famous dancer with the National Ballet Company, came forward as Lilith finished her introduction. Luz tore her gaze away from Amity, sternly ordering herself to pay attention. 

“At the end of every year, we hold a Workshop,” Bump explained, after he’d given a brief overview of the year ahead. “This Workshop is the culmination of all the hard work you will be putting in over the coming year. It is your opportunity to demonstrate your abilities and get noticed. Director Belos will be there, along with representatives from most of the other major ballet companies, so treat this Workshop as an audition. Director Belos will be observing your progress throughout the year, of course, but he never makes any decisions about which students he will take on as apprentices until he sees them perform in the Workshop.”

Luz listened attentively, determined to get a leading role in that workshop and prove to Belos, the Artistic Director of the National Ballet Company, that she had what it took to be hired as an apprentice.

She glanced over at Amity again. From the sounds of things, her roommate was the one to beat.

 _I'll just have to show them that I'm every bit as good as she is,_ Luz thought. _Then, they'll have to hire me._

***

Luz returned to her dorm room fairly late in the evening, having spent a little more time with Willow and Gus after the presentation. Amity wasn’t there when she arrived, which was a little surprising given that it was almost time for lights out. Luz wondered where she could be.

She’d changed into her pajamas, brushed her teeth and had climbed into bed with a book by the time Amity came in.

“Hey,” Luz said.

“Hey,” Amity said in return. Luz watched as she collected her pajamas and toothbrush, before leaving the room again. She came back a few minutes later, carrying the clothes she’d been wearing in a neatly folded pile.

“Is it okay if I turn this off?” Amity asked, indicating the overhead light. Luz nodded, reaching over to turn on her bedside lamp. 

Amity turned off the light and climbed into bed. She unlocked her phone and started doing something on it - probably setting an alarm.

Luz felt the need to say something else before they went to sleep. To have some semblance of a conversation, even if it was a short one. 

“So…” she began, “I heard you’re related to Edric and Emira Blight. What’s it like to have siblings? I’m an only child.”

Okay, so maybe it wasn’t the best conversation starter, but it had seemed innocent enough. However, Amity stiffened at the mention of the Blight twins, frowning slightly. 

“Trust me, you’re lucky,” she said curtly. Setting her phone aside, she rolled over to face the wall. “Would you mind turning off your light?” she asked. “I’m tired.”

“Of course. Sorry,” Luz replied, confused by her roommate’s sudden negative reaction. _What was that about?_

Sighing, she set aside her book and turned off the light, rolling over to face the opposite wall. Unfortunately, it seemed like maybe Willow and Gus had been right about Amity. She wasn’t interested in being friends.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the first day of classes, Amity watches Luz dance and wonders if she might be a potential rival.

_Thwak! Thwak! Thwak!_

Amity banged the toe box of her pointe shoe against the floor repeatedly, then pressed the palm of her hand into the top of the box to further soften it. She bent the shoe back and forth to break in the arch, then grabbed her ribbons and proceeded to sew them in with quick, practiced stitches. 

Preparing a new pair of pointe shoes was a process that had become second-nature to her over the years, to the point where she could probably do it in her sleep. While her hands carried out the familiar task, her mind was free to wander, and her thoughts drifted to the previous day.

Meeting her new roommate, Luz, had been an interesting experience. The first thing Amity had noticed about Luz was that she had warm brown eyes, a nice smile, and somewhat questionable fashion sense. 

The second thing she’d noticed was that Luz very clearly had no idea who she was.

Amity was well aware of the reputation she had among the other students. She was the best dancer in the school and teachers doted on her, so people assumed she was arrogant. She mostly kept to herself and didn’t try to befriend everyone she met, so they assumed she was cold and unfriendly. And, well, she wasn’t totally undeserving of that reputation. Not after what had happened with Willow.

It also didn’t help that Amity’s only friends were Boscha and Skara. The three of them were widely regarded as the mean girls of Hexside, even if Boscha was the only one who actually bullied anyone. 

In any case, every roommate she’d had since her first year at the school had seemed intimidated by her. They'd all avoided her as much as possible, and Amity hadn’t made friends with any of them.

But Luz… Luz seemed to want to get to know her.

_That probably won’t last. Soon enough, she’ll hear what the other students say about me. She won’t want to be friends after that._

_And even if she did, I don’t know if I could risk it. I wouldn’t want to hurt her the way I hurt Willow._

Amity frowned, pushing away the painful memory.

_Friends are a distraction, anyway. You have your career to think about._

Amity knew she was on track to get her apprenticeship with the National Ballet Company at the end of the year. She’d been the top student in her age group every year for the past four years, she’d had leading roles in every Workshop, and Lilith had told her privately that Director Belos would be keeping a close eye on her this year. She practically had it in the bag - she just had to stay focused and not get injured, and she’d be in the company.

Then, Amity had every intention of moving quickly up the ranks, until she achieved the coveted title of principal dancer. That was the plan. It had always been the plan.

Still, she was painfully aware that nothing in life was guaranteed. Any number of things could happen between now and the end of the year. An injury, perhaps, or a rival. Someone could very well come along and knock her off her throne.

Amity scanned the room, picking out the new students. She’d need to watch them carefully over the next few days, to see if any of them were a potential threat.

She spotted Luz on the other side of the studio, preparing her own shoes for class. There were around four new girls this year and Amity intended to keep a close eye on all of them, but she had the feeling her roommate would be the one to watch.

Setting her finished pointe shoes aside, she began some gentle stretching to warm her body up before class. When she looked over at Luz again, Willow had joined her.

Amity felt the familiar sharp ache in her stomach at the sight of her former friend. Willow had been her roommate during their first year at the school. The two of them had been inseparable, until about halfway through the year when one of their teachers spoke to Amity’s mother and said that she’d seemed distracted in class lately. Odalia Blight had pressured Amity to end the friendship after that, because, in her mother’s words, Willow was "holding you back from realizing your full potential." She’d even gotten the school to shift Willow to a different room.

And Amity had gone along with it, because she was terrified of not being the best, of disappointing her mother. She’d pushed away her only friend and thrown herself into her dancing. Friendships were a distraction. Making it as a ballet dancer was all that mattered.

Amity hated herself for the way she had treated Willow back then. She’d been young, but she should have known better. She knew better now, and a part of her wanted desperately to make things right. But she wouldn’t have the first clue where to start.

_Face it. Your relationship with Willow is damaged beyond repair._

And now Luz was friends with her. Amity watched them chatting animatedly with a sinking feeling in her stomach. Willow would tell Luz about what had happened, and there was no way Luz would want to be her friend once she knew.

With a sigh, Amity continued her preparations - taping her toes and wrapping them in lamb’s wool before pulling on her pointe shoes and tying the ribbons around her ankles. Standing, she took her position at the barre as Lilith walked into the studio.

“Good morning, class,” Lilith greeted them. “Is everyone warmed up? We’ll begin with plié. Starting in first position: two demi, one grand, cambré forward and back, repeat in second with cambré towards the barre and then away, fourth and then fifth, finishing with circular port de bras,” she explained, demonstrating the movements as she did so. Then she motioned for the pianist to begin playing the accompaniment.

This plié combination was second-nature to Amity. As she moved gracefully through the familiar positions, she watched Luz out of the corner of her eye. Amity couldn’t deny that the other girl had a beautiful, expressive port de bras.

However, as barre progressed it soon became clear that Luz had trained in an entirely different technique to that which was taught at Hexside. Her movements were not quick or precise enough, and before long she was receiving numerous corrections.

Still, Amity couldn’t help but notice Luz’s beautiful lines and high extensions. She clearly had a solid, classical foundation on which to build, and was likely capable of picking up the more modern Hexside technique without too much difficulty.

_I’ll need to keep an eye on her._

Luz continued to struggle once they'd finished with barre and moved to centre, particularly during the quicker combinations. But during the grand allegro portion of the class, she seemed to fly across the floor. Her leaps were expressive and joyful, and Amity found it hard to look away.

_She’s talented, all right. I was right about her being the one to watch._

Class ended after grand allegro, and Amity followed Boscha and Skara out of the studio, the three of them sipping from their water bottles. They had a short break before their next class. 

As they headed down the hallway, Boscha pointed to one of the studios. “That’s the men’s class,” she said eagerly. “Come on girls, let’s sneak a peek!”

_Oh. Right. This again._

Resigned, Amity followed Boscha and Skara over to the studio’s entrance. Her friends peered excitedly into the open doorway, clearly keen to check out the new students in the Advanced Men’s class. Amity played along, feigning the same level of enthusiasm as the other girls commented on the boys’ physiques and speculated as to whether they were gay or straight.

Truthfully, Amity couldn’t care less. She wasn’t interested in boys that way - never had been and never would be. But she had to pretend. She couldn’t have anyone finding out that she was…

_Gay._

It was her best-kept secret. One that she even tried to hide from herself, sometimes.

  
  


***

  
  


After Pointe class, the Advanced students headed to lunch. Amity followed Boscha and Skara, grabbing a tray and eyeing the cafeteria food with disinterest. She was examining the various salads on offer when her mother appeared by her side.

“Amity, dear!” Odalia said brightly, placing a perfectly manicured hand on her daughter’s shoulder. Amity resisted the urge to shrug it off. “How is the first day going?”

Amity’s mom was a receptionist for the National Ballet Company, a position which allowed her to remain close to her children. Too close, if you asked Amity. Always in the same building, liable to drop in on Amity at any moment. Monitoring her closely, to ensure she retained her top student status.

“It’s going fine, Mom,” Amity said, forcing a smile. She’d become an expert at hiding her discomfort from her mother. Grabbing a salad at random, she headed to a table in the corner. Her mother followed, as Amity had known she would.

They sat down. Odalia had chosen a salad as well. Though she wasn’t a dancer anymore, she certainly maintained the figure of one. “What are the new students like?” Odalia asked, her tone conspiratorial. “Anyone we need to worry about?”

_Luz,_ Amity thought, but there wasn’t a chance in hell she’d admit that to her mother. “No,” she said, feigning confidence, “They all have a lot of catching up to do. None of them are anywhere near my level.”

“What about your new roommate?”

_Well, Mom, let’s see. Her technique needs work, but she’s a beautiful dancer who is obviously naturally talented, and I’m worried that in a few months she will have caught up and I’ll be fighting to stay ahead of her. Oh, and her extensions are higher than mine. Her lines are better._

Amity didn’t let any of her inner turmoil show on her face or in her voice. “She’s way behind technique-wise,” she said coolly. “I don’t think there’s anything to worry about there.”

“Good, good,” said her mother. “But make sure you keep an eye on her, and the rest of them.” Odalia reached across the table to give Amity’s hand a squeeze. “We’re so close, darling. Just a few more months and you’ll be in the company. All of our hard work is finally paying off.”

Amity smiled and nodded, all the while resisting the urge to pull her hand away. 

When she was younger, Amity hadn’t minded the unusual amount of control her mother had exerted over her and her siblings’ lives. She’d thought it meant Odalia cared - that when it came to her ballet career, she and her mother were in it together. But over the years, and particularly after what had happened with Willow, she’d realized that it had never been about what she wanted. 

Her mother had injured herself early in her dance career and had to retire. Now, she was living vicariously through her children.

_When you look at me, all you see is the perfect ballet dancer,_ she thought. _You have no idea what is really going on in my head._

There was a time when Amity genuinely loved dancing, more than anything else in the world. But that love had been tainted by the realization that Amity’s success as a dancer meant more to her mother than anything, even her daughter’s happiness.

  
  


***

  
  


After lunch, the girls and boys joined up for afternoon pas de deux class. 

Amity was paired with Matt. She’d danced with him before, and he was a good enough partner. Amity knew that most of the other students didn’t like him, but then, most of the other students didn’t like her, either. 

In that respect, at least, they made a good pair.

Luz was paired with Gus, she noticed. Gus was one of the younger students in their division, but he was also one of the best male dancers. Luz would do well with him.

Amity tried to put Luz out of her mind and focus on the class. She wasn’t sure why she felt the need to constantly check up on the other girl, anyway. Yes, Luz was good, but she had a long way to go before she’d be a serious rival. There was no reason to spend so much time watching her, but as the class progressed, Amity found her gaze drawn to her roommate again and again.

And she couldn’t deny that Luz was doing better in this class than she had in the previous ones. _So this is what she’s good at,_ Amity mused, watching Luz and Gus perform a graceful adagio. Luz’s movements were fluid and expressive, and she possessed an undeniable artistry.

There was something about the way she danced that made it hard to look away. And as Amity watched, she began to realize just what this mysterious quality was. 

_Joy._

Luz’s love for dancing was evident in her every movement. She danced the way Amity used to, with a passion and a freedom that Amity hadn’t been able to find in a long time. 

It was beautiful to watch. _Luz_ was beautiful to watch. Amity could absolutely envision her dancing principal roles like Giselle or Juliet, or even Aurora one day.

And the longer she watched, the more intrigued she became. More and more, Amity found herself wanting to get to know Luz. Wanting to be her friend.

_Stop thinking that way! She’s your competition. You both want the same thing: a company contract. You have to prove that you deserve it more than she does._

Why did that particular voice in her head always sound like her mother?

_See? This is why you can't be friends with Luz. Face it. If Mom finds out and tells you to end it, you'll do it. You'll hurt her just like you hurt Willow, because that's easier than standing up to Mom. You've never been strong enough to go against her._

_Maybe you never will be._

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The opening scene of this chapter was inspired by this scene from the movie Center Stage:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7BBRkJi90U4&ab_channel=ValeBjork


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luz and Amity discover something they have in common.

“Ugh, Lilith hates me!”

Luz flopped backwards onto Willow’s bed in dramatic fashion, frustrated after another difficult morning of classes. It seemed like no matter how hard she tried, nothing she did was ever good enough for Eda’s sister.

“Aww, Luz, she doesn’t hate you,” Willow said sympathetically. “She’s just really strict, and she’s trying to help you adapt your technique.”

“Trying to wear me down slowly until I decide a ballet career isn’t for me,” Luz grumbled, although she knew Willow was right. Lilith’s teaching style was just very different from Eda’s. While Eda would certainly tell Luz when she was doing something wrong, Lilith seemed to relish picking apart every aspect of Luz’s technique. They were halfway through their second week of classes, and Luz was still receiving more corrections than any other student. She’d been working as hard as she could to implement them, even practicing by herself in the studio after hours. But all of that practice tended to fly straight out of her head when she was in the studio under Lilith’s eagle eye, and she found herself reverting to her old habits. 

Luz had always considered herself a good dancer, but the classical technique she’d learned from Eda was very different from the fast, modern technique taught at Hexside. She was doing her best to adapt, but right now she felt like the worst dancer of the bunch.

It was embarrassing and frustrating, and what made it worse was that Amity was there, in every class, witnessing it all.

_I bet she’s enjoying watching me fail._

Willow and Gus hadn’t exaggerated Amity’s abilities. From what Luz had seen of her in class, Amity had near-perfect technique. Her movements were quick and precise, and she also possessed a musicality and an artistry that stood out from the rest of the class. 

She was good. Really good.

She was also Lilith’s pet student. And not just Lilith’s, either. All of their teachers constantly held Amity up as an example for the other students, asking her to demonstrate a new exercise, or show a struggling student the correct way to do things. Luz had been ordered to watch Amity demonstrate a particular movement or combination on more than one occasion.

Such instances always felt particularly awkward, given that Luz and Amity had been living together for a week and a half, and yet they only ever seemed to cross paths at bedtime. Luz had made almost no progress in getting to know her roommate - in fact she’d barely seen her outside of ballet class. She couldn’t help but wonder if Amity was avoiding her for some reason.

“At least I know where I stand with Lilith,” Luz muttered under her breath, thinking out loud. 

“What was that, Luz?” Willow asked.

“Oh, nothing. I just… think Amity might be avoiding me. She’s hardly ever around - it’s like I’m living with a ghost.” Luz sighed. “I don’t know why she’d even feel the need to avoid me - we’ve barely interacted. Unless, I don’t know, my very existence is upsetting to her?” Sitting up, she crossed her legs and dropped her head into her hands. “At least Lilith makes her feelings about me clear,” she continued. “I know she doesn’t like me and I know exactly why. Amity’s behaviour is so… confusing.”

“I wouldn’t worry about it, Luz,” Willow said. “Amity’s just like that. She doesn’t make friends. She hangs out with Boscha and Skara, and that’s it. I guess they’re the only ones worthy enough to associate with her,” she added, rolling her eyes. 

There it was again. That barely concealed hostility in Willow’s voice, that glimmer of hurt in her eyes that said there was more to the story. Willow had had the same reaction to talking about Amity on the first day Luz had known her, and the more times it happened the more sure she became. Willow and Amity had a history.

What that history might be, she had no idea. Had they been friends once, and then had a falling out? Had Amity bullied Willow when they were younger? Luz, desperate as she was for any information that could help her understand the walking enigma that was Amity, was impossibly curious. But she knew better than to ask. Willow had been reluctant to discuss Amity on the first day they’d met, and Luz didn’t want to upset her friend. 

“Why does it bother you so much, anyways?” Willow asked. “You barely spend any time in your room. Who cares if Amity does the same?”

“I don’t know,” Luz said, deciding not to mention that she probably would spend more time in her room if things with Amity weren’t so awkward. “I guess I just feel weird about the fact that we share a room and I still barely know anything about her. It sounds stupid, but… before I came here I thought a lot about what it would be like, and I was looking forward to having a roommate. I was hoping we’d become friends.” 

She sighed, but then brightened when she remembered that she had already made a couple of amazing friends here at Hexside. “You’re right though,” she said, smiling at Willow. “It’s not the end of the world. I have you and Gus, and you guys are the best friends I could ever ask for. It’s a little awkward living with someone who barely talks to me, but I’ll get used to it.”

“That’s the spirit,” Willow said encouragingly.

  
  


***

  
  


“Not quite, Luz. It needs to be more like this.”

Luz held back a sigh of frustration as Kikimora, their Variations teacher, corrected the position of her arms for what felt like the hundredth time that morning. She was trying her hardest to get it right, but she'd already learned the more classical version of this variation and she found herself reverting to it anytime her concentration slipped.

“Try it again,” Kikimora instructed.

Luz groaned inwardly, but nodded her assent and headed back to her starting position. _Focus!_ she told herself firmly, as the music began. _You can do this!_

She concentrated with all her might as she made her way through the steps, refusing to let her attention wander in the slightest. _Remember, lean forward a little here. Don’t hold yourself so upright. And the arms go from first to an open fifth position. Don’t round them!_

Luz made it through the part of the variation that had been giving her so much trouble, and as she executed the final series of piqué turns across the floor, she felt a small bubble of satisfaction rise in her chest. She completed the steps and hit her final pose (kneeling, with one knee up and the other on the floor), holding the position as she waited to hear Kikimora’s judgement.

“Well done, Luz,” her teacher said. “That was much better. Now, who’s next?”

_Wait, not a single correction?_

Luz could scarcely believe it. She wanted to jump for joy.

Instead, she settled for catching Willow’s eye across the room and grinning like a maniac. Willow gave her a subtle thumbs up, grinning back just as hard.

“Amity, you go next,” Kikimora said.

That brought Luz back down to earth. No matter how well she’d done, Amity was sure to show her up.

Luz walked over to where the rest of the girls waited along one side of the studio. Leaning back against the barre, she watched intently as Amity began the variation. 

She always watched Amity closely, reasoning that she could learn a lot from observing the top student at work. Studying her movements, picking apart her technique, and then applying those learnings to her own dancing.

Plus, she had to admit, Amity was beautiful to watch.

Amity performed the variation flawlessly, of course. Every step was perfectly executed, every movement of her arms was fluid and intentional. She was right on the music. She looked like she could perform the variation onstage tomorrow, in front of an audience, without any issues.

But as Luz watched, she couldn’t help but feel that there was something… missing. Amity was a technical specialist, absolutely. There was nothing Luz could fault there. But her dancing was almost… mechanical.

Amity danced the steps exactly as she was supposed to, but Luz sensed that the emotions she displayed were not genuine. She was performing it, but she wasn’t _feeling_ it.

_She’s a masterful actress, but does she really love dancing?_

Luz had spent enough time watching Amity over the past week and a half that she’d begun to notice something about her roommate - something she wasn’t sure anyone else had looked closely enough to see. As dancers, performing was their job. But it kind of seemed like Amity was _always_ performing, even when she didn’t need to be. 

And when Luz looked deeper, past the perfect ballerina act, she could see that under the surface there were barely detectable hints of sadness, occasionally visible through the cracks in the façade.

_I don’t think she’s very happy._

  
  


***

  
  


“Did you see that?” Luz exclaimed, excitedly pumping her fist in the air. “I got a ‘well done’ from Kikimora!”

Class had just finished, and she and Willow were packing up their things before heading to lunch.

“I did, and it was great!” Willow said. “See, I told you the teachers don’t hate you,” she added, bumping her shoulder against Luz’s good-naturedly. “They’ve just been trying to help. And it’s working - you’re improving really quickly.”

“That might be going a bit far,” Luz said with a laugh. “I performed a variation correctly once. I still have a ways to go.”

“You’ll get there,” Willow assured her. “Now come on, let’s get to lunch. I’m starving.”

“Oh, me too,” Luz agreed. “Race you there!”

Laughing, they dashed out of the studio and towards the elevators.

After making it to the dining hall (Luz claimed she’d won the race, while Willow insisted it was a draw) and getting their food, Luz and Willow sat down at their usual table. Gus joined them a few minutes later, the Men’s class having also just finished.

“Gus!” Luz exclaimed as he sat down, “I got all the way through Bluebird variation without screwing anything up!”

“Nice one!” Gus said, giving her a high five.

“Not that anyone asked, but I also did Bluebird variation without messing it up,” Willow teased, nudging Luz.

Luz nudged her back. “You do it right every time, so it doesn’t count,” she laughed.

“Hey, I get corrections.”

“Yeah, minor ones. Anyway, how was your class, Gus?” Luz asked.

“Pretty good. We’re still working on the Prince’s variation from Act 1 of Swan Lake.”

“Oh, fun. I hope we get to do something from Swan Lake.”

As the three of them continued to chat about their respective classes, Luz once again found herself looking around the dining hall for Amity. It was a strange habit of hers. There was no reason for her to be watching Amity outside of class, but something about the other girl seemed to draw her gaze. Even when she wasn’t dancing.

Her roommate wasn’t immediately visible, but eventually Luz spotted Amity sitting at a table hidden away in the far corner of the room. She wasn’t with Boscha and Skara today, which was unusual. But she wasn’t alone either. Seated across from Amity was an elegant blonde woman, who looked to be around Eda’s or Lilith’s age. Luz wondered who she was.

After a few moments of observation, it became pretty clear to Luz that whoever this woman was, Amity wasn’t entirely comfortable in her presence. She was smiling at the woman, but Luz could see the tension in her body from across the room.

And the longer she looked, the more she began to see a certain… resemblance between them. They had the same high cheekbones, the same nose, the same pointed chin.

_Maybe she’s Amity’s mother._ The hair was different, but Edric and Emira Blight had blonde hair. Amity might just take after her father in that regard. 

_But if she is, then why does Amity look so tense?_

  
  


***

  
  


After her final class of the day, Amity headed back to her room. Unlocking the door, she turned on the light and tossed her bag onto her bed with a sigh. 

She had a little downtime before dinner. Normally, she’d just come back here for a quick shower and then head off to the library to do some schoolwork, so as not to bother Luz if she wanted to use the room. But today, she didn’t feel like going anywhere. 

And in any case, Luz wasn’t here right now. Amity could use the room if she wanted.

She showered quickly and changed into comfortable clothes, before sitting down at her desk and taking a look at her English assignment. Like most of the students at Hexside, Amity was completing high school through correspondence. Her ballet training made it impossible to physically attend a school for six hours a day.

_Just one of the many normal teenage experiences I’ve missed out on._

English was one of Amity’s favorite subjects, but today she found herself struggling to concentrate. Her mind kept replaying the conversation she’d had with her mother at lunch.

_“How’s pas de deux class going?” Odalia had asked._

_“It’s going fine,” Amity said, twirling her fork around in her barely-touched salad._

_“It’s a shame you were assigned Matt as a partner. I hope he isn’t holding you back.”_

_“Matt’s not a bad partner,” Amity defended him._

_“‘Not bad’ isn’t good enough, dear. You should be partnered with the best. Like that Gus boy. It’s such a waste for him to be paired with that roommate of yours._ She’s _certainly never going to amount to anything.”_

_Amity felt her face flush at her mother’s words, and anger coiled in her stomach. What right did she have to talk about Luz that way? As far as Amity knew, Odalia hadn’t even seen Luz dance. And although she was still behind, Luz was improving quickly - just this morning she’d danced the Bluebird variation flawlessly. Amity certainly never got tired of watching her._

_“It’s fine,” was all she said._

_“Maybe I should pull a few strings - talk to Bump about having you switch partners.”_

_“That won’t be necessary,” Amity said quickly, feeling a surge of panic. She absolutely did_ not _want to take Luz’s partner away from her. Luz and Gus were friends, and Amity could see how much they enjoyed dancing together. “Matt is a good partner,” she continued. “I’m comfortable dancing with him. I don’t want to have to get used to someone new.”_

_“Okay, darling, if you’re sure,” Odalia said, not sounding entirely convinced. “But let me know if you change your mind.”_

_“I will,” Amity promised, knowing that she never would._

Although her mother had agreed not to, Amity was still worried that Odalia might go behind her back and ask Bump to swap her and Luz’s pas de deux partners. She knew she hadn’t been completely convincing - she’d been too panicked at the thought of upsetting Luz to come up with a really good excuse for not wanting to switch.

With a sigh, Amity abandoned the assignment for the time being. She needed to do something relaxing - something that would help her calm down. She needed a good distraction.

Kneeling down, Amity reached under her bed and pulled out the first book in the _Good Witch Azura_ series. They’d been her favorite books ever since she was a young pre-teen, and right now she needed the comfort they provided.

She flopped down on her bed and opened the book, quickly getting lost in the familiar story. Before too long, Amity’s worries about her mother faded into the background as she immersed herself in her favorite fantasy world.

  
  


***

  
  


“Oh, hey Amity.”

When she heard Luz come in, Amity looked up for the first time in what felt like hours. She didn’t know how long she’d been reading, but the grumbling in her stomach told her it had to be close to dinnertime.

“Hi,” she said, reaching for her phone to check the time. Sure enough, it was almost six.

“Whatcha reading?” Luz asked, walking over and sitting down on her own bed. She began pulling bobby pins out of her bun, slowly freeing her shoulder-length dark hair. Amity watched, momentarily transfixed. _She has such pretty hair._

Luz was looking at her expectantly.

_Oh, right. She asked me a question._

Amity held up the cover so Luz could see. “It’s childish, I know, but-”

“Oh my _God!”_ Luz exclaimed, “You like the Good Witch Azura books? _That’s my favorite series!”_

“It-it is?” Amity asked, a little unnerved by how intently Luz was staring at her. Her roommate’s eyes were wide, and she was practically vibrating with excitement.

“Yes! I’m obsessed with it - I’ve read all of the books like a hundred times. But I’ve never met anyone in real life who likes them.”

Amity smiled shyly. “I’ve never met anyone else who likes them, either.”

“What’s your favorite book in the series?” Luz asked eagerly. “Mine’s probably the most recent one. I love that Azura and Hecate finally teamed up!”

“Uh…”

Luz was talking a mile a minute, and Amity could barely keep up. It was kind of overwhelming, but in a good way. “I guess book five is probably my favorite as well,” she eventually managed. “It ended on such a cliffhanger, though.”

“Ugh, I know! The suspense is killing me - I can’t wait until book six comes out next year!”

“Me either. I’ve already pre-ordered my copy,” Amity admitted.

“Oh, me too! I got in there as soon as the pre-order opened. I woke up in the middle of night and everything,” Luz said proudly.

Before Amity could ask Luz why she'd felt the need to get up in the middle of the night to pre-order a book that was in no danger of selling out, her phone pinged. She checked it, and saw that it was the alarm she’d set for dinner.

“Oh, it’s dinnertime,” she said, a little awkwardly. To her surprise, she found that she didn’t really want the conversation to end. 

“Oh, crap!” Luz said. “I lost track of time. I still need to shower and change. But let’s continue this conversation later!” she added as she grabbed her towel and change of clothes, before rushing out the door.

After she had gone, Amity stayed where she was for a couple of minutes, trying to process what had just happened.

_Well, that was unexpected._

She and Luz liked the same books. They had something in common - well, something other than ballet, anyways.

Her cheeks felt warm. When she raised a hand to her face, Amity realized that she was smiling. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d smiled like this, out of genuine happiness.

Carefully, she marked her place and set the book aside, then gathered her things and went downstairs to dinner, all the while feeling as though she was walking on air.

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Here is the variation Luz dances, if anyone is interested :)  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k9nHhYahf9s&ab_channel=CentralPAYouthBallet


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luz and Amity form a tentative friendship, and Luz talks to Willow about what happened between her and Amity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! Sorry this chapter took me a little while to get out. It's the longest one yet, though, so that should hopefully make up for it!

_I think Amity and I might actually be becoming friends._

Two weeks ago, Luz would have considered such a thing to be impossible. Friendship with Amity, who barely spoke to her and clearly had no interest in getting to know her? Yeah, right! 

But as she looked at Amity sitting across from her, Luz couldn’t deny that over the past week or so, ever since the day she’d walked in on Amity reading the first Azura book, things had changed between them.

Now, they crossed paths a lot more. Without ever actually discussing it, they’d both started coming back to their shared room after their final class of the day, spending the couple of hours they had free before dinner working on schoolwork together, or reading, or even just talking. 

Amity was still pretty reserved, but Luz talked enough for both of them. And Amity was slowly warming up to her - taking part in the conversation a little more with each passing day. The awkwardness that Luz had felt between them since their first meeting was slowly dissipating, and to her surprise, Luz was discovering that she really enjoyed Amity’s company.

They only ever discussed safe topics: books (Azura, mostly), movies, ballet, schoolwork. Luz didn’t feel like she really _knew_ Amity yet, but she thought that with time, she might get there. And she wanted to. Amity intrigued her - she was so talented, yet she seemed so unhappy at times. Luz wanted to know why that was, and why Amity had been so closed off when Luz first met her. More and more, she was getting the sense that Amity’s reputation among the Hexside students was largely undeserved, but if that was the case, then who was Amity, really? Why did she act the way she did? Luz hadn’t figured her out yet, but she wanted to.

And then there was the whole business with Willow. Luz still didn’t know what it was that had happened between Willow and Amity, and she hadn’t yet told Willow that the two of them were becoming friends. She was afraid of upsetting her, given how strongly Willow seemed to dislike Amity. But Luz knew that she had to do it soon. She didn’t want to hide things from Willow. 

So, there was an awkward conversation in her future. But right now, it was just really great to be on friendly terms with Amity, and to actually get to hang out with her roommate. Even if said roommate was currently kicking her butt at Uno.

It was Sunday, so they had no ballet classes. Amity and Luz were enjoying a lazy afternoon in their room, playing card games on the floor between their beds. Currently, they were both sitting in middle splits as they played, trying to at least get some stretching in.

Luz groaned as Amity hit her with another Draw Two card. She already had upwards of ten cards in her hand, while Amity was down to her last few.

“Oh come on, have mercy on me!” she protested good-naturedly. “It’s not like I stand a chance of winning anyway.”

“Nothing in life is guaranteed,” Amity shot back playfully. “And I play to win. Uno.”

Luz had no means of delaying the inevitable, and Amity won the round. Again.

“Okay, that’s about as much losing as I can take for one day,” Luz said, laughing. “Let’s do something else.”

“Like what?” Amity asked.

“Oh, well… we could watch a movie or something?”

“Oh, um…” 

Amity hesitated, and Luz wondered if she might have overstepped. Their friendship - if that’s what it was - was still very new, after all. It was a fragile, unsteady thing - push it too far, too fast, and it would break.

She was about to backpedal, when Amity squared her shoulders and seemed to come to a decision. “Okay,” she said.

“Okay,” Luz agreed, inwardly thrilled but trying not to show it. She didn’t want to come on too strong and scare Amity away. “What do you feel like watching?”

“I’m… not sure,” Amity said. The uncertainty in her voice surprised Luz. This version of Amity was very different from the steely competitor who had crushed her at Uno just moments ago.

“That’s cool,” Luz said, with what she hoped was an encouraging smile. “Let’s take a look through Netflix then, and see if anything jumps out at us.” Standing up, she grabbed her laptop from its usual place on her desk and opened it up, while Amity gathered the cards up off the floor and put away the game.

Luz sat down on her bed and opened Netflix. The first movie that popped up was _Spirited Away,_ which made her smile.It was one of her favorites.

“Hey, Amity, have you ever seen a Studio Ghibli film?” she asked, looking up to find her roommate standing awkwardly by her own bed, as if she wasn’t sure what to do next. Luz patted the spot beside her, and Amity slowly came over and sat down, leaving enough space between them for a third person to sit.

“I don’t think so,” Amity said. “What are they?”

“They’re Japanese films,” Luz explained. “You know, like anime? They’re really popular though, and for good reason - they’re great movies. And we can watch them in English if you’d prefer.”

“Oh, okay,” Amity said. “I haven’t watched many animated movies, but if you say they’re good I’m happy to watch one. Which is your favorite?”

“This one,” Luz said, pointing to _Spirited Away._ “It’s about a girl who accidentally travels to the spirit world, and has to find a way to get back home. The story is so imaginative, and the animation is gorgeous. I’ve watched it more times than I can count, and I never get tired of it.”

“All right, you’ve sold me,” Amity said. “Let’s watch it.”

Luz wasn’t sure if Amity actually wanted to watch the movie or if she was just being agreeable, but she decided not to question it. She set up her laptop across from them on one of the desk chairs, and then grabbed some pillows for them to use to cushion their backs as they sat sideways on her bed, with the wall behind them. Once they were settled, Luz started the movie.

Amity sat stiffly at first, but her posture began to relax as she became engrossed in the story. As the movie progressed, Luz found herself watching Amity’s reactions almost as much as the film itself. Amity gasped when Chihiro’s parents first turned into pigs, and she watched the spirits entering the bathhouse with wide, wondering eyes. 

It made Luz happy to see how much she was enjoying it. She was glad she’d suggested that they watch this movie. Amity was just as captivated as Luz had been, the first time she’d seen _Spirited Away._

About halfway through the movie, Luz’s phone lit up with an incoming message. She checked it discreetly, not wanting to disturb Amity.

**Willow: Hey, what are you up to? Gus and I were thinking of going somewhere for dinner - wanna come?**

Luz typed a quick reply.

**Definitely! But I’m in the middle of something right now - give me an hour or so?**

**Willow: Ok sounds good, see you then.**

That taken care of, Luz set her phone aside. But she found she could no longer give the film her full attention.

She hadn’t been planning on telling Willow and Gus about Amity today, but it seemed as though she wouldn’t be able to put off the conversation any longer. Her friends would presumably ask what she’d been doing all afternoon when she saw them later, and Luz didn’t want to lie to them. 

_Ah, well. You knew you were going to have to tell Willow eventually. Better to get it over and done with, I guess._

Sighing inwardly, Luz resolved to put her worries to one side for now, and just enjoy the rest of the film.

  
  


***

  
  


“Wow. That was… amazing,” Amity said, as the credits rolled.

Luz smiled. “You liked it, then?” She already knew the answer - Amity’s reactions throughout the movie had left little doubt that she was enjoying it. But she wanted to hear her say it.

“I really did. It was wonderful - so creative! And beautiful. Especially the train sequence.”

“Yeah, I always find that part really mesmerizing.” Luz checked the time. “Oh, whoops! I need to go - I’m late to meet Willow and Gus.”

Quickly, she put her laptop away and gathered up her things, not wanting to keep her friends waiting. She was aware, however, that she was leaving Amity rather abruptly. “Sorry to rush out,” Luz said apologetically as she hunted around for her keys, “But I promised I’d meet them and I lost track of time.” 

“It’s fine,” she heard Amity say.

Locating her keys under some loose papers on her desk, Luz grabbed them and headed for the door. “I’ll see you later!” she said brightly, giving her roommate a little wave goodbye before exiting the room.

“Bye,” Amity said quietly in response, not meeting Luz’s gaze.

_What happened?_ Luz wondered as she shut the door behind her. Amity had been excitedly chatting to her about _Spirited Away_ just moments ago. Now she looked sad and forlorn, sitting there alone on Luz’s bed.

_Is it because I mentioned Willow?_

Amity’s reaction was further proof that something had definitely happened between Luz’s two friends. Luz was beginning to feel that the time had come to ask Willow about it.

_Whatever it is, Amity seems upset by it as well._

Luz quickly texted Willow to say that she was on her way, and Willow suggested they meet out by the front entrance. 

Luz’s friends arrived a few moments after she did. “Hey, guys!” she said happily when she saw them, pulling them both into a quick hug. “So, what’s the plan for dinner?”

“We were thinking pizza,” Gus said. “Not the healthiest choice, I know, but once won’t kill us.”

“Oh, I am _always_ down for pizza,” Luz said emphatically. “Let’s go!”

There was a local pizza restaurant a couple of blocks away from the school. The weather was mild, so they decided to walk, enjoying the crisp autumn air. 

Once they’d ordered and settled into a booth, Luz decided that now was as good a time as any for the conversation she’d been meaning to have.

“So..” she began, trying to calm the nervous butterflies in her stomach. “When you texted me earlier and I said I was in the middle of something, I was actually watching a movie. With, uh, Amity.”

She avoided making eye contact as she spoke, only looking up to see their reactions after she was finished. Two surprised faces stared back at her from across the table.

“Oh?” Gus said. “I didn’t realize you and Amity hung out.”

Luz glanced over at Willow. Her friend was silent, her expression unreadable.

“Well, we didn’t,” she explained quickly. “Not until recently. About a week ago I saw her reading one of my favorite books, and it turned out it was one of her favorites as well. We’ve been talking more and more often since then, and… hanging out, sometimes.” She shifted in her seat, looking down at the table. “I… think we might be becoming friends. Maybe. I’m not totally sure yet.”

Silence. Cautiously, Luz raised her eyes, taking in their slightly stunned expressions.

Gus was the first to recover. "Wow, Luz," he said. "That's, uh, great! I know how worried you were about having to live with her. I'm happy for you."

He smiled at her, and Luz gratefully returned it. Then, they both turned to look at Willow. 

"Willow?" Luz prodded, when her friend remained silent. "Are you… okay, with this? I know you don't like Amity very much."

Willow didn’t answer right away, appearing to consider her words. Luz watched as a series of emotions flickered like lightning across her face, too fast to identify. 

"Just… be careful, Luz," Willow said eventually, somewhat cryptically. 

"I… will be," Luz promised, wondering if Willow was planning on elaborating.

"I mean it," Willow said. "I don't want you to get hurt."

"Why would I get hurt?" Luz asked, genuinely curious. She’d been worried that Willow might feel like Luz was betraying her, by being friends with someone who had hurt her. She hadn’t considered the possibility that Willow would be worried about Amity hurting _Luz._

"Look," Willow said, "I just… I know Amity. She’s… not the best at friendships."

That was as good an opening as she was likely to get. "Willow, what happened between you two?" Luz asked. "I know something did. And you don't have to tell me if you really don't want to, but right now it kind of seems like you're trying to warn me, only I don't know what you're trying to warn me about.” She held Willow’s gaze as she spoke, a silent apology in her eyes for bringing up what she knew was a sensitive subject.

_I’m sorry, Willow. I know you don’t like to talk about it, but I have a good reason for asking._

Willow was silent for a moment, thinking. Then, she sighed. “You’re right. I don’t really like talking about it, but I think I probably should tell you.”

She spent a few moments gathering her thoughts. Luz kept quiet, not wanting to rush her.

“The first year that I was at Hexside, Amity and I were roommates,” Willow began. “It was her first year, too, and we really bonded. We did everything together - we were best friends. At least, I thought we were.”

Willow’s face darkened, presumably in response to some painful memory. “That lasted until about halfway through the year,” she continued. “Then, out of nowhere, she… ended the friendship. It was like a switch flipped. One night, everything was fine, and then the next day she was ignoring me, and calling me names and telling me to get lost when I tried to ask her what was wrong. She even asked for the room assignments to be changed. I was moved to a different room.” Willow shifted her gaze, meeting Luz’s eyes. “I still don’t know what happened,” she said, her voice breaking. “Why she stopped wanting to be my friend.”

Luz reached across the table and put her hand over her friend’s, giving it a gentle squeeze. “I’m so sorry, Wil,” she said. “That sounds awful. It must have been really hard.”

Her mind was buzzing with this new information, trying to sort through it and make it fit within the picture of Amity she’d been gradually piecing together over the last week - the quiet girl who didn’t have many friends, but who seemed to enjoy Luz’s company as much as Luz enjoyed hers; the perfect dancer who didn’t seem entirely happy with her life.

Luz never doubted for a second that Willow was being honest with her, but the Amity she had described didn’t sound like Luz’s roommate. Still, she was forced to admit that she didn’t know Amity all that well yet.

_Maybe she is capable of that sort of thing._

“It _was_ really hard,” Willow said quietly. “She meant a lot to me, and for her to cut me off like that, and treat me that way… it took me a long time to recover from it.” She looked up, holding Luz’s gaze. “I don’t want the same thing to happen to you,” she said.

“I understand,” Luz said solemnly. “I’ll be very careful, I promise.”

“Okay,” Willow said, and left it at that.

Their pizzas arrived a few moments later, and the conversation moved on to happier topics. But Willow’s words were constantly in the back of Luz’s mind. No matter how hard she tried, she just couldn’t reconcile that version of Amity with the one she knew. Amity could be distant and reserved, even cold at times, but she wasn’t cruel.

_Why would she do something like that?_

Luz knew that speculating about it was no use. She needed to hear Amity’s side of the story.

  
  


***

  
  


After Luz left, Amity wasn’t really sure what to do with herself.

She’d been having such a good time. The movie had been amazing - one of the best Amity had ever seen. It surprised her how much she liked it. Her parents had declared animated films to be “too childish” after she’d gotten past a certain age, so she’d only really seen a couple of Disney movies when she was very young. She’d assumed animation was just for kids, but this clearly wasn’t the case.

_I’ll have to ask Luz to show me more Studio Ghibli films._

Over the past week or so, ever since their first conversation about Azura, Amity had been spending more and more time with Luz. She’d quickly discovered that she really enjoyed her roommate’s company. It was nice to be able to talk to someone about the books she liked, without fear of judgement or ridicule. And Luz was just so easy to talk to - so open and friendly, so eager and enthusiastic about everything. She was the complete opposite of Boscha, who pretended she didn’t care about anything.

Amity found herself relaxing with Luz, letting her guard down - at least a little. She hadn’t had this much fun with anyone since Willow.

_Willow._

Luz had rushed off to meet Willow, and Gus. Amity didn’t think she knew about what had happened four years ago, but it was surely only a matter of time before Willow told her.

And then Amity would lose the tentative friendship that had sprung up between them, the friendship she was already beginning to cherish.

Thoughts of Willow, and of losing Luz, had been plaguing her ever since the other girl’s departure. It was strange that she should fear losing this so much, since she hadn’t particularly sought out the friendship in the first place.

_How did I manage to get so attached to her, so quickly?_

Sure, Luz had reached out to Amity, made an effort to get to know her when not many people did. She had to have heard the rumors, but she hadn’t pre-judged Amity. She’d given her a chance, a chance to prove that she wasn’t cold and heartless and mean. That she didn’t think she was better than everyone else.

All of that could easily explain why Luz’s friendship meant so much to her. But it didn’t explain the warm feeling in her chest whenever Luz smiled at her, or how good it felt when she said something that made Luz laugh. Luz had a pretty laugh, like bells chiming, and Amity liked hearing it.

It also didn’t explain why she suddenly wanted to spend all of her free time with Luz, to the point that she got a little jealous whenever Luz was with her other friends. And it didn’t explain why she still couldn’t look away whenever Luz danced.

_Why am I so drawn to her?_

Amity didn’t know the answer. But she did know that, having had a taste of friendship with Luz, she would find it very hard to go back to the way things had been before.

With a sigh, she checked the time and realized she was late for dinner. She wasn’t particularly hungry, but it was something to do. A chance to get out of her tiny room, which felt warm and homey when Luz was there, but in her absence was starting to feel claustrophobic. She gathered up her things and headed down to eat.

When Amity returned from dinner the room was still empty, so she picked up a book and started reading. She’d been at it for about ten minutes when the door opened and Luz walked in.

“Hi!” Amity said, immediately regretting how eager she’d sounded.

_Come on Amity, at least try to play it cool!_

“Hi,” Luz said, with a smile that seemed forced. Amity could see instantly that her whole demeanor had changed. She was trying to hide it, but something was clearly bothering her.

Amity’s stomach dropped. _She knows, doesn’t she? Willow told her._

“Everything okay?” she asked. She knew she should probably just leave Luz alone, let her pull away if she wanted to, but she couldn’t help herself. If this was the last conversation they would ever have as friends, then she wanted to at least have a conversation. 

Maybe it was desperate of her, but she couldn’t find it within herself to give up so easily. She could at least tell Luz her side of the story, if Luz was willing to listen.

“Yeah, everything’s okay,” Luz said, but her words lacked conviction. She walked over and sat down on her bed, across from Amity. There was a pause in which Luz appeared to be studying her hands in her lap, and Amity sensed that she was trying to figure out how to ask the question.

She’d save her the trouble. “Willow talked to you, didn’t she?” Amity said. “About what happened with us.”

Luz looked up, clearly surprised that Amity had figured it out. “How did you know?”

Amity shrugged. “I figured it was only a matter of time.”

“I guess that makes sense,” Luz said. “And yeah. She did.” She paused, probably trying to figure out the best way to say what she had to say next. Amity waited, fully expecting Luz to tell her that their friendship was over.

“And, well…” Luz continued, “What she said surprised me. Because I feel like I’ve been getting to know you over the past week, and it doesn’t seem like something you would do. So I wanted to ask you about it. I’d like to hear your side of the story, if you’ll tell me.”

Luz’s offer left Amity in awe. She was clearly upset by what Willow had told her, and yet here she was, giving Amity the benefit of the doubt. Giving her the chance to explain.

_She’s so amazing. I’ve never met anyone like her._

Luz, having said her piece, now looked at her calmly, waiting. Amity took a moment to collect her thoughts. She wanted to explain what had happened, why she’d behaved the way she did, without giving the impression that she was trying to make excuses for her actions.

“What Willow told you is the truth,” she said at last, holding Luz’s gaze and trying her hardest to keep her voice from shaking. “I did push her away. I ignored her, and when that didn’t work I was rude and mean to her until she stopped trying. I treated her horribly.”

She sighed, looking down at her hands in her lap. “But you were right in thinking there was more to the story. What Willow doesn’t know is that I never wanted to stop being her friend. What happened had nothing to do with her, or how I felt about her.” 

Amity glanced up at Luz again. Her roommate was leaning forward on her elbows, listening attentively. “I’ve never told anyone this before,” Amity said, “But this is what happened. About halfway through the year, one of the teachers spoke to my mother and told her that I’d seemed distracted in class. Mom knew it was because of Willow, and she… ordered me to end my friendship with her. She said that Willow was holding me back, keeping me from being the best dancer I could be. She said if I stayed friends with Willow, I’d never get into the company.”

Amity looked away, too ashamed of herself to hold Luz’s gaze any longer. “And so I agreed,” she admitted. “I was too scared not to. Being a dancer meant everything to me. Mom had Willow moved to a different room, and I ended our friendship. I knew it wouldn’t be possible to stay friends in secret, because Mom is always around and she talks to the teachers. So I did what she said. I hurt Willow instead of standing up to my mother, and I’ve regretted it ever since.”

She was almost done. Amity made herself look deep into Luz’s eyes as she finished saying her piece, because this part was important. “I know it doesn’t excuse what I did,” she said. “I feel terrible about it, and I wish I could make it right. I still miss our friendship every day.” 

There. She’d admitted everything to Luz - told her more than she’d ever told anyone. Anxiously, she waited to receive her judgement.

Luz was silent for a few moments, clearly processing everything that Amity had said. It felt like an eternity to Amity.

“Your mom really did that to you?” Luz asked eventually, in disbelief. Amity nodded. 

“Oh Amity, that is seriously messed up,” Luz said. Then, before Amity knew what was happening, she’d gotten up and crossed the distance between them, taking a seat next to Amity and tentatively wrapping an arm around her shoulders. Amity didn’t pull away.

“Poor Willow,” Luz continued. “Poor you! I can’t believe anyone would make their child do something like that. Over ballet, of all things!”

Amity laughed weakly. “You of all people should understand how important ballet can be. You want to be a dancer too.”

“That’s true,” Luz said. “But ballet isn’t everything. Your happiness is important too. No goal is worth being miserable for.”

Amity wanted to hug her. “I know that now,” she said. “If I could go back and do things differently, I would.”

Luz was silent for a moment, but she didn’t move away. Her arm around Amity’s shoulders was a welcome, comforting presence.

“Do you want to make things right with Willow?” Luz asked eventually.

Amity didn’t have to think about her answer. “Yes, more than anything,” she said. “But I don’t know if it’s possible, after all the damage I did.”

“What if I helped?” Luz asked.

Amity wasn’t sure if she’d heard that right. Was Luz really offering to help her repair her friendship with Willow? This girl was too much.

“You would really do that?” she asked, quiet and disbelieving.

“Of course,” Luz said simply. “Why wouldn’t I want to help my friends?”

_Friends. She still wants to be my friend._

“Okay,” Amity said.

“Okay?”

“Yes. I’d like your help,” Amity admitted shyly.

“All right!” Luz exclaimed, pulling Amity into a quick hug. It was unexpected, but not unwelcome. Amity wasn’t sure if she should hug Luz back, so she just kind of sat there. 

When they broke apart, Luz smiled at her. “Let’s make a plan,” she said. “We’ll call it Operation Willow!”

Amity had to smile at her enthusiasm.

“I think the first step will be telling Willow what really happened,” Luz continued. “Do you want me to tell her?” she asked.

Amity shook her head. “No, I think I should be the one to do it.” It would be easier to let Luz, but Willow deserved to hear the truth from Amity.

Luz nodded. “I think you’re probably right. But I’ll need to say something to get her to agree to meet with you. She’s still pretty hurt.”

“I know,” Amity said, frowning. “Just… tell her I’d like to explain what really happened. It’s up to her if she wants to give me a chance to do so. If the roles were reversed, I probably wouldn’t,” she admitted sadly.

“Okay,” Luz said. “That’s what I’ll say.” She smiled at Amity, warm and reassuring. She’d shifted her position on the bed, and now the light from overhead was hitting her in just the right way, making her skin seem to glow and her dark hair sparkle with a thousand different shades of brown. The sight took Amity’s breath away.

_God, she’s pretty,_ Amity thought, not for the first time.

Not for the first time…

Uh oh. When she stopped to think about it, she seemed to be having that thought an awful lot these days. That, and a variety of other thoughts which basically amounted to the same thing.

_Am I?..._

It didn’t necessarily have to mean anything. After all, Luz _was_ objectively pretty, and Amity was perfectly capable of appreciating a girl’s beauty in a purely aesthetic sense, without actually being attracted to her or developing feelings.

But this wasn’t just a random girl she walked by on the street, or in the supermarket. This was _Luz._ Funny, charming, overenthusiastic, nerdy, insanely talented, far kinder than she had any right to be Luz. Luz, Amity’s roommate. Luz, Amity’s _friend._

Luz, with her beautiful dark hair and warm brown eyes, with her wide smile that always dazzled Amity and her carefree, infectious laughter. Luz, who liked Azura. Who lost to Amity every time they played Uno, and was always a good sport about it.

Luz, who had befriended Amity even after hearing what the other students said about her. Who, upon learning what she’d done to Willow, had guessed that there was more to the story and given Amity the chance to explain herself. Because she saw the good in Amity, in a way that no one else seemed to.

Luz, who danced with her heart on her sleeve, never holding anything back. Amity could never look away when Luz danced.

Just a few hours ago she’d been trying to figure out why she was so inexplicably drawn to Luz. Now, it appeared she had her answer.

Deep down, Amity knew that her attraction to Luz wasn’t purely aesthetic. She was falling for her roommate.

And that scared the _shit_ out of her.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amity learns of an exciting opportunity, one that could open doors for both her and Luz.

“Are you ready?” Luz asked.

Amity swallowed nervously. “Yes, I think so. As ready as I’ll ever be, anyway.”

After their conversation the previous week, Luz had spoken to Willow and asked if she’d be willing to hear Amity’s side of the story. Although she’d taken some convincing, Willow had eventually agreed. Now, Luz and Amity were standing just outside the Hexside library, about to go in and meet her.

Amity squared her shoulders, then nodded to Luz, who pushed open the door. It was a Saturday afternoon and the weather outside was nice, so the library was fairly deserted. Amity was grateful for that - she didn’t particularly want an audience for this conversation.

They found Willow sitting on one of the window seats between the shelves. It was a secluded spot - perfect for a private conversation.

“Hi,” Luz said as they approached.

“Hi, Luz,” Willow said. “Amity,” she added, her gaze cool as she regarded her former friend.

“Hi, Willow,” Amity said quietly, trying and failing to meet her gaze.

“I’m just gonna browse for a bit while you guys talk, ok?” Luz said. Then, giving Amity’s shoulder a little squeeze of encouragement, she left them to it. Amity tried to ignore how the physical contact made her heart speed up.

Now she was alone with Willow. Amity wasn’t sure what to do next.

“Sit,” Willow said, motioning to the chair she’d drawn up next to the window seat.

Amity sat.

"So," Willow said, "Luz says you have something you want to tell me."

Amity shifted uncomfortably in her seat. "I do," she said. "I wanted to talk to you about what happened four years ago. About… why I did what I did."

"You mean, why you stopped being my friend, bullied me, and had me moved to a different room?" Willow asked archly, one eyebrow raised.

Amity felt her cheeks redden with shame. "Yeah. That," she said, looking down at her hands in her lap. 

"Okay," Willow said. "I promised Luz I would hear you out, so… go ahead. Talk."

So Amity did. She told Willow what she'd told Luz - that her mother had pressured her to end the friendship, for the good of her future career. That she didn’t want to do it, but she hadn’t been brave enough or strong enough to say no.

"I'm so sorry, Willow," Amity said when she had finished. "I never wanted to hurt you, but I did. All because it was easier than standing up to my own mother." She held Willow’s gaze, hoping the other girl could see in her eyes how sorry she was. "I wish I could go back and do things differently. I regret it every day."

Amity sighed, looking down at a spot on the carpet near Willow’s feet. "I don't expect you to forgive me," she said. "I just… wanted you to know what happened. And that it didn't have anything to do with you. You were the best friend I could have ever hoped for."

There. She’d said everything she wanted to say. If she kept going any longer there was a good chance she'd start crying, and she didn't want that. She didn’t want to make this apology about her feelings. 

Willow was silent for a long time. Amity waited, unsure if she should stay or go.

"I don't forgive you," Willow said eventually. Amity nodded. It was what she had expected, but she couldn’t help feeling a small stab of disappointment at Willow’s words. 

"Not yet," Willow continued. "But I'm willing to give you another chance. A chance to prove that you aren't that person anymore - that if something like this were to happen again, you'd do the right thing this time."

It was more than Amity had dared to hope for. Dangerously close to tears now, all she could manage was to nod and choke out a muffled “thank you” in response.

Willow left shortly after that. Amity stayed where she was, until Luz found her.

  
  


***

  
  


_Come on, it’s just a triple pirouette. You can do this!_

Luz took a calming breath to center herself, then prepared. _Working leg to second, fourth, relevé, bring the arm in, spot. One, two… ugh!_

Luz groaned as she fell out of the turn. She’d been improving rapidly in her classes over the last couple of weeks, but she still struggled with turning quickly enough. She’d never had problems with pirouettes before, but the tempos at Hexside were much faster than what she was used to back home, and she was finding it difficult to fit the required number of rotations into the available music.

So here she was, at 6 am on a Wednesday morning, practicing pirouettes in an empty studio instead of getting an extra hour’s sleep before a busy day of dancing. At least she’d managed to sneak out without waking Amity up.

Luz sighed in frustration. _Why can’t I get this right?! I’m so much faster at everything else now - I should be able to do this too! Why is it so hard?_

She decided to take a quick water break, and headed over to the side of the studio where she’d left her things. Suddenly, she caught a flash of movement out of the corner of her eye, and whipped her head around to see Amity standing in the doorway.

“Woah, you gave me a fright!” Luz exclaimed, pressing a hand to her chest. “How long have you been standing there?” she asked, grabbing her bottle and taking a long swig of water.

“Not long,” Amity said. “When I woke up and you weren’t there, I suspected you might be down here. I thought maybe I’d come check on you… see if you needed any help.”

She said the words shyly, as if she was worried she might be overstepping. But Luz wasn’t about to refuse an offer of help, especially not an offer from the best dancer at Hexside. And she thought it was really sweet of Amity, to come down here and check on her when she could have been sleeping instead.

Luz smiled at her. “I’d love some help,” she said. “I’m still really struggling with turning quickly. I have no problem with slower pirouettes, but increase the speed and I just can’t land them.”

Amity nodded. “I saw that you’ve been struggling with them in class. You’re doing so well with everything else now, though - it’s really impressive how far you’ve come in such a short time. I think even Lilith is impressed.”

Luz blushed at the compliment. She knew it was true - she _had_ adapted very quickly, and her teachers _were_ noticing, but somehow it meant more coming from Amity.

“Thanks,” she said. “I’m still nowhere near as good as you, though.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure of that,” Amity said, with a wry smile. “With the way you’re going, you’ll be passing me up for top student in no time.”

Luz laughed incredulously. “Yeah, right. Whatever you say, Blight.”

They smiled at each other, and for a moment, Luz forgot why they were there. 

Amity remembered first. “Anyway, about your pirouettes…” she said, effectively breaking whatever early morning spell they’d been under.

“Oh, right. Those.”

“I think I have something that might help. It’s a little trick I’ve learned. If you stay in your plié longer, and start the rotation before you’re fully in relevé, you’ll get around faster.”

Luz frowned, considering. It made sense, she supposed, and a deeper, longer plié would help to propel her around more quickly.

“Okay,” she said, “I’ll give it a try.”

Luz walked back to her starting position in front of the mirror, and Amity watched as she practiced another turn. She managed a triple, although the landing wasn’t as clean as she would have liked.

“That was better,” Amity said, “But try staying in plié even longer.”

Luz began her preparation for the turn once more, brow furrowed in concentration. _Remember, your power comes from your plié._ _Start to rotate before you’re fully in relevé, and really push the floor away as you rise up!_

Whipping her head around as she turned, Luz counted each time she spotted her reflection in the mirror. _One… two… three!_

She landed the triple in a perfect fourth position.

“Amity, did you see?!” Luz squealed excitedly. “I did it!”

Amity smiled at her, clearly pleased. “I saw. Now, show me again so we can make sure it’s not a fluke, and then I think we should probably head back upstairs.”

Luz performed another successful triple, and was so pleased with herself that she ran over and gave Amity a big, sweaty hug in celebration.

“Thanks, Amity!” she exclaimed. “You’re the best.”

“Okay, okay,” Amity said, laughing as she halfheartedly tried to fend Luz off. “All I did was give you one tip.”

“But it made all the difference,” Luz said, releasing her. She suddenly felt a little embarrassed - Amity wasn’t really a touchy feely person, and she probably shouldn’t have just hugged her like that. Especially given how sweaty she was after almost an hour of dancing.

_Oh God, what if I smell?!_

Luz smiled sheepishly, hoping that her natural exuberance hadn’t caused an awkward moment between them. “I’ll just grab my stuff, and then we can head back up,” she said. “I need to shower before breakfast.”

Amity, kindly, did not say anything about just how badly Luz needed that shower.

  
  


***

  
  


“Amity!”

Amity turned at the sound of her mother’s voice, and waved at Boscha and Skara to go on ahead without her. It was just after Pointe class, and the three of them had been on their way to lunch.

Amity had been slowly drifting away from Boscha and Skara over the past couple of weeks, but she still ate meals with them. Luz always sat with Willow and Gus, and although Willow had agreed to give Amity another chance, Amity knew that it was too soon to try and join their group. And while she wasn’t a huge fan of Boscha, she liked Skara well enough.

“Yes, Mom?” Amity asked.

Odalia hurried down the hall towards her. “Amity, dear, come here a minute. I need to speak to you about something.”

Her mother’s words tied Amity’s stomach in anxious knots. Did Odalia know about her friendship with Luz? About the conversation with Willow?

“I was just heading to lunch,” she protested weakly.

“This will only take a minute.”

Odalia caught up to her and, taking her by the forearm, led her back down the hall until they found an empty studio to duck into. All the while, Amity’s sense of foreboding increased. She was in trouble, she just knew it.

But for once, her intuition was wrong. When they were alone, with the studio door closed behind them, her mother turned to her with the widest smile Amity had ever seen.

“Darling, you won’t believe what I’ve just heard! Two of the _corps de ballet_ girls are out with injuries, and Belos is going to pick two Advanced students to fill their spots for Nutcracker!”

Amity blinked in surprise. Belos was going to be looking for students to dance with the company in the upcoming season of _The Nutcracker_? Had she heard that right?

“He’s going to be observing classes next week,” Odalia continued, “So make sure you’re at the top of your game, darling. Oh, this is so exciting!”

A slow smile spread across Amity’s face as the full meaning of her mother’s words sunk in. She imagined herself, on stage in a beautiful costume, performing with the National Ballet Company. It was what she’d been dreaming of.

And if she was chosen, she’d be almost guaranteed to get her apprenticeship at the end of the year, provided she performed well.

She had to make sure she was one of the two people Belos picked.

Her mother excused herself and hurried off, saying something about needing to get back to her desk. Amity wasn’t really listening. She was too busy digesting the information she’d just been given.

_Two girls, she said. They need two girls for Nutcracker._

Amity absolutely wanted to be one of the two girls chosen. And she knew, without even having to think about it, exactly who she wanted the other girl to be.

_Luz. She wants a spot in the company as much as I do, and she deserves this. Plus, it would mean we’d get to spend more time together._

The thought made her blush. Since her epiphany a little over a week ago, she’d mostly been trying to avoid thinking about her growing feelings for Luz - although the other girl certainly didn’t make it easy for her. They lived together, after all, and Luz was just… constantly being her adorable self. 

Seriously, though, did she have to be _so_ adorable, _all_ the time?! It was like she was _trying_ to kill Amity!

But Amity was determined to get over this crush. She knew that Luz couldn't possibly reciprocate her feelings, and she didn’t want to make things weird between them and ruin their friendship. 

Even so, she couldn’t deny that there was no one she’d rather share this experience with. 

_It would almost certainly bring us closer. Which is what I want, even if it's just as friends._

So. She wanted it to be her and Luz. Now, how to make sure they were the ones chosen? Amity knew that she was an obvious choice. Belos had seen her dance on numerous occasions. Luz, however? Not so much. Although Amity considered Luz to be an incredible dancer, she had to admit that as a new student, Luz was an unknown quantity. She’d really need to impress Belos if she was going to be picked.

Amity pondered for a moment whether or not to tell Luz that Belos would be coming to watch them dance, but decided that it might be better not to. She didn’t want to make Luz nervous. 

No, instead Amity would focus on helping Luz to improve her technique. She had no doubt that Belos would be impressed by her roommate’s natural artistry, but, although Luz’s pirouettes had already begun to improve after their session this morning, she wasn’t quite where she needed to be yet.

_I’ll ask her if she wants to practice together in the mornings. I can help her hone her technique - make sure it's as good as it possibly can be. We don't have much time, but she progresses so quickly. I’m sure she’ll have made a noticeable improvement by the time Belos comes in to watch us next week._

With her course of action decided, Amity headed off to lunch.

  
  


***

  
  


The first time it happened was on Tuesday morning.

Luz was in Technique class, and they were just finishing up barre. Lilith was explaining the développé combination, while Luz and the other students marked the movements. It was a typical morning class - nothing out of the ordinary.

Until Director Belos walked in.

Luz had never actually seen the Artistic Director of the National Ballet Company in person before, although she’d seen plenty of photographs. He was a tall, imposing man, with severe-looking features. He’d been a world famous dancer back in his day, before becoming the head of the most prestigious ballet company in the country. The company that Luz dreamed of joining.

This was the man who was going to decide her entire future. And now here he was, in the studio, watching her dance.

Luz did her best to ignore her racing heart and the butterflies in her stomach. She knew she needed to put Belos’ presence out of her mind entirely, and just focus on her dancing. But it was easier said than done.

Her eyes sought out Amity, one barre over. Amity met her gaze, and gave her a reassuring smile.Luz clung to it like an anchor.

_Don’t overthink it. You can do this._

Lilith finished her explanation, and gave the pianist the signal to begin. Luz focused all of her attention on performing the combination to the best of her abilities, emptying her mind of everything but her mental checklist of things to work on.

_Hip down, remember the turnout, push through the supporting leg, don’t collapse into the hip._

Luz repeated the familiar corrections as she extended her leg to the side in développé á la seconde, her foot reaching higher than her head as she put her flexibility and strength to good use. She knew she had higher extensions than most of the other girls in her class. 

Lilith walked by, assessing her form. “Good, Luz,” she said.

Luz hoped that Belos was watching her.

Belos stayed until the end of class. Luz got used to his presence after a while, although she felt her nerves returning when Lilith had them do a tricky pirouette combination in centre. Her pirouettes had been improving, but she still found them difficult. 

Luz glanced to her left, and found Amity trying to catch her gaze. _You can do it,_ Amity mouthed. Luz gave her the tiniest nod in return.

She and Amity had been training together most mornings for the past week, and Luz had found their sessions incredibly helpful. She’d made a ton of progress - more than she’d achieved during any of her previous weeks at Hexside.

_Remember all the tips she’s given you. Just do what you do in practice, and you’ll be fine._

Luz began the combination, doing her best to pretend that it was just her and Amity, and this was just one of their morning practice sessions.

Her turns were the best they’d ever been.

On Thursday, it happened again. Belos showed up during Variations class, and stayed for about twenty minutes. Luz noticed that he didn’t stay long enough to watch every student perform the variation they were working on, but that she and Amity were both among those he did watch.

Luz was beginning to wonder if something was up. She debated asking Amity if she knew anything, but figured Amity probably wouldn’t know any more than she did.

On Friday after Pointe class, Lilith pulled Amity and Luz aside.

“I’d like you girls to please come with me,” she said, her tone giving nothing away. “There’s something I need to speak to you about.”

Luz glanced at Amity nervously, but her friend didn’t seem to share her apprehension. Instead, Amity had a look on her face that Luz could only describe as quietly triumphant.

_Does she know something I don’t know?_

There was no opportunity to ask her. Lilith was already leading them out of the studio.

Amity and Luz followed her down the hall to one of the offices. When Lilith opened the door and motioned for them to enter, Luz was surprised to see that both the school’s director, Bump, and Director Belos were inside.

_What is going on? I’m not being kicked out, am I?!_

_No, wait. Amity’s here too, and they’d never kick_ her _out._

_But if we’re not in trouble, then why are we here?_

“Please sit, girls,” Bump said once they’d come in and Lilith had closed the door behind them. “Director Belos has something he’d like to speak to you about.”

Luz and Amity sat. Luz tried her hardest not to fidget nervously.

“Hello Luz, Amity,” Belos greeted them. “Nice to properly meet you both. Now, you may have noticed me coming to observe some of your classes this week. I had an important reason for doing so, beyond just getting acquainted with this year’s crop of Advanced students.”

Belos paused, regarding them from across the table. Luz hoped she didn’t look as terrified as she felt. “I’m sure you’re aware,” he continued, “That the company is about to start rehearsals for our upcoming season of Nutcracker. It’s one of our most popular ballets, and we perform it every year to packed audiences. This year, however, two of our company members are out with injuries, and I’m short by two female dancers.” 

This couldn’t possibly mean what she thought it did. Could it?

“The two of you impressed me in class this week,” Belos continued, “And I have decided to cast you both in Nutcracker. You will be dancing in Snow and Flowers, with the rest of the _corps de ballet_.”

Apparently, it could. Luz had to pinch herself to make sure she wasn’t dreaming.

_Me, perform in Nutcracker with the National Ballet Company? Is he kidding me?!_

“Thank you, sir, for the opportunity,” Luz heard Amity say, as if from a distance. Amity had found her voice much more quickly than Luz, who was still recovering from the shock of Belos’ announcement.

“Yes, thank you so much,” Luz managed.

“You girls are excused from your Hexside classes for the duration of Nutcracker,” Lilith said. “Starting from Monday, you will take class and rehearse with the company.”

“Here are your rehearsal schedules,” Belos added, handing them each a sheet of paper. “Company class is at 10 am every morning in Studio One.”

They were dismissed after that. Exiting the office, they found themselves alone in an empty hallway, their fellow students having already gone to lunch. 

Luz was still reeling from everything that had just happened. “Amity!” she exclaimed in hushed tones. “Can you believe it? We’re going to perform in Nutcracker! With the company!”

Amity smiled back at her. “It really is amazing,” she said.

Even as excited as she was, it didn’t escape Luz’s attention that Amity’s reaction was much more subdued than she would have expected. In fact, she seemed entirely too calm about this.

“Did you know?” Luz asked, narrowing her eyes at her friend. “You don’t seem all that surprised.”

Amity blushed, looking like she’d been caught out. “I didn’t know it would be us, but I did know that Belos was looking for two students to cast,” she admitted. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, but I was worried you’d be more nervous if you knew.”

Luz had to admit that Amity’s assessment was probably correct. She would almost certainly have been way more freaked out by Belos’ presence in class if she’d known.

“Wait a minute,” she said, remembering their daily practice sessions. “Was that why you wanted to train together every morning?”

“Yeah,” Amity admitted. “I knew he would be observing classes this week, and I wanted to make sure we’d both be ready. I was… I was hoping it would be the two of us. That he chose.”

Luz couldn’t help herself. She hugged Amity, squeezing her so tightly that she actually lifted the slightly shorter girl off the ground. “Oh Amity, you’re the best!” she exclaimed. “Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you!”

When she finally set Amity down, the other girl’s cheeks were even redder than they’d been before.

_Uh-oh, did I embarrass her? I’ve really got to stop just hugging people like this!_

“You go on ahead to lunch,” Luz said, smiling brightly at Amity. “I’ve got to call my mom!”

_And Eda, and then I’ve got to tell Willow and Gus… and oh my god, I still can’t believe this is happening!_

Luz was pretty sure she’d need to pinch herself a few more times before she could be absolutely certain that all of this was real, and not just some fantastical dream. She’d only been at Hexside for a month or so, and now she was going to dance with the company in Nutcracker!

She’d been given an unbelievable opportunity. And Amity had helped her get it.

Luz’s roommate really was something special.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woohoo, things are happening for our girls!
> 
> I'm really looking forward to writing the next few chapters as I've got some fun stuff planned :)


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rehearsals for The Nutcracker begin. Luz convinces Amity to attend a Halloween party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year! This chapter was slightly delayed because of the holidays, and the next chapter might be as well, but I'm hoping to get it up before I go back to work on 11 Jan.

When Amity and Luz entered the studio for their first company class on Monday morning, the first person Amity saw was Emira.

“Hey, it’s Mittens!” Emira called cheerfully, waving at them from her spot by one of the barres.

Amity groaned, feeling her face flush with embarrassment. She couldn’t believe her sister had just used her childish nickname for Amity in front of the whole company.

_And in front of Luz!_

In her excitement, she’d almost forgotten that doing Nutcracker with the company would mean spending _a lot_ more time with her brother and sister, who could absolutely be counted on to torment her with their incessant teasing. That, or she’d been ignoring it on purpose.

“Mittens? That’s cute,” Luz said, shooting Amity a cheeky grin.

“What are you guys doing here?” Emira asked.

“Yeah, and who’s your friend, Mittens?” Edric added, walking over to them.

Amity sighed. “This is Luz. Luz, meet Edric and Emira. My older brother and sister, although if you ask me, they still act like children,” she said, directing the last bit at her siblings with a glare.

"Aww, you love it," Emira said. 

Amity rolled her eyes. “Luz and I are here because Belos needed a couple of students for Nutcracker, and he asked us to do it.”

"Hey, that’s awesome!” Emira said. “Congrats on getting picked. Here, let me introduce you to everyone!" 

She dragged Amity over to a shorter dancer with brown hair and an unusual fish hook earring, who was warming up at a nearby barre. "This is Viney, and that's Jerbo," she said, gesturing to a tall male dancer who was at the barre near Viney. "Guys, this is my sister Amity, or Mittens as we like to call her, and her friend Luz. They're Hexside students, but they’ll be joining us for Nutcracker."

"Hey," Viney said, giving them an obligatory wave. Jerbo nodded in acknowledgement.

Luz waved back with her usual enthusiasm. "Nice to meet you!" she said, smiling brightly.

Then the ballet master walked into the studio, interrupting Emira’s introductions. Everyone immediately returned to their barres, while Amity and Luz hunted for a free spot. They eventually found spaces towards the back of the class.

Amity’s stomach fluttered with uncharacteristic nerves. Here, she wasn’t Hexside’s top student. She would need to prove herself all over again.

But as the class progressed, Amity found herself relaxing into the familiar routine. Company class wasn't all that different from their classes at Hexside, with the notable exception that the ballet master did not give the dancers any corrections. Amity found it strange, although she supposed that for the company dancers, this class served as a warmup for the day ahead, rather than a learning experience. 

It _was_ wonderful getting to watch professional dancers take class. Amity relished the opportunity to learn from them. This firsthand experience of company life wasn’t something that could be taught at school, and she was determined to make the most of the opportunity she’d been given.

Class was over at 11.30, and then Luz and Amity were free until after lunch. At 1.30, they walked into their first Nutcracker rehearsal, and it immediately became clear that they’d had no idea what they were in for.

Talk about being thrown in the deep end. Everything moved so fast! There was no time to properly learn each section of choreography before they were moving on to the next thing. It was overwhelming.

Amity could see that Luz was struggling just as much as she was, but the company dancers seemed to have no problem at all with the fast pace. Clearly, they were used to it.

_This is your moment to sink or swim,_ she realized. Belos was testing her and Luz. He needed to know that they could learn quickly. Rehearsal periods were often short, and if a dancer got injured right before a performance then someone else would need to take their place, potentially having to learn a new role in just a few days.

This was her opportunity to prove to Belos that she had what it took to dance in his company, and she wasn’t about to let herself screw it up. She could do this - she’d just have to work harder until she got the hang of things.

Amity glanced over at Luz again, and a look of understanding passed between them. _They_ could do this. They’d practice together, they’d help each other out, and they would be just fine.

  
  


***

  
  


The month of October seemed to fly by in a blur of rehearsals and company classes, and before Luz knew it, it was almost Halloween. 

“Hey Amity?” she asked one evening as they were icing their feet after a long day of rehearsal, “You going to the Halloween party on Saturday?”

Every year, the Hexside students organized a Halloween party in the dorms. Willow had told Luz about it when they met for lunch a few days ago.

“I wasn’t planning to,” Amity said. “I don’t usually go to those kinds of things.”

She didn’t say it, but the meaning was implicit: _I don’t go because no one wants me there._

It made Luz sad, knowing how much Amity had isolated herself. But things were different now. She had Luz, to encourage her to come out of her shell and try new things.

“Well, _I’m_ going,” Luz said. “I love Halloween! I’ve already got my costume and everything. And you should come too. It’ll be fun!”

_I want you to come. Please come._

Amity didn’t look convinced. “Won’t Willow be there?” she asked.

“Yeah,” Luz said, “But isn’t that a good thing? She did say she was willing to give you another chance.”

Amity dropped her gaze. “She did, but we’ve been so busy with rehearsals that I haven’t really seen or spoken to her since then.”

“Then this is the perfect opportunity!” Luz exclaimed, finding her angle. “It’s a big group situation, so it’ll be low pressure. There will be plenty of other people to act as a buffer between the two of you, myself and Gus included.”

Amity seemed to be considering Luz’s words. Luz waited, ready to do more convincing if need be. She really wanted Amity to attend this party with her. She knew she’d have more fun if Amity was there, and she wanted Amity to have fun as well. The two of them had been working incredibly hard lately, spending eight hours a day in class and rehearsals and then squeezing in practice sessions during their limited free time. They deserved to let loose a little.

“Okay,” Amity said eventually, with a small smile that made Luz’s heart flutter. “I’ll go. But I don’t have a costume.”

“Hey, that’s not a problem,” Luz said eagerly, thrilled that Amity had agreed. “I can go with you to get one! We don’t have a late rehearsal tomorrow, so we could go in the evening if you want to?”

Amity nodded. “That sounds good,” she said. “Thanks, Luz.”

And there was that shy smile again. For some reason, it made Luz’s face feel warm.

  
  


***

  
  


After an early dinner the next evening, Luz and Amity headed downtown to get Amity a Halloween costume. It was Luz’s first time riding the subway, and she almost certainly would have gotten lost without Amity, who luckily knew which train they needed to take.

The first store they visited mostly had kid’s costumes and only a limited selection of costumes for adults, so they moved on pretty quickly. There was another costume shop nearby, where Luz hoped they might have better luck.

“Any idea what you want to dress up as?” Luz asked Amity as they were walking.

“I don’t know, probably just a witch or something,” Amity replied. “What’s your costume?” she asked.

Luz smiled. “That’s a surprise. You’ll have to wait until Saturday to find out!”

Amity rolled her eyes. “Only you would be so mysterious about a Halloween costume.”

“I _am_ one of a kind,” Luz countered playfully.

For some reason, Amity blushed.

Before Luz could figure out what it was that had made Amity feel embarrassed, they arrived at their destination. She quickly forgot about the blush as they began going through the racks and racks of Halloween costumes. This store had a much better range of costumes than the last one, and Luz was sure they would be able to find something here.

“Hey Amity, what do you think?” Luz asked, holding up a witch costume she’d found.

Amity flushed scarlet. “It’s, uh, a little short, don’t you think?” she squeaked.

Luz looked at the costume again. She guessed it was somewhat revealing, but it wasn’t scandalous. “I don’t think it’s that bad…” she said.

“Well, I don’t like it,” Amity said. “Can we find a witch costume that’s a bit less… sexy?”

She said the word 'sexy' like it pained her. Luz suppressed an amused smile. She wouldn’t have expected Amity to be so awkward about this sort of thing. It was kind of cute, actually.

“Okay, we’ll keep looking,” she said.

A few minutes later, Luz held up another costume for Amity’s inspection. “How’s this?” she asked.

Amity grimaced. Luz couldn’t blame her - the ‘evil witch’ costume she’d found consisted of a fairly unflattering high-necked, floor-length black dress. But hey, at least Amity couldn’t complain that it wasn’t modest.

“Any chance of finding a happy medium?” Amity asked.

They searched for about ten more minutes, until at last Amity found what she was looking for - a cute witch costume that wasn’t too revealing.

“Want a broomstick to go with that?” Luz asked, holding up a decidedly child-sized broomstick. Amity just rolled her eyes, but she couldn’t quite hide her amused smile.

Luz liked making Amity smile.

They paid for the costume and left the shop, walking back towards the subway station.

When they were a couple blocks away from the costume shop, Luz spotted a familiar green and white sign. “Oh hey, a Starbucks!” she exclaimed, making a beeline for the entrance. “Want a drink? My treat,” she asked over her shoulder as she approached the door and stepped inside.

Amity followed her, and the two of them got in line. It was fairly busy for 8pm on a Wednesday.

Luz glanced up at the board, although she already knew exactly what she was going to get. “It’s not really autumn until I’ve had my first Pumpkin Spice latte,” she said to Amity, who gave her a blank look in return. 

“Don’t you like Pumpkin Spice lattes?” Luz asked.

Amity made a face. “Can’t say I’ve ever tried one.”

Luz gasped, eyes wide in mock horror. “Amity! We need to remedy that right away!” she exclaimed.

“Do we, though?” Amity protested. “Aren’t they like, really sugary?”

“Yeah, that’s kind of the whole point. You gotta try it though - it’s an iconic fall flavor!”

Amity didn’t look convinced. “Luz, we’re dancers. We shouldn’t be drinking sugary beverages.”

“Aww, once won’t kill us. Come on Amity, live a little!”

Amity sighed. “Okay,” she said, with a resigned smile. “Just this once. And only because I know you won’t stop pestering me until I try one.”

Luz laughed. “You know me well. But I promise you won’t regret it.”

When it was their turn, Luz ordered two Pumpkin Spice lattes. They collected their drinks, and she watched eagerly as Amity took her first sip.

“Sweet!” Amity exclaimed, pursing her lips. She took another cautious sip. “It’s a nice enough flavor, I guess. But it’s just so sweet!”

“You’ll get used to it,” Luz said, happily sipping away at her own drink.

Amity pulled out her phone to check the time. “We’d better hurry if we want to make the next train,” she said. “It leaves in ten minutes.”

They took their drinks and headed out, walking back to the subway station that would take them back to Hexside. Luz noticed that, for all her protests, Amity drank every last drop of her Pumpkin Spice latte.

_I guess she did like it, after all._

  
  


***

  
  


It was cute how much Luz liked Halloween.

She’d been excited for it all week, and some of that excitement had even managed to rub off on Amity, who actually found herself looking forward to the party tonight. 

Well, she was looking forward to it a little bit. She was still somewhat apprehensive about going to a big school event. But Luz had asked her to, and Amity was finding it very hard to say no to Luz these days.

Plus, the fact that Luz really wanted her to be there felt… good. Even if Luz would never show romantic interest in her, it was clear that she valued Amity as a friend.

That was enough. It would have to be.

“Should I wear my costume to class?” Luz asked, as they were getting ready.

“ _No,_ ” Amity said, laughing. “Save it for tonight.”

She still had no idea what Luz’s costume was. Her roommate had staunchly refused to tell her, insisting that it was a surprise. Amity thought it was a little unfair, given that Luz had been with her when she’d bought her costume and therefore knew exactly what it was, but she wasn’t too bothered by it. She even found herself kind of enjoying the suspense.

They had a full day of class and rehearsals ahead of them. When Luz and Amity arrived at company class, Amity realized that, much to her annoyance, both of her siblings were wearing cat ears. They also had tails, and they’d drawn whiskers on their faces.

“Aww, cool!” Luz exclaimed, running over to Emira. “I wanted to wear a costume to class, but Amity said I shouldn’t.”

“Aww well, you know Mittens,” Emira said, flashing Amity a teasing grin. “She’s no fun.”

Amity found it extremely irritating how well Luz got along with her siblings. Edric and Emira couldn’t seem to resist teasing Amity during class, and while Luz didn’t exactly join in, it was still embarrassing.

Amity knew that her siblings weren’t trying to be mean - their teasing was good-natured and they never said anything cruel. It was just the way they were. 

She still wished they would stop doing it in front of Luz, though. And the other company members. How was she ever supposed to be taken seriously as a dancer if her brother and sister called her ‘Mittens’ all the time?!

Class got underway, and the day passed by without incident. Luz and Amity finished their final rehearsal for the evening with just enough time to grab a quick dinner before they needed to get ready for the party.

As they headed up to their room to get changed, Amity had to admit that she was definitely looking forward to seeing Luz’s costume.

_Whatever it is, I bet she looks really cute in it._

Amity took her costume to the bathroom, leaving Luz to change in their dorm room. She put it on quickly, then regarded herself in the mirror. The costume _was_ pretty cute: a fitted black bodice with a high lace neckline and short sleeves, and a poofy black skirt. The skirt was a bit shorter than Amity would have liked, but it wasn’t nearly as short as some of the other costumes she’d seen. 

Amity pulled on the elbow-length black gloves that had come with the costume, and adjusted the witch’s hat on her head. Gazing at her face in the mirror, she considered whether to put on any makeup, ultimately deciding that a little mascara and lipstick wouldn’t go amiss.

_It’s just to make me look more witchy. Not because I want to look nice for Luz._

Amity applied some mascara and a dark red lip, and then deemed her preparations complete. She’d left her hair loose around her shoulders, which seemed to work fine.

Returning to their room, Amity made sure to knock before entering. She thought she’d die of embarrassment if she accidentally walked in on Luz changing.

“Come in!” Luz said. “I’m ready.”

Amity opened the door to reveal Luz, dressed in an extremely accurate Azura costume. Her robe, hat and staff looked exactly like the ones Azura was pictured wearing on the front covers of the novels, and she even wore a green wig. The effect was rather spectacular.

“Ta da!” Luz exclaimed. “What do you think?”

“It looks amazing,” Amity said, admiring it. “Where did you get such a detailed costume? I’ve never even seen an Azura costume before.”

“I made it,” Luz explained. “Well, the robe and the hat, anyway. With some help from my mom. She taught me how to sew when I was younger, although this was definitely the most ambitious thing I’ve ever made.”

“Wow,” Amity said. “It looks incredible. You did a great job.”

The costume really did look very well made. Amity was seriously impressed. She’d never sewn anything in her life, and wouldn’t have had the first clue where to start if she’d wanted to make something like this.

“Thank you,” Luz said. “You look great, too. That costume really suits you.”

Amity could feel her face heating up, although she tried not to read too much into Luz’s words.

_She’s just complimenting her friend._

“Thanks,” she said, a little awkwardly. “Anyway, should we get going? The party started at eight, didn’t it?” It was about twenty past eight now.

“Yes, let’s go!” Luz said. They grabbed their things and exited the room, locking the door behind them.

  
  


***

  
  


The party was being held in Hexside’s common room. When Luz and Amity arrived, the space was still relatively empty, even though they were almost half an hour late. 

Luz spotted Willow and Gus right away. Her friends were on the other side of the room, standing by a long table on which an assortment of snacks and drinks were laid out.

“Let’s go say hi,” Luz said. She’d been missing Willow and Gus lately - her current schedule meant that she didn’t see nearly as much of them as she used to.

“Okay,” Amity agreed. Luz could tell that she was nervous - she and Willow had spent barely any time together since Amity’s apology, after all - but she set her jaw in determination and followed Luz as they made their way across the room.

Luz had to admire Amity’s bravery. She’d pushed past her fear to apologize to Willow, and she was still determined to try and make things right, even if it meant stepping outside of her comfort zone.

She gave Amity a reassuring smile as they approached Willow and Gus, then turned to greet her friends. “Hey guys!” Luz said. “Nice costumes.” Gus was dressed as Spiderman, and Willow as Poison Ivy.

“You too,” Willow said. “Actually, what _are_ you supposed to be?”

“I’m Azura from the Good Witch Azura series!” Luz exclaimed proudly, brandishing her staff. “It’s my favorite book series. Amity’s, too,” she said, turning to Amity, who gave Willow and Gus a little wave hello.

“Hey Amity,” Willow said.

“Nice witch costume,” Gus added.

Both Willow and Gus were smiling pleasantly, and Luz could sense some of the tension leaving Amity. So far, so good.

“How are rehearsals going?” Willow asked. “It feels like ages since I’ve seen you.”

When Luz had told her friends about _The Nutcracker,_ she’d been a little worried that Willow would be jealous, since she wasn’t one of the two girls picked. But Willow had been nothing but happy for her. She’d told Luz that she wasn’t sure she actually wanted to dance with the National Ballet Company, and that she thought she might prefer to join a smaller company. Luz had been incredibly relieved that her good fortune hadn’t resulted in a strain on their friendship.

“They’re going pretty well, I think,” Luz said. “The first few weeks I was so exhausted and sore, but I think I’m starting to get the hang of the schedule now. What about you, Amity?” she asked, wanting to make sure that her roommate was included in the conversation.

“They are going well,” Amity said. “We’ve learned most of the choreography now, and it’s not as overwhelming as it was in the beginning.”

“Do you prefer Snow or Flowers?” Gus asked.

Luz said “Snow” at the same time as Amity said “Flowers.” They all laughed, and it helped to break the ice a little bit more.

“So,” Luz said, “What’s the plan for this party?”

“Well, we’ll play some party games a bit later on, once more people have arrived,” Willow said. “But mainly it’s just an excuse to dress up, hang out and eat candy.” She indicated the table behind her, on which there were several bowls of Halloween candy, as well as other snack foods.

“Don’t mind if I do,” Luz said, grabbing a piece from the nearest candy bowl.

The party got underway in earnest at around nine. Most of the students had arrived by that point, and they played a few games and put on some Halloween music. Luz found herself sticking close to Amity as the night progressed, wanting to make sure that her friend had a good time.

At one point, Amity left to use the bathroom. Luz was chatting with Willow when she came back, and she found her gaze drawn to Amity from across the room.

_She looks really cute in that costume,_ Luz thought as Amity made her way back over to them. Then, she turned her head to see Willow watching her, a considering expression on her face. Luz frowned in confusion.

_What’s she looking at?_

“Want to try the candy corn toss?” Willow asked, once Amity had reached them.

“I’m in,” Luz said. “What about you, Amity? Think you have what it takes to beat me?” 

“Oh, you’re on!” Amity replied. “And you’re going down, Noceda!”

“In your dreams, Blight!”

As the three of them headed over to the candy corn toss, Willow caught Luz’s eye and gave her a knowing smile.

_Okay, what is going on? She’s acting weird. Does she know something I don’t know?_

Luz put Willow’s strange behavior out of her mind and focused on the game, which was harder than it looked. Willow won the first round, and Amity the next two. By the time they stopped playing, Luz had won only one round and was forced to admit defeat.

“You’re surprisingly good at candy corn toss for someone who has never attended one of these parties before,” she said to Amity, narrowing her eyes in mock suspicion. “Have you been secretly practicing, or something?”

Amity just shrugged. “Beginner’s luck, I suppose.”

At 10pm, Boscha and Skara walked in, and Luz felt Amity tense beside her.

“You okay?” she asked quietly, turning to her friend.

“Yeah,” Amity said. “I just… don’t really feel like dealing with them right now.”

“Do you want to go?” Luz asked.

Amity frowned. “Maybe.”

“Okay, let’s go,” Luz said, already preparing to gather her things.

“What? No - you should stay. You’ve been having so much fun - you don’t have to leave just because I am,” Amity protested.

It wasn’t even a question in Luz’s mind. If Amity was ready to leave, then so was she. The party just wouldn’t be as much fun without her there.

Luz kept those thoughts to herself, afraid that she’d sound overly needy or clingy if she voiced them. She hadn’t had many successful friendships, and she didn’t want to ruin this one by revealing just how attached she’d become and scaring Amity away.

“No, it’s okay. I think I’ve had enough of this party. I’m ready to leave too,” she said instead.

Amity didn’t look completely convinced. “Okay, if you’re sure…”

“I’m sure. Let’s just find Willow and Gus and say goodbye.”

  
  


***

  
  


After bidding their friends farewell, Luz and Amity left the party and headed back to their shared room. 

“I’m, uh, going to go change,” Amity said, once they were inside. She’d had enough of wearing a costume, and just wanted to be comfortable.

“Oh yeah, good idea,” Luz said. “Do you want to get changed in here, or-?”

“I’ll go to the bathroom,” Amity said. “I don’t mind.” She grabbed her pajamas and her makeup remover and left the room. When she returned, Luz had also changed into pajamas.

“So… what now?” Luz asked. Amity had been wondering the same thing. It was getting late, but she didn’t really feel like going to sleep yet. And tomorrow was Sunday, their day off, so they didn’t need to be up early.

“I don’t know,” Amity said. “I’m not all that tired yet.”

“Me neither. We could watch something?” Luz suggested.

“Sure. Did you have anything in mind?” Amity asked. Luz usually did. After they’d watched _Spirited Away_ together, she’d shown Amity a few more Studio Ghibli movies, as well as some Disney films.

“Yeah, actually. I was thinking we could watch _Over the Garden Wall._ It’s a Halloween classic,” Luz said, holding up a DVD with a picture of two oddly dressed young boys on the front. Like everything Luz had shown her so far, it was animated.

“It’s a miniseries of ten short episodes, about the length of a movie in total,” Luz explained. “I think you’d really like it.”

“Okay,” Amity agreed. She’d liked everything Luz had shown her so far, and she had every confidence that she’d enjoy this as well. “Let’s watch it.”

They sat together on Luz’s bed. This time, Luz sat with her back against the headboard, her laptop resting on her legs. Self-consciously, Amity squeezed in beside her on the narrow single. Their arms were touching. She tried not to think about it.

Luz started the first episode, and Amity was instantly hooked. The show was an enticing combination of childlike whimsy and sinister spookiness, and, much like Luz, it constantly surprised her.

Amity felt herself relaxing into Luz more and more as the show went on, reveling in their closeness. She knew she shouldn’t - it was wrong to be encouraging these feelings of hers - but she couldn’t seem to help it. She’d tried ignoring how she felt, and that hadn’t worked. Over the past month, her feelings for Luz had only grown.

Amity looked away from the screen for a moment to gaze at Luz’s profile. This girl - this beautiful, warm, open-hearted girl - had brought so much happiness into her life in such a short period of time. How could she not fall for her?

Amity knew that this wasn’t just some little crush. She was falling in love with her roommate. And there didn’t seem to be anything she could do to stop it.

Even worse, she found that she didn’t want to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just really wanted to have them watch Over the Garden Wall :D


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The girls go home for Thanksgiving. Luz comes to a startling realization.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the longest chapter so far, and it's one that I've been looking forward to writing, so I hope you enjoy it!
> 
> Also, I think I've made it obvious enough, but if anyone gets confused about the background relationships in this chapter, please check the tags :)

The month of November flew by even faster than October had. Rehearsals for  _ The Nutcracker  _ ramped up in intensity as they got closer and closer to opening night, which was the day after Thanksgiving.

The schedule was punishing, and Luz’s muscles were more sore than they’d ever been. She also couldn’t help feeling a little disappointed that, since their first performance was the day after Thanksgiving, she wouldn’t be able to have the four-day weekend at home that she’d been looking forward to. Luz had Thanksgiving day off, and would take the train home in the morning to spend the day with her mother. However, she’d need to be on the train back to Hexside early the next morning, in order to arrive in time to take company class at ten.

Luz’s mother had of course been disappointed when Luz had told her about the change of plans, but she recognized the significance of Luz’s being cast in Nutcracker and was incredibly supportive of her. And Luz hadn’t lost sight of how lucky she was to have this opportunity, either. She was sure it would all be worth it the moment she stepped on stage, but it had been two and a half months since she’d last seen her mom, and she missed her. Twenty-four hours just wasn’t enough time.

Luckily, winter break wasn’t too far away. Luz just needed to survive Nutcracker first.

At least she had Amity, to vent to and commiserate with. Amity understood exactly what she was going through - well, maybe not the homesickness part, but certainly the exhaustion and the fear of failure. In the evenings, as they nursed their sore muscles and aching feet, they could talk freely about how tired they were and how much everything hurt. The rest of the time, they had to put on a brave face and make everything look effortless. That was what it meant to be a dancer - you could never show the audience how hard you were working. Neither Luz nor Amity had any doubt that their performance in class and rehearsals was being scrutinized and reported to Director Belos, so they always had to be at the top of their game.

Really, it was like being in one long, unending audition, and they wouldn’t even know whether they’d made it or not until June. The constant pressure was almost more mentally exhausting than the dancing was physically exhausting.

One evening, about a week before Thanksgiving, Luz was reflecting on the sacrifices that ballet demanded - the things she’d given up on in order to be able to dance. 

“Hey Amity?” she began, curious to know if the other girl had ever had similar thoughts, “Do you ever think about all the things you’ve missed out on, because of ballet?”

Amity looked up at Luz’s words. She seemed to be about to say something, but then changed her mind. Her face took on a thoughtful expression as she considered the question more fully. 

“I don’t think about it much,” she said eventually. “I guess this has always felt like the path I was supposed to take in life. It’s what my mom always wanted for me, and I watched my brother and sister do it, so it just seemed normal, I guess. But I know what you mean.” She paused, a small frown on her face as she collected her thoughts. “This  _ is  _ very different from the normal teenage experience, isn’t it? I mean, I’ve never even been to a real high school. I’ve been studying online since I was fourteen. And when I did go to school, my schedule was so busy that I barely made any friends. I could never go to birthday parties or play dates or anything, so eventually the other kids stopped inviting me.”

Luz nodded sympathetically. “Yeah, I never got invited to birthday parties either. Although that may have had less to do with ballet, and more to do with the fact that the other kids at school all thought I was weird.”

Amity blinked in surprise. “They thought you were weird? Why?” she asked, sounding almost… offended.

Luz shrugged. “I don’t know. I was really into fantasy novels, and I guess I could be pretty intense sometimes. There were a few book reports I did that were… a little over the top, to be honest.”

“Well, those kids clearly had terrible taste in people,” Amity said vehemently.

“Thanks,” Luz said, smiling sadly. She wasn’t sure she fully believed Amity, but she appreciated the sentiment. 

Since coming to Hexside and meeting her friends, Luz had hardly thought about the kids who had bullied her when she was younger. But now, the painful memories were resurfacing.

The silence stretched on for a few moments, until Amity broke it.

“I sometimes think about dyeing my hair green,” she said, seemingly out of nowhere.

Luz looked up at her in confusion. “You do?”

“Yeah, but I could never do it. Because of ballet.” Amity smiled wryly. “Can you imagine what Lilith would say if I came to class with green hair? To say nothing of what my mother would do to me if I pulled a stunt like that.”

Luz couldn’t help the laugh that burst out of her at the image her friend’s words conjured. If Amity had been trying to lighten the mood and snap Luz out of her funk, she’d certainly succeeded.

“I’d pay good money to see that, actually,” Luz said.

Amity smiled, looking pleased that she’d managed to cheer Luz up. “What about you?” she asked. “Have you ever wanted to dye your hair a crazy color?”

Luz thought about it. “I don’t think so… but I have always wanted to try a pixie cut,” she admitted. “Of course, my hair needs to be long enough to wear in a bun, so that was never an option.”

“I think you’d look cute with a pixie cut,” Amity said quietly, her cheeks faintly pink.

Luz smiled. “Thanks. For what it’s worth, I think green hair would look good on you. And I’d love to see Lilith’s face if you actually went through with it.”

Amity laughed. “My mother would probably kill me and I’d rather not take that risk, but thanks.”

Luz went to bed that evening with a light heart, secure in the knowledge that, while she might have felt alone and friendless in the past, things were different now. Here at Hexside, she’d made real friends who liked her just the way she was. She’d met Willow and Gus, and Amity.

_ Amity.  _

Who would have guessed, that first day, that the standoffish girl who’d introduced herself as Luz’s roommate would become her best friend, and that underneath that haughty exterior would be the sweetest person Luz had ever met? Certainly not Luz.

_ I’m so glad I caught her reading Azura that day. If I hadn’t, we might never have become friends, and I might never have known just how wonderful she is. _

  
  


***

  
  


Amity was  _ not  _ looking forward to Thanksgiving. 

She’d been dreading it all week, and now the day was finally upon her. As she packed her overnight bag, Amity contemplated the twenty-four hours of concentrated family time that she was about to face. It stretched before her - bleak and inescapable. At least the fact that she was in Nutcracker meant she could only stay for one night, instead of the entire four-day weekend. 

Amity grimaced as she thought back to last year’s Thanksgiving. Her mother had asked her whether she fancied any boys at the school, and Amity had frozen up like a deer in the headlights. Eventually, she’d managed to stammer out a reply about being too focused on her dancing for that sort of thing, to which Odalia had nodded seriously and said “That’s my girl. Plenty of time for boys later. Your career comes first.”

_ Oh, Mom. If only you knew. _

Luz had left for home already, taking the early morning train back to Bonesborough. Unlike Amity, she’d been looking forward to spending the day with her family.

As she continued packing, Amity realized that tonight would be the first night she and Luz had spent apart since the day Luz arrived at Hexside. Which shouldn’t be a big deal, but for some reason, it was.

Before Luz, Amity would have relished the opportunity to spend a night alone, away from her roommate. Now, though, the thought of going to sleep without Luz there just made her feel… lonely.

Luz had only been gone for a few hours, and Amity already missed her.

_ Pull yourself together, Blight! It’s just one night. You’ll see her again tomorrow. _

Pushing thoughts of Luz to one side, Amity concentrated on getting ready. Once she was satisfied that she had everything she needed, she texted her sister to let her know she was ready to go.

The reply came in quickly.

**Emira: Great! Us too. We’ll swing by your room on our way out.**

Amity sat down to wait, scrolling through her phone to pass the time. Opening Instagram, she saw that Luz had updated her Stories, and clicked on the little icon to view them. 

The first photo Luz had shared was a landscape shot, which she’d clearly taken while on the train. The second was a selfie of Luz with her mother.

Amity pressed her finger down on the screen, pausing the story as she gazed at the image, taking in every detail. Her crush was smiling widely, clearly happy to be home. She had her arm wrapped around her mother’s shoulders, and her hair was loose and wind-blown. The sight of her took Amity’s breath away.

A knock at the door announced Emira’s arrival. Amity hurriedly closed Instagram, feeling the heat rise in her cheeks. She was absurdly glad that Emira had knocked for once, instead of just barging in. It would have been awkward to try and explain why she was staring longingly at a picture of her roommate.

Slipping her phone into her pocket, she grabbed her bag and then headed for the door. When she opened it, she found double the amount of people she’d expected waiting for her on the other side.

Edric and Emira were both there, of course. What surprised her was that they also had Viney and Jerbo with them.

Amity looked at the two who weren’t her siblings in confusion. She’d spent enough time dancing with the company over the last couple of months to know that they were friends with the twins, but… were they coming to Thanksgiving dinner at her house? Why would Em and Ed want to subject them to that?

Emira caught her confused look. “Viney and Jerbo are coming with us,” she explained. “Jerbo is, uh, my boyfriend.”

“And Viney’s my girlfriend!” Edric added, jumping in almost before Emira had finished speaking.

Huh. Amity hadn’t really picked up on any romantic vibes between her brother and Viney, or between her sister and Jerbo for that matter. However, she had to admit that she probably hadn’t been paying that much attention.

“Congrats,” she said. “How long have you been dating?” She assumed both relationships had to be pretty new. As far as she was aware, her siblings had never brought anyone home with them to family events before.

“Not long,” Emira replied. “But these two live pretty far away and couldn’t go home for Thanksgiving, so we thought we’d invite them to ours instead.”

“Have you let them know what they’re in for?” Amity asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Of course,” Edric promised. “And it’s not like Mom is  _ that  _ bad. They can handle it, right guys?”

“I’m not worried,” Viney said. “I can almost guarantee that my family is worse.”

_ If you say so, _ Amity thought. Personally, she doubted that anyone could be more overbearing and controlling than Odalia Blight.

“Anyway, we’d better get going,” Emira reminded them. “Mom’s expecting us.”

The five of them headed down to the underground parking lot where Edric and Emira kept their car. Edric was driving and offered Jerbo the front seat, while the girls squeezed into the back. Amity was sandwiched between Emira and Viney, which she wasn’t thrilled about. She’d never been very comfortable with this sort of unwanted physical contact.

Fortunately, and also unfortunately, they didn’t have very far to travel. Her parents lived out in the suburbs, but their house was only about half an hour away from the city center and the holiday traffic wasn’t as bad as it could have been. Far too soon for Amity’s liking, they were passing through the front gates and heading down the long driveway, at the end of which lay the imposing Tudor Revival style mansion where she and her siblings had grown up.

Their mother was coming out of the front door before the car had even stopped. As always, she fussed over her children as if she hadn’t seen them in months, despite the fact that she literally worked in the same building and saw them all on a regular basis.

Edric and Emira introduced Viney and Jerbo, and Odalia latched on to them quickly, asking the two couples how they’d met and how long they’d been dating. Amity took advantage of the fact that her mother’s attention was occupied elsewhere, and made a beeline for her old bedroom. 

She didn’t see any sign of her father on her way, but that wasn’t unexpected. Alador Blight was almost certainly holed up in his study, hard at work on a case. Her dad’s career as a lawyer had always been more important to him than his children. He’d come out at dinnertime, make a cursory effort to appear interested in her and the twins’ lives, and then retreat back to his study for the rest of the evening. Just like always.

Amity sighed, taking a seat on the bed and glancing around her old room. She saw very little of herself in it. Almost everything had been picked out by her mother, from the floral bedspread to the pale pink walls, and the ballet posters adorning those walls. This room had never felt like  _ hers,  _ not really. It belonged to the Amity that her mother wanted her to be. The Amity she pretended to be.

Dwelling on such thoughts would only make her more miserable. To distract herself, Amity pulled out her phone. When she did, she saw that she had one unopened text message, and it was from Luz. Amity clicked on the message, heart speeding up at the sight of her crush’s name and the knowledge that Luz had been thinking about her.

**Luz: Hey Amity, happy Thanksgiving! Hope you’re having an ok time at home - I know you weren’t really looking forward to it. Just remember that I’m always here if you want to talk! :)**

Amity smiled, Luz’s words filling her with warmth and displacing some of the unhappiness she’d felt all morning. Immediately, she began to type a response.

  
  


***

  
  


Amity stayed in her room for about an hour. She and Luz had texted back and forth for a little while, but eventually Luz had had to say goodbye, explaining that she needed to go help her mother with the cooking. Amity certainly didn’t want to keep Luz from the family time she’d been so looking forward to, but her friend’s evident joy in being home only served to further emphasize the disconnect she felt from her own family. 

Amity spent as much time in her room as she thought she could get away with, but eventually she knew that she needed to make an appearance downstairs or risk her mother coming to look for her. So she’d headed back down, where she’d been put to work helping out in her own kitchen for a bit, along with Emira and Viney. Amity didn’t mind helping, but she did mind that Edric and Jerbo were not asked to help. As always, the double standard struck her as horribly sexist, but she didn’t feel like pointing it out and starting a fight.

When she wasn’t helping, Amity hung around with her siblings and tried to keep out of her mother’s way. She knew that she was hiding a lot from Odalia right now, and she was afraid of letting something slip about Luz, or Willow for that matter. It was best to try and keep conversations between them to a minimum.

There was no escaping her mother at dinnertime, though.

“Amity, darling,” Odalia said, once they were all seated at the dining room table, on which the usual impressive array of traditional Thanksgiving dishes had been laid out, “Are you excited for opening night tomorrow? Your father and I can’t wait to see it.”

She smiled at Alador when she mentioned him, probably trying to prompt a contribution. “Yes, very excited,” Amity’s father said, barely looking up from his food.

“I’m looking forward to it,” Amity said simply, pushing her food around her plate. She could never manage to eat much when she was at home. Probably because she could always feel her mother’s eyes on her, watching her caloric intake with an eagle eye.

“Ooh, yeah, it’s Mittens’ big debut tomorrow,” Emira said, with a teasing grin. “Better not mess it up.”

Amity narrowed her eyes at her sister. “It’s  _ your  _ debut as Dewdrop,” she reminded her. “Hope you’re ready to nail those fouettés.”

“Oh, I was  _ born  _ ready,” Emira said. “And anyway, I’m already in the company. The stakes are higher for you.”

“Now, Emira,” Odalia interjected. “You know that’s not true. Every performance counts, for all three of you. You and Edric are both dancing principal roles this year. It might be that a promotion to Soloist is on the line for you both.”

“Yes, Mother,” Emira said, rolling her eyes at Viney when Odalia wasn’t looking.

“Well, I’m excited for tomorrow,” Edric chimed in. “I love doing Candy Cane.”

“Just don’t trip on the hoop,” Emira snarked.

“Hey! That only happened once!”

Odalia shook her head at them. “Viney and Jerbo, which parts will you be dancing?” she asked, shifting her attention to the twins' partners.

“Well I’m in Party Scene, Snow, and I’m one of the Lead Flowers,” Viney said.

“And I’m doing Drosselmeyer on some nights, and Candy Cane on others,” Jerbo added.

“Oh! The same as Edric. How nice,” Odalia said, plastering on a smile that Amity could tell was forced.

Uh oh. If Odalia thought Jerbo was Edric’s competition for a promotion to Soloist, that didn’t bode well for Emira’s relationship with him.

“Amity, how are Boscha and Skara these days?” Odalia asked, changing the subject, and Amity groaned internally as her mother’s attention shifted back to her. “I was just thinking how it’s such a shame that Boscha wasn’t chosen to be in Nutcracker along with you,” Odalia continued. “I still can’t believe Belos picked that Luz girl over her - she’d barely been at the school for a month! Surely he would have been better to choose a more seasoned dancer.”

Anger swelled within her at her mother’s words, and Amity clenched her hands in her lap. Why did everyone think Luz didn’t deserve to be in Nutcracker, just because she was new? Sure, Amity had helped her train, but Luz had absolutely made it through on her own merits. She’d been chosen because she was a great dancer, and if everyone would just shut up for five minutes and watch her dance, they would see that!

“I think Luz is pretty good, actually,” Edric commented quietly, and Amity had never loved her brother more than at that moment.

Pushing down her anger, Amity forced herself to ignore her mother’s dig at Luz. The last thing she wanted to do was reveal how close she and Luz had become. She’d sworn to herself that if Odalia ever tried to make her end a friendship again, she would refuse to do it, but that didn’t mean she was looking for a fight. She’d rather avoid such a confrontation if possible, especially since she only had to make it through to the end of the year and then hopefully she’d be in the company, and her mother’s hold on her would loosen.

Hopefully.

“Boscha and Skara are fine,” she said. “I’ve been too busy to see much of them lately.”

That wasn’t entirely true, of course. Amity had also been avoiding them.

When she and Luz had been given the good news that they’d been chosen for Nutcracker, she’d told Boscha and Skara right away. She’d needed to, to explain why she wouldn’t be in class with them for the next two months, and, well, they  _ were  _ supposed to be her friends, after all. Skara had been happy for her, but Boscha… hadn’t taken it well. She’d complained loudly about Luz being chosen instead of her, until Amity had finally snapped and told her in no uncertain terms that Luz deserved her place in Nutcracker. She and Boscha hadn’t spoken since, not that they’d had many chances to. Amity certainly hadn’t lied about being busy.

“That’s a shame,” Odalia said. “I always liked those girls.”

_ Why?  _ Amity wondered.  _ Because their families are rich like ours, probably. _

“Viney, Jerbo, how long have you both been with the company? Did you join in the same year as Ed and Em?” Odalia asked, her attention shifting once more to the twins’ dates.

“Yeah, we were all in the same year,” Viney said. “Although we didn’t know each other very well while we were at Hexside. Em-  _ Edric  _ and I didn't start to become close  until after we'd joined the company.” She flushed slightly, but covered it with a smile.

Amity looked at her in surprise.  _ Did she just?... _

No. It couldn’t be. Both of her siblings were straight, of course. She’d never had any reason to suspect otherwise.

_ They don’t have to hide who they love. Unlike me. _

Even if Luz somehow miraculously did return her feelings, and they ended up together, Amity knew that she could never just… bring her home like this. Not without having a very difficult conversation first.

It wasn’t that her parents were openly homophobic. Amity wasn’t really sure what their feelings were towards gay people in the general sense, but she had to imagine that even if they were okay with the idea in theory, they might feel differently when it was their own daughter.

Amity knew that her parents, and her mother especially, had plans and expectations for her future. Plans and expectations which almost certainly included eventually meeting the right guy, settling down, getting married and having children. After she’d had a successful dancing career, of course.

But that wasn’t what she wanted. It had never been what she wanted.

As dinner progressed, Amity watched the two happy couples interact with a sort of resigned sadness. Everything had always seemed so easy for Ed and Em. They’d excelled at ballet, seemingly without having to try very hard, and had been accepted into the company at age seventeen, a year earlier than most people. Now, only a few years into their careers, they were already getting opportunities to dance principal roles. Romance was apparently just another thing that came naturally to them.

However, there was one thing that did strike her as odd. Amity couldn’t help but notice that Emira seemed to spend more time talking to Viney than she did to Jerbo, and that the same was true of Edric and Jerbo. It surprised her that the couples weren’t talking to each other more.

_ Could  _ Ed and Em be lying about their relationships?

_ Oh, come on. They’re all really good friends - you know that! Stop looking for signs that aren’t there. _

  
  


***

  
  


When Amity woke up suddenly, sometime in the early hours of the morning, she wasn’t immediately sure where she was.

_ This isn’t my dorm room… _

As she lay in bed trying to get her bearings, the room slowly began to take shape around her.

Oh. Right. She was at home.

Well, her parents’ home. It had been a while since she’d actually lived here. 

Amity thought back to the previous evening, remembering how she’d retired to her room almost as soon as dinner had ended, making an excuse about needing to get a good night’s sleep before her first performance of Nutcracker. She hadn’t intended to actually go to bed so early, but the stress of the day had caught up with her, and she’d quickly been overtaken by exhaustion. She’d wondered if she might find it difficult to get to sleep in a room by herself, after having spent so many nights together with Luz in their shared dorm, but in the end she’d been too tired to notice the difference. She had fallen immediately into a dreamless sleep.

As she woke up more fully, Amity quickly became aware of what it was that had pulled her from sleep. She desperately needed to use the bathroom.

Getting out of bed, she left her room and padded quietly down the hall. As she approached the bathroom, she immediately saw that the light was on and the door was closed.

Amity waited just outside, tapping her foot impatiently. Just when she was about ready to go and use the bathroom downstairs, the door opened and Viney came out.

“Oh, hey,” Viney said, awkwardly shuffling past Amity. “All yours - sorry about the wait. Anyway, good night!” Then she was off, heading back down the hall.

Amity quickly entered the bathroom, and was pulling the door shut behind her when she saw something strange. Viney had opened the door of a bedroom and was heading inside, but… Amity was pretty sure that door belonged to  _ Emira’s  _ bedroom, not Edric’s. The two rooms  _ were _ right next to each other, but still.

Amity rubbed her eyes.  _ It’s late - you’re probably just seeing things. Or maybe she went in the wrong room by mistake. _

If that were the case, one would expect Viney to come out again in short order. But Amity didn’t hear anyone moving about while she was in the bathroom, nor did she see anyone in the hallway on her way back to her room.

_ Must have just been my eyes playing tricks on me, then. _

  
  


***

  
  


“Mami!” Luz called excitedly, as she spotted her mother waiting for her just outside the Bonesborough train station. Weaving through the crowd, she quickly made her way through the automatic doors and out onto the sidewalk, squinting in the bright sunlight and waving frantically at her mother.

“Mija!” Camila exclaimed, rushing forward to meet her. Soon, Luz was being enveloped in the kind of hug only her mother could give. “I missed you,  cariño,” Camila said.

“I missed you too, Mami.”

Camila pulled away, but her hands stayed on Luz’s shoulders as she looked up at her daughter. “Have you grown?” she asked. “Or have I just forgotten how tall you are now?”

Luz laughed. “I don’t think so. I haven’t noticed my pants getting shorter, or anything.”

“Well, you look taller to me,” Camila insisted, reaching up to ruffle Luz’s hair. “Now come on, let’s get you home. Eda is coming to dinner tonight as well, and I have a feeling she’s going to arrive early. I think she’s really missed you,” she said.

Luz grinned. “I’ve missed her too. I can’t wait to see her!”

Camila turned to head to the car, but Luz stopped her. “Hey, can we take a quick photo first?” she asked, pulling out her phone. “To, you know, mark the occasion.”

Camila, who was used to Luz’s antics by now, agreed with a resigned smile. “All right, just a quick one.”

Luz snapped a selfie of the two of them, and uploaded it to her Instagram Stories. Then, slinging her bag over her shoulder, she followed her mom to where the car waited.

On the drive home, Luz gazed out the window at the town she’d grown up in and marveled at how small everything seemed now. She’d gotten used to life in the big city during her time at Hexside.

Before too long, they were pulling up in front of a familiar house. Luz was out of the car and running up the front steps almost before they’d come to a complete stop. She’d missed this place.

“Mija, what’s your hurry?” Camila asked, laughing as she followed Luz and reached past her to unlock the front door. “The house isn’t going anywhere.”

“I know,” Luz said, as the front door swung open to reveal the home she’d grown up in. “I’ve just… really missed this place.”

As she entered the house, Luz felt a wave of different emotions wash over her. There was an overwhelming sense of rightness, of coming home, but that feeling was accompanied by a nostalgia and sadness that had never been there before. A sense that this wasn’t quite her home anymore, that her time living here had come to an end.

Before she could dwell on that feeling, her mother was pushing past her on the way to the kitchen. “Cariño, you can go ahead and take your bag up to your room and stay there a little while, if you want, but in about an hour I’m going to need your help in the kitchen, okay?”

Luz nodded. “Sure thing, Mami.”

She headed upstairs to her attic bedroom, smiling at the familiar sights. There was her bed, and her desk, and her bookshelves - stuffed to bursting, of course, with fantasy books. The walls were still covered in Azura posters and her own fan art, and her bi pride flag still hung above the bed. Everything was just as she remembered it. 

Luz flopped down on her bed and pulled her phone out, checking Instagram quickly before plugging it in to charge. It didn't look like any of her friends had posted anything recently. 

It was a weird feeling, being so far away from them. Especially Amity, who Luz had spent practically every minute of every day with for the past two months. 

Idly, Luz wondered what Amity was up to, and if she’d arrived at her parents’ house yet. She hoped her friend was having an okay time. Luz was well aware of the fact that Amity's relationship with her mother was… complicated.

Grabbing her phone, Luz fired off a quick text to check in. Amity didn’t reply right away, so she sent messages to Willow and Gus as well, then grabbed a book off her shelf to pass the time while she waited for her friends to respond.

After about forty minutes, Luz’s phone buzzed.

**Amity: Happy Thanksgiving to you too! Things are going ok so far - I managed to escape to my room while Mom was interrogating the twins and their dates. Yeah, you read that right. Ed and Em brought dates to a family event. Not sure what they were thinking, but if I were Viney or Jerbo I would probably have run away screaming by now.**

Luz smiled as she read Amity’s text, then frowned in confusion. Ed and Em were dating Viney and Jerbo? Strange; she hadn’t picked up on anything romantic between them. Then again, she was often pretty oblivious to this kind of thing.

**Luz: Viney seems pretty fearless. I don’t think she’ll run.**

**Luz: And wow, meeting the family - that’s a pretty big step. I didn’t even know they were dating.**

**Amity: Me neither! Apparently you and I aren’t very observant.**

Luz smiled to herself.  _ You and I.  _ She liked that.

**Luz: Apparently not.**

  
  


***

  
  


Luz and her mother were both in the kitchen when a knock at the door signaled Eda’s arrival. Luz ran to open it.

“Eda!” she exclaimed, as the door swung open to reveal her ballet teacher, mentor, and friend.

“Hey, kid,” Eda said, smiling. Luz pulled her into a hug, which she pretended not to enjoy, but they both knew she wasn’t fooling anyone.

“Come in,” Luz said, releasing her. “Mom’s just in the kitchen.”

Eda walked in, sniffing the air appreciatively. “Mmm, smells amazing in here.”

“Yeah, Mom’s been cooking up a storm. I hope you like spicy food,” Luz said over her shoulder as she led Eda through the house.

“I can handle my spice,” Eda said confidently, although privately Luz had her doubts.

“Hello, Eda,” Camila said warmly, coming out of the kitchen to greet them.

“Hi, Camila,” Eda replied. “Nice to see you again.”

“Dinner’s almost ready. Luz, why don’t you and Eda wait in the living room while I finish up here? I’ll call you when it’s time to eat.”

“Come on Eda,” Luz said, leading the way. “I can’t wait to tell you all about Hexside!”

“Not too much, mija!” her mother called after them. “I want to hear everything too!”

“I’ll stick to the technical ballet stuff!” Luz promised.

She and Eda sat down in the living room, and Luz launched into a description of her classes at Hexside, and the differences in technique she’d observed during her time there. Eda laughed when Luz told her about some of the more frustrating corrections she’d received from Lilith. 

“Hah! My sister never was one for bending the rules, or thinking outside the box,” Eda snarked.

Soon enough, they were being called to dinner. When she and Eda entered the dining room, Luz’s stomach grumbled as she took in the mouth-watering spread her mother had prepared. Camila had gone all out, cooking a variety of traditional dishes from the Dominican Republic. There were tostones and Pollo Guisado and Pasteles en Hoja, accompanied by rice and salads. All foods that Luz had grown up with, and that she had missed during her time at Hexside.

Luz had been looking forward to this meal for ages. She wasted no time, quickly serving herself some of everything and then digging in, scarcely looking up until she’d almost cleared her plate. When she did, both her mother and Eda were watching her, bemused.

“Guess they don’t feed you much at that school of yours,” Eda commented dryly. 

“They feed us,” Luz said, “But none of it tastes this good! Everything was amazing, Mami,” she added, addressing her last comment to Camila.

“Muchas gracias, cariño. But you deserve some of the credit too - you were a big help.”

“Aww, I just did what you told me,” Luz said.

“Anyway, now that you’ve eaten, tell us all about Hexside, and Nutcracker!” Camila said. “I want to hear everything that’s been going on.”

“Things have been good,” Luz said. “I’m so grateful they picked me for Nutcracker. It’s been a lot of hard work, but I know it will all be worth it once I’m out there on that stage tomorrow night.”

“You bet it will,” Eda said. “This is what you’ve been working for.”

“It’s so exciting,” Camila added. “And Eda and I can’t wait to come see it!”

“You guys are coming?” Luz asked, eyes wide. She hadn’t been sure if they’d want to make the trip, or if her mother’s work schedule would allow it.

“Of course!” Camila said. “I’d never miss my baby’s first performance with a real ballet company!”

“We’re going next weekend,” Eda added. “Got the tickets weeks ago.”

“That’s awesome!” Luz exclaimed. “I can’t wait for you to see it - and I can’t wait to show you around the city, and introduce you to my friends!”

“Yes, I’d really love to meet them,” Camila said. “Willow, and Gus, and Amity, right? She’s your roommate?”

“Yeah,” Luz said, her heart speeding up a little at the mention of Amity. “She’s also in Nutcracker with me, so we’ve become really close. Not that I’m not also close with Willow and Gus - it’s just that I don’t see as much of them right now, since I’m taking classes with the company instead of my Hexside classes.”

“What’s Amity like?” Camila asked. “You haven’t told me much about her.”

Luz paused, considering. How would one describe Amity?

“She’s… complicated,” she said eventually. “Not in a bad way. She’s hard to get to know at first, and can come off as cold. But once you do know her… she’s the sweetest person I’ve ever met.” 

Luz could feel herself blushing a little, but she kept going. “She likes the same books as me, and she’s really fun to hang out with. I’m around her basically twenty-four/seven, but I never get tired of her company. And of course, she’s an amazing dancer. We practice together a lot, and I probably would never have been picked for Nutcracker without her help.”

“It sounds like you really care about this girl, mija,” Camila said.

“I do,” Luz agreed. “She’s my best friend.”

She meant those words completely, but although they were undoubtedly true, they didn’t feel quite… right, somehow. Almost as if they didn’t quite manage to capture everything that Amity meant to her.

Luz pushed those thoughts to one side for now. She’d have plenty of time later to try and figure them out, but right now she wanted to make the most of her short time at home, without any distractions.

The conversation moved on to other topics, and dinner was a warm and lively affair. Eda stayed for a little while after they’d finished dessert, but eventually excused herself, saying that she needed to get home to feed her dog, King.

Once Eda had left, Luz helped her mother clean up and then headed to bed. She needed to wake up obscenely early the next morning in order to catch her train back to Hexside, and wanted to make sure she got enough sleep to get her through her first performance tomorrow night.

_ In less than twenty-four hours, I’ll be out there on that stage,  _ Luz thought to herself happily, as she settled into bed and closed her eyes.  _ I can’t wait. _

Luz had expected to drift off quickly, but instead she found herself tossing and turning as sleep eluded her. It was surprisingly strange, going to bed without Amity there in the room with her. She’d gotten used to her roommate’s presence.

When she eventually did manage to fall asleep, the dreams were waiting for her. Vague, confusing, stressful dreams about performing in  _ The Nutcracker  _ and getting the choreography wrong, or missing her cue, or falling over on stage.

Then, at some point in the early hours of the morning, her stress dreams gave way to something different.

  
  


***

  
  


_ Luz stood in a ballet studio, early dawn light filtering through the windows, watching as someone danced. The girl’s movements brought her closer to Luz, and she realized that the dancing girl was Amity. _

_ Luz wasn’t sure what variation she was performing, but whatever it was, it was beautiful. Amity moved gracefully through the steps, every movement telling a story. The soft morning light made her look ethereal, as if she were not quite of this world. She seemed to float above the ground, stepping so lightly that she barely made any sound at all. Luz was enthralled, unable to look away. _

_ A stray sunbeam found its way into her bronze hair, turning it to fire, and Luz was seized by a powerful urge to run her fingers through it. _

_ Amity finished her dance, and only then did Luz realize that no music had been playing. Her movements had been so fluid that Luz had heard a song in her head as she watched. _

_ She waited for the spell to be broken, for Amity to turn to her and smile, ask her “How was that?” and then tell her it was her turn to try. She waited for Amity to change back into the girl she knew, the girl who was her roommate and her best friend. _

_ Instead, Amity looked up, locking eyes with her from across the room. Without saying a word, she began to walk towards Luz, her steps purposeful and sure. Luz was frozen, rooted to the spot by that golden gaze. _

_ When Amity reached her, she smiled, took Luz’s head in her hands, and kissed her. _

  
  


***

  
  


Luz sat bolt upright in bed, shocked out of sleep, lips tingling from Amity’s not-kiss.

“Ay, Dios mío,” she breathed, raising a trembling hand to her mouth.

_ Shit! I’m in love with Amity! _

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew! This one was a beast to write and edit. 
> 
> Next chapter, we'll get to see the girls perform in Nutcracker :)


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Opening Night for Luz and Amity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT'S NUTCRACKER TIME
> 
> Here are the links to the videos I referred to when describing the choreography. I definitely recommend giving them a watch.
> 
> Waltz of the Snowflakes (Amity and Luz are Snowflakes):  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fLKhWl3tEkk&ab_channel=CMajorEntertainment
> 
> Candy Canes (Edric is the lead Candy Cane):  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7q43giGs1qw&ab_channel=CMajorEntertainment
> 
> Waltz of the Flowers (Amity and Luz are Flowers, Viney is a Lead Flower, Emira is Dewdrop):  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LKcZL8q1eBw&ab_channel=CMajorEntertainment
> 
> I have also included a short glossary of ballet terms used in this chapter in the end notes.

Luz had fully intended to sleep on the train back to Hexside, the morning after Thanksgiving.

Instead, she was wide awake, in full-blown panic mode as she considered the implications of her early morning realization.

_I’m in love with my best friend. I can’t be in love with my best friend._

_Even worse, I’m in love with my ROOMMATE! Holy crap, I’m a walking fanfic trope!_

Luz groaned, dropping her head into her hands.

_What am I going to do about this?_

Even as she posed the question, she knew the answer: nothing. At least, for now. She and Amity were about to start a four-week run of Nutcracker, and they had more than enough on their plates already without Luz dropping this bombshell into the mix.

 _Amity’s probably straight, anyways. She’s never said or done anything to give me the impression that she likes girls that way, and even if she did, that still doesn’t mean she’d be interested in_ me. _Better not to risk ruining a friendship over feelings that probably won’t ever be reciprocated._

Firmly, Luz resolved to try and ignore her newfound crush on Amity - at least until after Nutcracker was over. However, she couldn't help the dejected sigh that escaped her. Suddenly, the fact that she and Amity were destined to spend basically all of their waking hours in each other’s company over the next four weeks didn’t seem like the blessing it used to. It was going to be very hard to ignore her feelings when she was around Amity practically twenty four/seven.

And it wasn’t like that situation was going to change very much after Nutcracker ended, anyway. They would still be roommates, after all.

_I’m going to be sleeping in the same room with my crush, every. Single. Night. For the rest of the year._

_Crap! How am I ever gonna survive this?!_

  
  


***

  
  


The morning after Thanksgiving, Amity gazed absently out of the car window as Edric drove her, Emira, Viney and Jerbo back to Hexside.

With each passing mile, Amity felt lighter - as if a large weight was being gradually lifted from her shoulders the further they got from her parents’ house. Now that the dreaded Thanksgiving dinner was behind her, she was starting to actually look forward to opening night tonight.

Of course, the fact that every passing minute also brought her closer to _Luz_ hadn’t escaped her attention. Amity couldn’t wait to see her roommate again. She wanted to hear all about Luz’s holiday, which had undoubtedly been much more enjoyable than her own.

When they arrived back at Hexside, Amity hurried up to her room to get ready for class. Luz wasn’t there when she walked in - probably still on the train from Bonesborough. Although she was cutting it fine if so - it was already after nine thirty, and class started at ten.

Amity quickly changed into her leotard and tights, and packed her dance bag with everything she’d need for the day ahead. She finished getting ready and was about to head down to the studio, and Luz still hadn’t come in.

_Maybe she’s already down there._

But Luz wasn’t in the studio when Amity arrived, and it was now ten minutes to the start of class. Amity took her usual spot at the barre and began warming up, trying to ignore the growing knot of anxiety in the pit of her stomach.

At two minutes to ten, the studio door opened and Luz rushed in - looking disheveled and out of breath, like she’d just run all the way from the train station.

“Sorry!” she whisper-shouted to the ballet master, who was giving her a disapproving look as she hurried to her place next to Amity. As Luz joined her at the barre, Amity tried to offer her a smile, but the other girl didn’t meet her gaze.

_Huh. Is something wrong?_

The anxious feeling in Amity’s stomach only got worse as class progressed. There was just… something _off_ about Luz today. Amity could see the tension in her body, and she wasn’t as focused as she normally was, making little mistakes that she hadn’t made for a long time. But the worst part, as far as Amity was concerned, was the way Luz never seemed to quite meet her eyes.

_Is she upset with me? What did I do? I haven’t even seen her since yesterday morning!_

When class was over, Amity made a cautious attempt at conversation. “Hi,” she said, smiling tentatively. “Did you have a good Thanksgiving?”

Luz looked up, finally meeting Amity’s eyes with what could only be described as a deer-in-the-headlights expression on her face. “What? Oh, yeah, it was great!” she said, sounding almost... _too_ cheerful. “Anyways, we’d better get to rehearsal, right? I’ll uh, race you there!” 

Backing away towards the door, she waved finger guns at Amity before turning on her heel and practically sprinting out of the studio.

_Okay, that was definitely weird._

Amity followed at a normal pace, confused and upset. There was no doubt about it - something was up with Luz today. And Amity couldn’t shake the feeling that it was something to do with _her,_ specifically.

The trouble was, she had absolutely no idea what had happened.

Things did not improve during rehearsal. Normally, Amity and Luz stuck together, as the only two students in a room full of company dancers. They had each other’s backs - always ready to offer support or encouragement where it was needed.

But today, Luz seemed to be off in her own little world. Her brow was furrowed as if she were deep in thought, and she never let her gaze rest on Amity for more than a second or so. 

As the day progressed, Amity became more and more convinced that she’d done something to seriously upset Luz. She made it through rehearsal on autopilot, too busy wracking her brains for some idea of what she might have said or done to concentrate on her dancing. Fortunately for her, she could practically perform the choreography in her sleep by now, so she didn’t think anyone noticed how distracted she was. 

Eventually, Amity could take it no longer.

“Hey,” she said quietly to Luz, when they were on a water break, “Everything okay?”

Beside her, Luz startled, whirling to face Amity as if she hadn’t been aware of her presence. “Oh, hey Amity! Uh, yeah, everything’s fine!” she said, loud enough that some of the other dancers turned to look at them. “Why wouldn’t it be?”

Amity flinched, dropping her gaze to the floor. Luz’s reaction made her feel utterly wretched. Why was Luz so jumpy around her? What had she done?

“It’s just…” she began. “I don’t know. You’re acting strange, and I wondered if-”

“Am I? I didn’t realize,” Luz interjected, with a nervous laugh. Her gaze shifted around the room, almost as if she were looking for an escape route.

Amity squeezed her eyes shut to keep from crying. _She hates me now, I know it._

“What did I do?” she asked quietly, her voice thick with unshed tears.

Confusion flitted across Luz’s features. “What do you mean?” she asked. “You haven’t done anything.”

“A-aren’t you mad at me?” Amity asked, surprised. “I feel like you’ve been avoiding me…”

Luz’s expression softened instantly. “Amity, _no,_ ” she said quietly, but with conviction. “Of course I’m not mad at you. I’m sorry you thought that.” Smiling apologetically, she opened her arms in invitation and Amity gratefully accepted, stepping forward to allow Luz to hug her.

“Will you tell me what’s wrong, then?” she asked, resisting the temptation to rest her chin on Luz’s shoulder. She felt Luz stiffen in her arms at the question, and instantly wished she hadn’t said anything.

_No, stop that. If Luz doesn’t feel comfortable answering, she’ll just tell you. She’s not going to hate you for asking the question._

Rationally, Amity knew that was true. Still, her fears where Luz was concerned had never been entirely rational.

“I think I’m just… nervous,” Luz said, releasing Amity and pulling away to look her in the eyes. “You know, about tonight. It’s my first performance here, and it feels like a really big deal.” She gave Amity a reassuring smile. “That’s all it is, I promise.”

 _Oh. That makes sense._ Suddenly, Amity felt foolish. Of _course_ Luz would be feeling nervous about tonight - it was to be expected! She’d just had to go and read too much into it, like always.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I shouldn’t have made such a big deal about it.”

“Hey, don’t apologize,” Luz replied. “I like that you care about me enough to be concerned. It… means a lot.”

_It does?_

Once again, Amity had to remind herself not to read too much into Luz’s words. 

  
  


***

  
  


Luz sat at her station in the dressing room she shared with a few of the other girls, studying her reflection in the mirror as she applied the finishing touches to her stage makeup. They were about five minutes to curtain, but she wasn’t on until the end of the first act, so she still had time.

Which was both a good and a bad thing, really. Luz had been mostly fine all day, right up until she’d started getting ready with the other girls. At that point, it had hit her that this was actually _real_ \- that she really was about to perform onstage in front of an audience that was paying good money to see her - and she’d had a sudden attack of nerves that was only getting worse by the minute. Waiting around and worrying about everything that could go wrong wasn’t doing her any favors - she’d rather just get out there and get it over with.

“Hey,” said a soft voice to her left, “You doing okay?”

It was Amity, of course. Checking in.

Luz was suddenly, absurdly grateful that she’d lied to her friend-turned-crush earlier about being nervous, because now she really _was_ nervous.

She turned her head towards Amity, who sat in front of her own mirror next to Luz’s. Whatever words she had been planning to say died in her throat as she took in the sight of the other girl, resplendent in full costume and stage makeup.

Amity was always beautiful, of course, but there was something different about the way she looked right now. The glittering white tutu and snow crown she wore gave her beauty a mysterious, other-worldly quality - as if she were some magical snow fairy, one who would remain untouched by age or time. One who had quite literally taken Luz’s breath away.

_She looked like that in my dream, too. Like she was too beautiful to be real._

Luz hastily shoved _that_ memory away, feeling the heat rise in her cheeks as the image of dream-Amity kissing her rose unbidden in her mind.

_No, no, no! Think about something else! Literally anything else!_

“Luz?” Amity asked, and Luz remembered that she still hadn’t answered Amity’s question.

“I’m fine,” she said, and to her surprise, she realized it was true. Apparently, freaking out over newfound romantic feelings for someone was an excellent cure for pre-show nerves.

_Well, go with what works, I guess._

“You?” she asked in return.

Amity nodded. “A little nervous, but I’m doing okay.”

Just then, the tinny dressing room speakers crackled to life, and the opening notes of the orchestra played.

Luz sucked in a breath. It was starting. 

Without thinking about it, she reached for Amity’s hand, grabbing it and holding on tight. Amity squeezed back just as hard, the contact serving as an anchor for them both.

“Here we go,” Luz said.

  
  


***

  
  


_Here we go indeed._

Luz stood in the wings, watching as the kids playing the Prince and Clara made their way offstage to applause from the audience. The Waltz of the Snowflakes was next, and in just a few moments it would be her out there in front of that audience, making her debut with the National Ballet Company.

_This is it._

She swallowed nervously, wishing that Amity was here with her. She could use a friendly face right now, but her roommate’s first entrance was from the other side of the stage. They’d wished each other luck before heading to their respective starting positions, and now the next time she saw Amity would be in front of an audience.

Luz took a few deep, calming breaths as the orchestra began to play the familiar, floating notes of the waltz. She watched as the first few dancers made their entrances, gliding across and leaping above the stage.

_You can do this._

When it was her turn, Luz pushed down her nerves and ran onstage, performing a grand jeté in the middle and hitting her splits in the air as she’d been taught, before crossing to the other side. 

Once she was in the wings again, Luz headed around the back of the stage to return to her original starting position. Her next entrance was from the same side.

She watched with the others as the four main Snowflakes danced, and then it was time for her to go on again. Luz entered in a line with three other girls, performing a series of turns and leaps that took them all across the stage. Another line of dancers came on to join them, and Amity was part of this group. She and Luz weaved past each other before the two lines ran off again and the four main dancers returned.

There was no time to be nervous now. Mere seconds later, Luz was back onstage with the same three dancers, bourrée-ing across the floor on the tips of her toes as she moved her arms and upper body in unison with the others. Amity was directly across from Luz - her mirror on the other side of the stage. The two lines moved towards the center, meeting in the middle and then weaving past each other. 

Luz’s eyes met Amity’s for the barest instant before the dance separated them again, and a look of shared understanding passed between them. It was electrifying, being on that stage. Luz felt it, and she was sure that Amity did too. Her nerves disappeared as she relaxed into the familiar choreography, losing herself in the joy of dancing. 

Next, Luz performed a series of sauté arabesques in a square formation before joining Amity and two other dancers in the middle of the stage. Their group of four soon split - with Luz and her partner dancing towards stage left while Amity and her partner headed for stage right.

_Sauté arabesque to glissade to pas de chat!_

Luz performed the jumping steps heading away from center stage, and then she and her partner repeated them in the other direction, passing Amity and her partner again. After that, it was piqué retiré to piqué arabesque, towards the center and away. Then, Luz’s group and Amity’s exited the stage again, while eight other dancers came on, snowflake wands in hand.

Once backstage, Luz hurried to grab her snowflake wands, catching her breath as she waited for her next entrance. Dimly, she realized that her fear was gone, and that she was having the time of her life out there.

The music began to increase in intensity, twinkling notes giving way to soaring string instruments as Luz and the others ran back onstage, while the rest of the Snowflakes split to allow them to come flying down the middle - _Sauté arabesque to glissade to grand jeté!_ \- then repeat their movements in the opposite direction. Dancers flew across the stage in a spectacle of glorious confusion, creating the illusion of a snowstorm. It felt absolutely incredible, being out there in the thick of it, the music thrumming through her veins as she played her part in the creation of the larger whole.

By the time they reached the finale, the music building to a frenetic pace as Luz and the other dancers leapt and twirled across the stage, she’d almost forgotten there was an audience there at all.

Eventually, the music slowed and the earlier twinkling notes returned, signaling the end of the snowstorm. The Snowflakes took their finishing positions in two lines that met in the middle, forming a wide V-shape. Clara and the Prince entered again, making their way up the middle of the stage, and before Luz knew it she was following the others into the wings, and Act I was over.

  
  


***

  
  


Amity examined her reflection in the dressing room mirror, smoothing the front of her frilly pink skirt as she checked to make sure that her makeup wasn’t smudged and her hair was still properly contained in its bun.

Satisfied, she turned her attention to her costume. It wasn’t her favorite - it was far too girly for that, between the pink shade and the full, ruffled skirt - but she had to admit that she absolutely did resemble a flower.

_Which is kind of the whole point, so I guess I can’t complain._

After dancing in the Waltz of the Snowflakes, she’d come back to her dressing room with Luz and the others to get changed into her costume for Flowers. Snow had gone well - Amity had been more nervous than she’d let on, knowing that her mother was in the audience with her eagle eyes trained on her youngest daughter, but as soon as she’d made her first entrance the nerves had faded away into the background, and she’d given a performance that she was proud of. Now there was just Flowers and the finale to go, and her very first show with the company would be complete.

“I think I’m all set,” Luz said, from her spot directly to Amity’s right. “You?”

Luz had been practically walking on air ever since they’d come offstage, her nerves replaced by the euphoric high of performing in front of a live audience. She’d hugged Amity as soon as they were in the wings together, beaming at her with a smile as bright as the sun. Amity didn’t know if she’d ever seen Luz so happy before - which was saying a lot, because Luz was often happy.

_She loves dancing more than anyone else I know. She’s completely in her element._

“I’m ready too,” she said.

Luz checked the time on her phone. “The second Act should be just about to start.”

Together, they left the dressing room and made their way to the side of the stage, intending to watch from the wings until it was their turn to dance.

Many of the other dancers were already there, either warming up or waiting to go on. Amity spotted Edric, dressed in his Candy Cane costume but minus the hoop for now.

She wished her brother luck, and then she and Luz did some light stretching to warm their muscles up again. When the second Act began, Amity watched as the children playing the Angels took the stage, heralding the approach of the Sugar Plum Fairy, the most coveted role in the ballet.

The Sugar Plum Fairy performed her famous variation, after which she introduced the other residents of the Land of Sweets, while the Prince and Clara looked on from their throne. Amity, Luz and the other Flowers ran on for a brief appearance, before returning to the wings while the rest of the Sweets danced in turn. 

First up were the dancers portraying Hot Chocolate. Hot Chocolate was followed by Coffee, and Coffee was followed by Tea. After Tea came the Candy Canes, and Amity watched as her brother took the stage, accompanied by some of the older children.

Edric was in his element - leaping across the stage with gleeful abandon and perfectly embodying the energetic music. There were no incidents with the hoop, and as he jumped through it again and again and again, to the increasing wonder and cheers of the audience, Amity felt a reluctant sense of admiration. Her brother was good. Very good, in fact.

When he came off stage, sweating and out of breath but obviously pleased, she caught his eye and gave him a high five.

After Candy Cane was Marzipan, then Mother Ginger and her Polichinelles, and after that it would be time for the Waltz of the Flowers.

As the Polichinelles danced, Amity’s nervous energy made it impossible to stand still, and she took to pacing around in the wings. She wished for Luz, who had left to take her position on the other side of the stage. If Luz were here, she’d say something to make Amity laugh and forget all about being nervous.

As Amity paced back and forth, trying to calm herself, she caught sight of Emira doing the exact same thing. Her sister was dressed as Dewdrop, ready to make her debut in the role.

The sight of Emira looking as nervous as she did made Amity feel better, somehow. “Hey,” she said quietly, approaching her. “Good luck out there. You’re going to be amazing.”

Emira gave her a tight-lipped smile. “Thanks. You too,” she said, resting her hand briefly on Amity’s shoulder.

Then, it was time for them to take their places, as Mother Ginger and the Polichinelles exited and the orchestra began to play the Waltz of the Flowers.

Amity and Luz were part of the first group to enter. As she stepped onto the stage, Amity watched for Luz out of the corner of her eye, moving gracefully towards her as Luz did the same from the opposite side. They met in the middle, holding their poses as the rest of the Flowers entered.

The Lead Flowers, who sported light purple skirts instead of pink, came on, and Amity followed the other girls in her line as they fell into place behind the leads, all now facing the back of the stage and awaiting Emira’s entrance.

Amity’s sister appeared, looking beautiful in her costume and much more confident than she had backstage, and the Flowers formed a circle around her. Then the music shifted gears, becoming richer and more resonant, and the Waltz of the Flowers really began.

_Okay, piqué arabesque three times - make sure you’re on your leg! Stay in line with the other girls. Now bourrée back towards Emira, and make sure you’re in line with Luz on the other side._

The Flowers formed two lines, framing Emira on either side as she danced between them. Amity and Luz were directly across from each other, at the back of their respective lines. Then the dancers fanned out into a wide V-shape, Amity and Luz meeting in the middle to form the point of the V. They moved their arms and upper bodies through various positions as Emira danced in the center, and then the Flowers took turns leaping gracefully around the stage.

Amity loved the Waltz of the Flowers. She loved the music, the choreography, and she especially loved the way she and Luz were opposites - mirroring each other for much of the dance. The steps would take them away from each other, but they would always come back together again - the two of them moving in perfect synchrony, as though they were reflections of each other, or two sides of the same coin.

Luz was her mark, her anchor, the one she looked to to ensure she was in position. In a way, it was almost as if she were dancing _to_ Luz, and Luz to her. And Amity loved that.

The choreography brought them together again, the music swelling as they danced side by side, leaping across the stage in time with the other girls in their row. Then the Flowers all bunched together, each row of girls performing a grand battement to the front and then sinking to the floor, one after the other in a canon sequence. When it was her line’s turn, Amity lifted her leg as high as it would go before kneeling gracefully to the ground. Then she was up again - the dancers forming a diagonal line across the stage as Emira performed a series of jumps in front of them.

Amity knew that her sister’s fouettés were next. As she joined the other dancers in her group in a circular formation, she kept an eye on Emira as best she could, and saw enough to be sure that she was absolutely nailing the difficult turns. The audience seemed to agree, giving Dewdrop a well-deserved round of applause after.

 _Well done, sis,_ she thought, as Emira exited again and the Flowers kept dancing. Then Dewdrop was back on, Amity and the others joining hands and forming a line behind her as Emira leapt across the stage in front of them. After that, for a while it was just Amity, Luz and the other pink-skirted Flowers, dancing towards and away from each other as they formed a large circle.

_Waltz forward, grand battement into the center, waltz away, grand jeté en tournant, repeat._

The Lead Flowers returned and the music began building towards the finale, soaring and swooping as the dancers leapt across the stage. Amity felt as if she were flying, buoyed by the incredible orchestra and the energy of her fellow dancers. They formed two lines again - Amity briefly joining hands with Luz on the other side before Emira ran between them, separating them once more.

_Now it’s arabesque to grand jeté en tournant away, then repeat coming back towards the center._

Amity lost herself in the choreography she loved so much. As the music neared its end and all the dancers moved together as one, hitting each beat exactly in time with one another, she had the undeniable sensation of being part of something larger than herself - of being one small part of something beautiful. 

Amity caught Luz’s gaze as they danced, and it was obvious that Luz was feeling it too - that particular magic that happened when everything was going just right, the satisfaction that came from working together to create an experience the audience would never forget.

Out there on that stage, twirling on the spot with Luz and the other _corps de ballet_ members as the music swelled and her skirt fanned out around her, Amity felt something she hadn’t felt in a long time.

Joy.

  
  


***

  
  


“We did it!” Luz exclaimed, throwing her arms around Amity the second they were back in their dressing room after taking their final bows.

Their first show had been a resounding success. Nothing major had gone wrong, and the feeling of finally being out there on that stage, dancing her heart out after months of hard work, was like nothing Luz had ever experienced before. Tonight had been, without a doubt, one of the most magical nights of her life.

“We sure did,” Amity replied, wrapping her arms around Luz in return. Only then did Luz remember that actually, she had a huge crush on the girl she was currently squeezing the life out of. She felt a blush bloom on her cheeks, but she didn’t let go right away - too excited and happy to feel embarrassed by the display of affection. Plus, Amity was hugging her back just as hard.

Eventually, Luz released Amity so that they could change out of their costumes and wipe off their stage makeup. Emira and Viney came by to offer their congratulations, which Luz enthusiastically returned. Then, it was time to leave.

“One down, who knows how many more to go!” Luz said as they exited the theater, pumping her fist in the air. Amity smiled wearily, but her eyes sparkled, and Luz knew she was happy.

Exhausted but elated, the two girls made their way back to their dorm and then fell into bed, ready to wake up and do it all again tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ballet terms:
> 
> grand jeté - a jump in which a dancer springs from one foot to land on the other with one leg forward of their body and the other stretched backwards while in the air.
> 
> bourrée - a movement in ballet in which the dancer transfers body weight quickly from foot to foot, usually on the balls of the feet, in a series of small steps.
> 
> arabesque - the arabesque is a body position in which the weight of the body is supported on one leg, while the other leg is extended in back with the knee straight.
> 
> sauté - a sauté is a jump from two feet which lands on two feet.
> 
> glissade - a travelling step that creates the illusion of gliding, often used to link other steps. The working foot glides from fifth position outwards and the other foot closes to it, with the dancer landing on a plié.
> 
> pas de chat - step of the cat. The dancer springs from fifth position into a demi plié and jumps sideway into the air bringing the feet up like a cat.
> 
> retiré - a movement in which the dancer brings one foot to the knee of the supporting leg and then returns it to the fifth position.
> 
> piqué - a classical ballet term meaning “pricking”. It is meant to describe how a dancer transfers weight onto a leg on full pointe or high demi-pointe
> 
> grand battement - an exercise in which the working leg is raised from the hip into the air and brought down again, the accent being on the downward movement, both knees straight.
> 
> canon - a choreographic device or structure in which movements introduced by one dancer are repeated exactly by subsequent dancers in turn.
> 
> fouetté - a quick whipping movement of the raised leg in ballet usually accompanying a pirouette.
> 
> grand jeté en tournant - in which the dancer executes a half-turn in the air away from the forward leg before landing on it.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Winter break approaches.

After that first show, Luz and Amity quickly got into the swing of Nutcracker season. 

They learned how to pace themselves during the day, so that their best dancing happened in the evenings when they were onstage. After the first three or four shows, performing became routine and the nerves largely went away.

Camila and Eda came to see the show on the second Saturday. They stayed in the city overnight, and on Sunday Luz took them to a few of her favorite spots in the city and introduced them to her friends. 

“Mom, Eda, these are my friends Willow and Gus,” Luz said, when the six of them met for lunch at a restaurant near Hexside. “And this is my roommate, Amity. She was in the show with me last night.”

“Hello everyone,” Camila said, smiling at the group. “It’s wonderful to meet you all - Luz has told me so much about you. Especially you, Amity,” she added, directing that last to Luz’s roommate.

Luz’s eyes widened in horror, and she felt her face heat up. Across from her, Amity’s cheeks pinked. 

“All good things, of course,” Camila continued. “She thinks very highly of you.”

Amity’s blush darkened. Luz wanted to die on the spot.

“Thanks, Ms. Noceda,” Amity stammered eventually. “I uh, think very highly of her too. She’s my best friend.”

Luz glanced to the side, and saw Willow watching them with that same knowing expression she’d worn the night of the Halloween party. Across the table, Eda caught Luz’s eye and winked at her.

_Does_ everyone _know? How obvious have I been?!_

Thankfully, their food arrived, interrupting the awkwardness. But Luz noticed the small, knowing smile her mother wore whenever she looked at Luz or Amity. It was pretty clear that Camila was onto her.

In fact, the only people at the table who weren’t giving her strange, knowing looks were Gus and Amity. Luz thanked her lucky stars that Amity didn’t seem to have caught on yet, because apparently she wasn’t very subtle. She thought she’d die of embarrassment if Amity found out about her crush.

The more Luz thought about it, the more sure she became that Amity could never return her feelings. Amity loved her as a friend - of that she had no doubt. But platonic love and romantic love were two very different things. No one had ever liked Luz that way before, and this was _Amity._ Amity, who was beautiful, talented, and a total catch. 

Amity, who probably wasn’t even interested in girls anyway.

Luz knew that the smart thing to do would be to try and get over her crush on her roommate as soon as possible, but she’d only found herself falling harder the further they got into their run of performances. Sharing the stage with Amity every night was the highlight of her day, to the point where she almost struggled to enjoy their days off. When they didn’t dance together, it felt like something was missing.

_At least winter break is coming up. I’ll have some time at home, away from Amity. Maybe I can sort through these confusing feelings, and figure out what to do next._

_And I can talk to Mom. She’s probably figured it out anyway, and I could really use her advice._

_I just have to survive the next few weeks of my crush’s constant company first._

But fate, it would seem, had other plans.

  
  


***

  
  


On one of their days off from the show, about a week and a half before Christmas Eve and the final performance of Nutcracker, Luz and Amity were spending a quiet afternoon in their room when the conversation turned to Christmas and the upcoming break.

“Just think - in less than two weeks, this will all be over,” Amity said. She was lying on the floor of their room, using a foam roller to roll out her sore muscles. “No more performances every night, no Pointe shoes at all for two whole weeks. It’s gonna be great.”

“Yeah,” Luz agreed, looking up from the Pointe shoe she was sewing ribbons on and smiling wistfully. “And I can’t wait to go home and spend some time with my mom. I’ve only seen her twice since the semester started, and I barely got any time with her over Thanksgiving.”

As soon as she’d spoken, she regretted bringing up her impending trip home. She knew that Amity very much did _not_ enjoy extended amounts of time spent with her family, and talking about how much she missed her mom felt a little like rubbing salt in the wound.

Amity didn’t seem in any way bothered, however. There was no slight frown, no furrowed brow or closed off expression - none of the usual signs of distress.

_Huh. Maybe she actually likes Christmas with her family? But then, why would she hate Thanksgiving…_

“Are you looking forward to your break?” she asked tentatively. “Got any fun Christmas plans?”

Amity smiled. No, she _grinned._ And she looked almost… _smug._

That was _not_ the reaction Luz had expected.

_Okay, what is going on right now?!_

“I have absolutely zero plans for Christmas,” Amity said, sounding extremely satisfied. “My mother informed me last week that she and my father will be spending Christmas in Europe this year. They fly out on the twenty-first and will be gone for the duration of our winter break, which means I am free from any and all family obligations. It’s the best Christmas present they’ve ever given me,” she added, sighing contentedly.

Luz couldn’t quite believe what she was hearing. “No Christmas plans at _all_?” she asked, wide-eyed in horror at the prospect. “Leaving aside the fact that your shitty parents are ditching you to jet off to Europe - what about your siblings? You won’t be all alone in that big empty house, will you?”

“Oh, I have no intention of going home,” Amity replied. “And as for the twins, they’re spending Christmas with Viney and Jerbo this year.”

“You’re not going home? Then where-”

“I’ll spend Christmas here,” Amity said, gesturing vaguely at their dorm room.

Luz was genuinely shocked. “Okay,” she said, frowning in disapproval, “Let me get this straight. You intend to spend Christmas _here,_ in this tiny dorm room, _alone,_ because all of your family members are going to be out of town. And you’re actually _happy_ about this?!”

Amity nodded.

“Amity, that is the saddest thing I’ve ever heard in my entire life.”

“What?! No it’s not!” Amity protested, glaring up at Luz, who was sitting on the bed. “You don’t understand - I hate spending time at my parents’ house! A vacation from them is the best vacation I could ask for!”

“Oh no, I understood that part,” Luz corrected her. “What I don’t understand is why you’re okay with spending the holidays completely alone, and… _here,_ of all places! Are you even allowed to stay in the dorms over Christmas?”

“I got special permission,” Amity said quietly, staring at the floor.

Somehow, that was even sadder.

“Amity, I _cannot_ let you do this.”

“I don’t really have a choice!” Amity said defensively. “I have nowhere else to go. I’m _not_ going home.”

“You could come spend Christmas with me,” Luz said quietly. It was the only other solution she could think of - she was _not_ going to just sit by and let Amity spend her holidays alone and at school. Not without at least trying to talk her out of it.

Stunned silence greeted her words. Luz desperately hoped that she hadn’t overstepped, as Amity regarded her with wide eyes.

“W-with you?” she asked eventually. “You mean, go home with you and spend Christmas with you and your mom?”

Luz nodded, painfully aware that she’d just invited her crush to spend Christmas with her. At her house. With just her and her mom. Her mom who worked long hours.

She _really_ hoped this wasn’t a bad idea.

“Would, uh, would your mom be okay with that?”

“I’d have to ask her,” Luz said, “But I think she would be. She’d be just as horrified at the thought of you spending Christmas alone as I am.”

Amity’s face scrunched up as she considered Luz’s words.

_Gosh, she's cute..._

“Okay,” Amity said eventually. “If you ask your mom and she says yes, then I’ll go with you.”

“Great!” Luz exclaimed, stomach churning with a mixture of excitement and apprehension.

_I just invited my crush to spend two weeks with me at my house! God, I really hope this doesn’t end in disaster._

Still, she couldn’t deny that she liked the idea of getting to spend the holidays with Amity, away from Hexside and the constant ballet classes and rehearsals.

_It’ll be a chance for me to get to know her even better, and I can show her around my hometown. I’m sure we’ll have lots of fun - even if I’ll probably be a flustered mess the entire time._

  
  


***

  
  


“Got everything you need?” Luz asked.

Amity looked around the room one more time, then nodded. They’d just finished their final performance of Nutcracker, to rapturous applause from the audience. Now, it was time to get on the late train back to Luz’s hometown of Bonesborough.

“Are you sure your mom is okay with having to come pick us up at three in the morning?” Amity asked.

“Oh yeah, she’s fine with it,” Luz said breezily, suitcase in hand and already heading for the door. “She works a lot of night shifts at the hospital, so she’s used to being up at odd hours.”

“And you’re absolutely _positive_ that she’s okay with me coming?” Amity asked anxiously - probably for the third or fourth time that day.

“Amity, for the thousandth time, _yes_ ,” Luz said, rolling her eyes in feigned exasperation. “She’s thrilled to have you - I barely had any friends growing up, so this is exciting for her.”

She said the words so casually, as if they didn’t matter. Just a simple statement of facts, with no emotion attached to it. But Amity knew that wasn’t true. She’d seen that it made Luz sad. And she knew from experience what it was like to feel alone and friendless.

“I’m sorry,” she said, grabbing the handle of her own suitcase and following Luz out of the room.

“Hey, don’t be. It’s not your fault.”

“I know, but still - I’m sorry. And for what it’s worth, I feel incredibly lucky to be your friend.”

Luz stopped to wait for her, smiling over her shoulder. “Thanks, Amity. I feel the same way about you.”

_Oh, Luz, if only that were true. If only you knew how I really feel._

_I wish I could find the words to tell you. I wish I could stop being so afraid._

“We’d better hurry up and get to the station,” Luz said, interrupting Amity’s reverie. “We don’t want to miss our train.”

They left Hexside and half walked, half jogged the short distance to the train station, keeping to well-lit areas. It wasn’t ideal to be out on the streets this late at night, but thankfully they didn’t have very far to go. Arriving at the station in the nick of time, they quickly boarded their train and sat down.

“I can’t believe it’s actually over,” Luz said, once they were settled in. “No more dancing Snow, or Flowers. No more rehearsals with the company, no more performances. As exhausting as it was, I’m really going to miss it.”

Amity nodded her agreement. “Me too. But we’ll be able to do it again next year, assuming we’re both taken as apprentices.”

“Do you think we will be?” Luz asked wistfully, and Amity knew what she was really asking.

_Do you think_ I _will be?_

“I think Belos would be crazy not to take us,” she said. “We’ve more than proven ourselves. Four weeks of shows and we made it through without any major disasters or injuries. That’s more than can be said for some of the company dancers.”

Luz smiled happily. “You’re right. We did well.” Then she yawned hugely. “Looks like the post-show adrenaline is finally wearing off,” she said, with an embarrassed smile. “I’m gonna try to get some sleep.”

“Okay,” Amity said. “Goodnight, Luz.”

“G’night, Ams.”

Amity’s heart fluttered at the affectionate shortening of her name. Luz had never called her anything other than _Amity_ before.

Luz closed her eyes, leaning back against her seat. It wasn’t long before her deep, even breaths told Amity that she’d fallen asleep.

Amity wasn’t feeling all that sleepy yet, so she reached into her bag for the book she’d packed, intending to do some reading. When she sat back up, book in hand, Luz shifted in her sleep, her head coming to rest on Amity’s shoulder.

Amity froze, feeling her heart rate increase and the heat rise in her cheeks.

_Okay Amity, just breathe. It’s fine. So what if Luz is sleeping on you? She’s asleep - she’s not_ trying _to give you a heart attack. Relax. Stay calm. Read your book._

Opening her book, Amity tried her hardest to ignore Luz and just read, but she couldn’t concentrate on the words on the page. She was far too fixated on the softness of Luz’s hair where it brushed against her face, the gentle puffs of air hitting her neck each time Luz breathed, and the warmth that radiated from her.

They’d never been this physically close before - not for such an extended period of time, anyway. It was impossible to think about anything else.

Eventually, though, the late hour and Amity’s physical exhaustion caught up with her and she fell asleep, her head coming to rest gently on top of Luz’s. Together, they slept peacefully as the train carried them through the night.

  
  


***

  
  


The cessation of forward motion jolted both Amity and Luz awake, as the train ground to a screeching halt.

“Wha-?” Luz said, sitting up and glancing around the train, bleary-eyed. Then, she seemed to get her bearings. “Oh, did I fall asleep on you? Sorry, Amity.”

“S’ okay,” Amity replied, stretching her arms over her head in an attempt to feel more awake. She was groggy and disoriented. “Are we there?”

“I think so.” Luz pulled out her phone to check the time. She held it up, the numbers informing them that it was 3 am on December 25th.

“Merry Christmas, Amity,” Luz said, smiling softly.

Amity smiled back. “Merry Christmas, Luz.”

The other passengers were starting to move. Luz and Amity followed suit, retrieving their luggage and exiting the train. As they left its warm confines and emerged onto the platform, their breath frosted the air before them.

Amity shivered. With one hand, she pulled the sides of her jacket closed, regretting the fact that her winter coat was buried at the bottom of her suitcase. It was colder here than she was used to.

Luz noticed her shivering. “Here, want my scarf?” she asked, pulling it out of her jacket pocket. Amity took it gratefully, wrapping it around her neck. It smelled like Luz.

The temperature dropped even further once they left the station, but luckily they didn’t have far to go. Luz spotted her mother’s car almost instantly and made a beeline for it, motioning for Amity to follow. Camila stepped out of the car as they approached, opening the trunk so that they could put their suitcases inside. She was appropriately dressed for the weather, in a coat and scarf. 

Luz ran up to her mother and hugged her. “Merry Christmas, Mamá!” she exclaimed.

“Feliz Navidad, mija!” Camila replied. “You too, Amity,” she added, sending a welcoming smile in Amity’s direction.

“Merry Christmas, Ms. Noceda,” Amity said awkwardly, feeling uncomfortably like she was intruding on this mother-daughter reunion. “Thanks so much for having me. I’m sorry to impose on you like this.”

“Oh no, cariño, you’re not imposing - we’re happy to have you!” Camila promised, breaking free from her daughter and approaching Amity. “It’s lovely to see you again. And please, call me Camila.”

Amity smiled. She could see where Luz got her warm, open nature from. “Thanks, Camila,” she said, although she had to admit it felt strange. Her own mother would never have let one of Amity’s friends call her by her first name.

Of course, her own mother would almost certainly never let Amity bring a friend home for Christmas, either.

“Luz, let’s get the suitcases in the trunk and then get you girls home before you freeze to death,” Camila instructed. “Amity, did you bring a warm coat? You’ll need one around here. If you don’t have one, I’m sure Luz can lend you something.”

“I have one in my suitcase,” Amity replied, touched by the concern Camila was showing her. This woman had met her twice, and already she cared more about Amity’s wellbeing than either of her actual parents did.

Luz quickly stored the suitcases, taking Amity’s from her despite her protests that she could do it herself. Although, Amity had to admit that it was kind of hot, watching Luz lift her suitcase into the air as if it weighed nothing.

Luz offered Amity the front seat, but she insisted that Luz have it. Settling into the back, Amity let the sound of Luz and her mom chatting in the front wash over her peacefully. As they drove, she gazed out of the window at the town Luz grew up in, watching absently as houses displaying varying degrees of Christmas decoration passed by.

It wasn’t long before they were pulling up in front of a small two-storey house. Amity got out of the car, retrieved her suitcase and followed Luz and Camila up the front steps. The house was warm and welcoming. Framed photographs lined the walls of the front hallway, many featuring Luz at various ages - from toddler to teenager. Amity looked at each one as she passed it, feeling privileged to have this glimpse into Luz’s childhood. It made her feel even closer to Luz, somehow. Like she knew her on some deeper level.

“I’m sure you’re both exhausted,” Camila said. “Why don’t you go upstairs and get a few more hours of sleep? Luz, there’s an air mattress all made up and ready to go in your bedroom.”

“Thanks, Mom,” Luz said, yawning. “That sounds good. Come on Amity, I’ll show you to my room.”

The hallway opened up into a living area, along one side of which was a staircase. Amity followed Luz up the stairs, which led to what was presumably Luz’s bedroom. Luz led the way into the room, depositing her suitcase in the corner by the desk. Amity did the same with her suitcase, then turned to take in her surroundings.

The room was definitely very _Luz._ The walls were covered with fan art and Azura posters, and there were several bookshelves - all of which were overflowing with fantasy books that had been haphazardly jammed in and looked like they might burst free at any moment. Amity had to smile at Luz’s… unique method of organizing her books.

Suddenly, she froze. 

On the wall above Luz’s bed was a flag. It had three horizontal stripes: pink at the top, purple in the middle, blue on the bottom. She thought she recognized it from somewhere.

_That’s… that’s a pride flag, isn’t it?_

Amity was pretty sure it was, although she couldn’t recall what exactly it was meant to represent.

Luz caught her staring. “Oh, that’s my bi pride flag,” she explained, a little awkwardly. “I’m bisexual.” 

_Luz is bi. Luz likes girls._

Amity felt almost woozy - with relief and something else… hope, maybe? But even more powerful than the knowledge that Luz had the capacity to be attracted to her was the sudden, desperate urge to tell Luz the secret she had been keeping for so long. Luz was bi - she wouldn’t judge Amity for being gay.

_Not that she would have, anyway. I trust her._

Amity looked down, wrapping her arms around herself protectively as she gathered her courage. 

_You can do this. Just say the words._

“I’m gay,” she said quietly.

Something clicked into place when she spoke the words aloud, and she felt suddenly lighter - like a huge weight had lifted off her shoulders. It felt… right. It felt _good._

“Oh, you are? That’s cool,” Luz said, smiling at her.

“I’ve never told anyone that before,” Amity admitted.

“Your family doesn’t know?”

Amity shook her head. “I’m afraid to tell them.”

Luz’s eyes filled with sadness. Crossing the room slowly, she reached out and gently rested her hand on Amity’s shoulder, giving it a little squeeze. It was a silent show of support that Amity appreciated immensely.

“I’m glad you told _me_ ,” Luz said, looking deep into her eyes and leaving Amity with no doubt as to the sincerity of her words.

  
  


***

  
  


Several hours later, Amity was awoken by the gentle warmth of winter sunshine on her face.

She didn’t immediately remember where she was. All she knew was that she was lying in bed, warm and content, burrowed under the covers and surrounded by a familiar scent. Like sunshine on grass - it was the scent she associated with Luz.

She resisted the pull from sleep, burrowing even deeper and drinking in that familiar scent, trying to drift off again. Here, lying in Luz’s bed where everything smelled of her, she could almost pretend that Luz was with her, and that it was her crush’s soft embrace keeping her warm.

_Luz’s bed… wait a minute. I’m in Luz’s bed?!_

Amity’s eyes flew open as she remembered the events of last night.

They’d gone to sleep soon after Amity’s confession, both too exhausted to stay awake much longer. Luz had insisted that Amity take the bed, despite her repeated protests.

“If it makes you feel better, we can take turns,” she’d said, and Amity had reluctantly agreed. So she’d gone to sleep in her crush’s bed, while Luz had taken the air mattress.

The air mattress which, now that her eyes were open, she could see was presently devoid of its occupant.

_She must already be awake._

As Amity grew more alert, she realized that she could hear the sound of running water coming from the ensuite bathroom. Luz must be in there, taking a shower.

_Which means she’s…_

Okay. Yep. Her crush was naked, not ten feet away from her.

Her crush that, Amity now knew, was romantically interested in women.

_Quick, think about something else! Anything else! Think about math, or… taxes._

Amity was halfway through reciting the six times tables in her head - _thirty, thirty-six, forty-two, forty-eight_ \- when the running water abruptly cut off, followed by the sounds of Luz moving around and getting dressed. She sat up in bed and took deep, calming breaths, trying hard to arrange her features into a neutral expression. She really hoped her face wasn’t too red.

The bathroom door opened and Luz stepped out, still toweling her hair dry. She was wearing faded black jeans and an oversized, ugly Christmas sweater - bright red with a large, knitted reindeer on the front. The reindeer had Christmas lights tangled in his antlers, and sported sunglasses and a scarf around his neck. It was truly the most hideous thing Amity had ever seen, but Luz made it work somehow.

“Morning Amity!” Luz said brightly. “Shower’s free if you want it. There are clean towels in the cupboard by the sink.”

Amity nodded. “That, uh, sounds good. I’ll just go… do that.”

_Articulate as always, I see._

Climbing out of bed, she made her way over to her suitcase and pulled out a change of clothes and her toiletry bag. Then she entered the recently vacated bathroom, locking the door behind her.

Turning on the shower, she undressed quickly while the water warmed up, then stepped inside.

Now Amity was the one in a state of undress, with her crush next door in the other room.

This shouldn’t feel as awkward as it did - they lived together, for crying out loud! But the bathroom they shared with a few of the other girls in their dorm wasn’t attached to their room, and they were almost never in there at the same time. This felt different, especially because she was showering in _Luz’s bedroom._ After sleeping in _Luz’s bed._

This wasn’t their shared dorm room. This was Luz’s private space, and she’d invited Amity into it. That felt much more intimate, somehow.

Amity finished showering and dressed quickly, in comfortable jeans and a fitted green sweater. She combed the tangles out of her hair, then left the bathroom.

Luz was sitting on the air mattress, scrolling through her phone. “Hey,” she said, looking up at Amity and smiling. “You ready to go down? I think Mom’s started making breakfast.”

There _was_ a delicious smell wafting up the stairs. Amity sniffed the air appreciatively. “In just a second,” she said, rummaging around in her suitcase until her fingers found the edge of the wrapped present she’d snuck into it when Luz wasn’t looking. 

Extracting it, she turned around and held it out towards Luz, shyly offering it to the other girl. “Merry Christmas, Luz,” she said.

“Oh Amity, you didn’t have to,” Luz said, but her eager smile told Amity that she was pleased. She reached out to take the present, tearing off the wrapping paper enthusiastically.

“Oh wow, this is so cute!” Luz exclaimed, holding up the crochet otter hat that Amity had found for her at a small shop in the city. “And you remembered that I love otters! Aww, thanks Amity!”

Underneath the hat were a pair of legwarmers - multicolored, with shades of blue at the top, blending into purples in the middle and then shades of pink at the bottom. Amity had also found them at a local shop, and she’d thought that Luz would appreciate them. A way to brighten up her uniform for ballet class.

Luz examined them. “These are beautiful,” she said. “They’re almost…” She looked up at her flag on the wall. “Did you know, somehow?”

Amity shook her head. “No, that’s a happy coincidence. I just thought you would like the colors.”

“I do,” Luz said, with a smile that Amity could tell was genuine. “I love them. Thank you!” 

She stood up, placing the legwarmers on her desk and shoving the hat on her head. It clashed wonderfully with her Christmas sweater. Then, Luz began rummaging around in her own suitcase.

Eventually, she found what she was looking for and stood up, presenting Amity with a wrapped present of her own. “Merry Christmas, Amity!” she said brightly. “I hope you like it.”

Amity took the parcel, hands trembling slightly. It shouldn’t surprise her that Luz would get her a gift - this was _Luz,_ after all - but it did. She still wasn’t used to having friends who cared about her enough to do such things.

She unwrapped it carefully, trying not to tear the paper. Underneath was a book, and Amity turned it over to read the title. “The Priory of the Orange Tree,” she said aloud, examining the front cover. It featured a dragon, perched atop a stone tower. 

“It’s a really good fantasy book,” Luz explained. “I really enjoyed it, and I thought you might like it as well. Plus, it features a sapphic pairing, so turns out it’s an even better choice than I thought,” she added, with a cheeky smile.

Amity raised an eyebrow. “Oh yeah? That wasn’t why you chose it in the first place?”

Luz actually blushed, and belatedly, Amity felt her own face heating up as well. She hadn’t been trying to flirt, exactly, but it had kind of come out that way.

An awkward silence stretched between them until it was broken by Luz, who cleared her throat abruptly. “So, uh, should we go downstairs?” she asked. “Mom’s probably wondering where we are.”

“Yes! Yes, let’s do that,” Amity said, too loudly. Then she remembered her manners. “Thank you for the book, Luz! I look forward to reading it.” She set the book down on the desk and grabbed the wrapped box of chocolates she’d bought for Camila, then followed Luz out of the room.

_I’m barely holding it together, and it’s only the first day,_ she thought, as they made their way down the stairs. _Oh, what have I gotten myself into?_

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huge thanks to RainbowBuddy, who beta read this chapter for me :)


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Winter break continues

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I now officially have a beta reader for this fic: the amazing RainbowBuddy! Go check out RainbowBuddy's fic One Lifetime Is Not Enough if you haven't already - it's fantastic.
> 
> Now, onto the chapter!

_Amity likes girls. She_ only _likes girls._

That thought had been playing in Luz’s head pretty much on repeat ever since Amity had spotted her bi pride flag and they'd come out to each other.

It didn't mean that Amity liked _Luz,_ of course. But it did mean she wasn't automatically out of the running. 

Luz had to laugh at herself, really. The book she’d given Amity for Christmas had been a strategic choice - a way to test her crush’s reaction to a romance between two women. But, in the end, Luz’s bi flag had been the catalyst which led to the revelation that, actually, neither of them were straight.

 _I probably should have seen that coming,_ she thought wryly. _It’s not exactly subtle - it takes up half the wall! And I should have guessed she’d recognize it._

She was glad Amity _had_ recognized it, because otherwise, Luz probably wouldn’t have come out to her. She was generally pretty open about her sexuality, but it wasn’t the kind of thing she mentioned unless it came up naturally in conversation. And she didn’t think Amity would ever have asked about it - that just wasn’t her style.

But Amity _had_ seen the flag and now, well, now she knew. Now they both did. Luz felt incredibly honored to be the first person her crush had ever told, although at the same time it saddened her greatly that Amity didn’t feel like she could trust her parents or siblings enough to tell them. Luz’s mother had been the first person she told, pretty much as soon as she realized that she was attracted to girls as well as boys, and Camila had been nothing but supportive. Amity deserved that too - to have parents who she could count on to support her, no matter what.

Still, it meant a lot to Luz that Amity had felt safe enough to tell her. It was a testament to how close they’d become, and the trust they’d built between them. Whether or not Amity loved Luz the way Luz loved her, they obviously shared a strong bond. One that Luz wouldn’t give up for anything.

Which was why she was so afraid to confess. What if it made things awkward between them? She couldn’t bear it if her feelings ruined their friendship.

“Hey, Luz? Earth to Luz!”

Luz abruptly snapped out of her reverie, eyes focusing on the hand Amity was waving in front of her face. “Sorry,” she said sheepishly. “I zoned out for a minute there. Were you saying something?”

“I was just asking what you’d like to do today,” Amity said, taking another bite of her cereal. Luz looked down at her own cereal, which she’d been ignoring for the past several minutes, and which was slowly turning into a soggy mess. She took another bite, grimacing as she forced it down.

“Well, it’s Boxing Day so a lot of places will probably be closed. But the weather’s pretty nice, so I was thinking maybe I could show you around town for a bit? Only if you want to, of course.”

“Sure, that sounds like fun,” Amity said. “Let’s do it.”

“Great!” Luz said, feeling relieved. She needed to get them out of the house. Christmas Day had gone smoothly with her mother there to act as a buffer between them, but Camila had left for a shift at the hospital early this morning. Which meant that she was alone in the house with the girl she had a crush on. The girl she had a crush on, who, she now knew, was _not_ straight. 

It was hard not to think about the things they could be doing, if they were both so inclined, and Luz felt more and more awkward with each passing minute. Better to get outside in the open air, where they couldn’t really do those things even if they wanted to.

Luz hurriedly scarfed down the rest of her cereal, doing her best to ignore how mushy it was. When Amity had finished as well, they put their bowls in the sink and headed upstairs to grab their coats. Once they were sufficiently armoured against the cold, Luz led the way outside and down the street.

“I hope you don’t mind walking,” she said, somewhat belatedly. “Mom’s got the car with her at the hospital. But it’s not too far to get into town.”

“Walking is fine,” Amity said, but Luz noticed that, despite being suitably attired in a hat, scarf and gloves, her nose was already turning pink. She definitely seemed to feel the cold much more intensely than Luz did, which made Luz feel oddly protective of her. 

_Well, hopefully the walk will help warm her up. I’ll just have to set a brisk pace._

As they made their way through the suburban streets, Luz pointed out various landmarks - parks she’d frequented as a kid, the community pool where she’d taken swimming lessons in the summer, and the first school she’d ever gone to. Amity listened attentively as Luz recounted stories from her childhood. She made sure to stick to happy ones, wanting to keep the mood light.

It wasn’t long before the houses thinned and the shops increased, as they reached the center of town. “There’s Eda’s ballet studio,” Luz said, pointing as they approached the familiar building. It was closed today, but she and Amity stopped to look in the window.

“Hey, it’s you!” Amity exclaimed, pointing to a collection of photographs in the window display. Luz’s eyes followed Amity’s finger, and came to rest on a large framed photograph of herself, onstage in first arabesque.

“That was from my last recital,” she said, feeling a little choked up as she looked at the image. “Eda choreographed the piece, specifically for me. I had no idea she had this photo, though.”

“You and Eda are very close, aren’t you?” Amity said softly. “You must miss her.”

Luz nodded, feeling an unexpected surge of emotion as she looked at the studio where she’d trained for years. “I really do. She was my teacher from the time I first started ballet, and she… gets me. She knows my strengths and weaknesses better than anyone.” 

She paused, taking a deep breath before continuing. “But I knew I needed to go to Hexside to have any chance of getting into the National Ballet Company, and she fully supported that decision. I know she’s proud of me, and I don’t regret it, even if I do miss her. Besides,” Luz added, smiling softly at Amity, “If I hadn’t come to Hexside, I never would have met you.”

Amity’s eyes shone, and her cheeks were faintly pink - although that could just be from the cold. “I’m glad you came,” she said. “It would suck not knowing you.”

Luz had to laugh at Amity’s frankness. “Well, you wouldn’t know what you were missing.”

“Maybe not,” Amity replied. “But I’ve always felt like something was. Until I met you.” 

She looked down at her feet, as though embarrassed to have said so much. “You know that I didn’t really have any friends, before you came along,” she added, by way of explanation. “You really changed my life, Luz.”

Luz smiled at her. “You’re my best friend,” she said simply.

Amity smiled back. “You’re my best friend too.”

  
  


***

  
  


“Finally, warmth!” Amity exclaimed, as they re-entered Luz’s house after their walking tour of Bonesborough. Luz laughed at her as she rushed inside, out of the cold winter air.

Amity refused to feel embarrassed. They’d been outside for a couple of hours, and it was _cold_ here! Luz had shown her all around town, but very few of the businesses had been open, so there’d been no respite from the freezing temperatures. Amity’s ears hurt, and her nose felt like an icicle. She needed to thaw out, stat.

Luz removed her coat and scarf, and reluctantly, Amity did the same. Then she followed Luz into the kitchen.

“I’ll make us some hot drinks,” Luz said. “What would you like? Hot chocolate? Coffee? Tea?”

Amity fidgeted slightly, trying to make up her mind. Hot chocolate sounded amazing, but she could just picture what her mother would say.

_Amity, dear, there’s far too much sugar in that, and it’s nothing but empty calories. You’re a dancer, darling - you need to watch your figure. Otherwise, you’ll never make it in this business._

Well, Odalia wasn’t here right now, and Amity was done listening to her anyway. “I’d like a hot chocolate, please,” she said. “Thanks, Luz.”

Luz grinned at her. “Two hot chocolates, coming right up.”

They took their drinks into the living room and sat on the couch. Luz offered Amity a blanket, which she gladly accepted, draping it over herself as she slowly sipped her hot chocolate.

“What do you want to do now?” Luz asked. “We could watch a movie or something.”

“That sounds nice,” Amity said. “Could we watch another Studio Ghibli one?”

Luz grinned at her. “Of course!”

She put on one she hadn’t shown Amity yet, called _Kiki’s Delivery Service._ It turned out to be a cute story about a witch and her talking cat, who left home to travel to a new city and make their own way in the world.

As enjoyable as the movie was, though, it couldn’t distract Amity completely from the fact that Luz was sitting all the way at the other end of the couch from her. That wasn’t how they usually were with each other - when she and Luz watched a movie together in their dorm, they sat so close their shoulders touched. And she didn’t think it was just due to the lack of space - Luz was physically affectionate with all her friends, Amity included.

So why was she keeping her distance now?

_Maybe she’s figured out that I like her and doesn’t want to encourage me?_

_But I’ve liked her for ages… why would she only just be noticing now?_

_Unless finding out I like girls was enough for her to put two and two together._

But Luz hadn’t been acting weird or distant the rest of the day - far from it, actually.

_Surely she wouldn’t have said what she said at Eda’s studio, if she knew I had feelings for her and was trying to discourage me?_

No, Amity felt sure that Luz wouldn’t have done that, but it was hard not to worry.

_Okay. Well, you can either sit here and stress about it like you always do, or you can actually do something for once in your life. Offer to share your blanket with her, and see if she accepts._

She was still wrapped in the blanket Luz had given her, while Luz was currently blanket-less. It was the perfect excuse.

It took Amity at least five minutes to work up the courage to make the offer, and then a further two minutes to decide how to phrase it, but she eventually found her voice. “Hey, are you cold over there?” she asked, trying to sound as casual and nonchalant as possible. Luz turned to look at her, and Amity lifted up the corner of her blanket. “Want to get under here? There’s plenty of room.”

Luz smiled and scooted closer instantly, taking the edge of the blanket from Amity and arranging it so that it covered both of them. Now their proximity was such that Luz’s arm brushed against hers, and Amity bit her lip in order to hold back a satisfied smile.

_This is much better. See, she wasn’t staying away from you on purpose!_

With both of them under the blanket, their shared body heat was enough to finally make Amity feel truly warm again. As her body relaxed and the exertions of the day caught up with her, she felt her eyes begin to droop.

When Camila arrived home from work an hour later, she found them curled up together on the couch, fast asleep under their shared blanket.

  
  


***

  
  


Amity was definitely getting a crash course on how to handle spicy food during this trip.

Camila’s cooking was delicious, but it was also much hotter than she was used to. They’d finished dinner a few hours ago, and her mouth was still burning.

Luz’s mother had gone to bed early, worn out from her shift at the hospital, and she and Luz were sitting in the living room in companionable silence, each occupied with their own activity. Amity was making a start on the book Luz had given her for Christmas, and Luz had her sketchpad out and was drawing something. Amity didn’t know what she was drawing, but she was definitely curious about it.

She was enjoying her book so far, but she wasn’t making much headway because she kept pausing to sneak glances at Luz. Her crush was just too cute when she concentrated - with her brow furrowed and tongue poking out, occasionally pausing to chew on the end of her pencil as she reviewed her work. 

_It should be illegal to be that adorable._

Just then, Luz looked up, and caught her staring. Amity flushed, and hurriedly dropped her eyes back to her book.

“Whatcha lookin’ at?” Luz asked.

“Nothing - just wondering what you’re working on,” Amity fibbed, raising her eyes to meet Luz’s again.

“I’m afraid I cannot reveal that information at this time,” Luz said playfully. “But I’ll show you when it’s ready. Are you liking the book so far?”

“Yeah, it’s really good,” Amity said. “Thanks again for getting it for me.”

They lapsed once more into comfortable silence. Amity did her best to focus on her book and spend less time staring at her crush - but, really, it was Luz’s fault for being so damn adorable and distracting.

“Okay, I think I’m finished,” Luz said eventually. “For now, at least.”

“Oh?” Amity asked, looking up. “Let’s see it, then.”

Luz hesitated, blushing a little and ducking her head in embarrassment. “I’ll show you, but… don’t judge me too harshly. I’m not sure if it’s any good.”

“I’m sure it’s great,” Amity said. “And I’d never judge you. But you don’t have to show me if you don’t want to.”

“No, I will,” Luz said. “Here.” Shyly, she handed Amity the sketchpad.

Amity took it, and turned it over to see what Luz had been drawing. When she did, her breath caught in her throat.

The drawing was of _her._

There she was - sitting on the couch, legs up and hair in a messy bun, her gaze directed at the book which rested on her knees. Amity wondered if her two-dimensional self was having an easier time concentrating on the printed words than she had been.

_She drew me. Luz drew me._

_Does this mean… could she like me back?_

_Could_ she? Luz had obviously worked hard on this drawing, and then she’d shown it to Amity, even though she didn’t have to. Was this - was this her way of confessing feelings?

_No, Amity, be reasonable. It’s just a drawing. Don’t read too much into it - she probably just wanted to practice, and you were the only one she could use as a model._

_Friends draw their friends, don’t they? That’s normal, right?_

_Right?!_

Eventually, Amity remembered that Luz was waiting for her reaction, and that she’d been staring blankly at the drawing for far too long.

_Better hurry up and say something, or she’s going to think you hate it._

“This is amazing,” she said, trying hard to keep her voice steady. “It looks just like me.”

“You really think so?” Luz asked. “I felt like I wasn’t doing you justice.” She paused. “I hope it’s okay that I drew you. I probably should have asked first - sorry about that.”

“It’s fine,” Amity said, a little breathlessly. “I don’t mind. And you did a great job,” she added, handing the sketchpad back to Luz. “I like it a lot.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

“You can have it, if you want,” Luz offered shyly.

Amity was taken aback. She hadn’t expected Luz to give her the drawing, but... did she want it? Yes! Of course! Absolutely!

“I do,” she said. “Want it, that is. But only if you don’t mind! I mean, it’s your drawing, obviously - _you_ drew it, so if you want to keep it then you should…”

Great. She was rambling again.

Luz gave her a confused smile. “So… you do want it, then?”

“Yes. If that’s okay.”

“Of course it is,” Luz said. “I wouldn’t have offered otherwise.” Carefully, she tore the page from her sketchbook and handed it to Amity, who took it, and clutched it protectively against her chest.

“I’d better go put this somewhere safe,” Amity said, not wanting to lose the drawing or harm it in any way. Closing her book, she set it down on the coffee table and started to get up off the couch, so that she could take the drawing upstairs and put it with her things.

“I’ll come too,” Luz said, standing up as well. “It’s getting late anyways - we should probably go to bed soon.”

Amity checked her phone and saw that it was almost midnight. “So it is,” she said.

“Shall we?” Luz motioned for Amity to lead the way. They climbed the stairs to Luz’s attic bedroom and Amity packed her drawing away safely. Luz quickly changed and brushed her teeth in the bathroom, before exiting so that Amity could do the same.

When Amity returned, changed and ready for bed, she was disappointed to see that Luz had once again taken the air mattress. 

_That’s not what we agreed! It was supposed to be her turn in the bed tonight._

“Hang on,” she said, crossing her arms over her chest and trying to make her voice as stern as possible. “You took the air mattress last night, which I only allowed because you insisted that the few hours we slept on Christmas morning didn’t count as a full turn in the bed. But now it is _definitely_ my turn to use the air mattress, so get up and get in bed already, would you?”

Luz regarded her levelly, and she didn’t appear inclined to move. “Sorry Amity,” she said, “But as you can see, I just got comfortable here. I don’t want to get up again, so you’ll just have to take the bed, okay? I promise we can switch tomorrow.”

Amity groaned in frustration. “I know what you’re doing, Luz. You’re going to try and pull something like this every night, aren’t you?!”

Luz just shrugged, trying to look innocent, but Amity didn’t buy it for a second. “You _promised_ me we could switch!” she exclaimed. “I never would have slept in the bed if I knew you were going to act like this. Come on, just let me take the air mattress! It’s only fair!”

Luz shook her head, her face set and determined. “No can do. This is where I’m sleeping. And I don’t mind, honestly. So will you please just take the bed?”

“No!” Amity practically growled. “I’m _not_ letting you spend another night on that air mattress! It isn’t fair for me to just take your bed from you!”

“It’s fair if I say it’s fair!”

“That’s _not_ how it works! You know what? Fine!” Amity huffed. “I can’t make you sleep in the bed, but I’m sure as hell not sleeping in it.”

“Oh yeah?” Luz asked, one eyebrow raised. “Where are you gonna sleep, then?”

“I’ll sleep on the floor.”

“You’re not serious! Come on Amity, be reasonable!”

“Try me,” Amity said, striding over to the bed and taking the pillow and comforter off it. She arranged them on the floor next to Luz, then lay down and wrapped the comforter around her, staring daggers at Luz the entire time.

Luz chuckled. “God, you’re stubborn.”

“Says you!” Amity exclaimed, glaring at her. “This could all have been avoided if you’d just taken the bed like you promised you would!”

“I don’t feel right, taking the bed and making you sleep on this thing,” Luz said, indicating the air mattress. “But you sleeping on the floor is even worse, so I guess I have no choice.” She sighed dramatically. “Alright, I concede defeat. You win.” Grudgingly, she got up and walked over to the bed, plopping herself down and giving Amity a decidedly unimpressed look.

Amity got up too, and gave her back the pillow and blanket. Then she settled down on the air mattress with a satisfied smile.

Luz stood up again to turn the light off, plunging the room into darkness. Amity could hear her fumbling her way back to the bed and crawling into it. Then, for a few blissful moments, complete and utter silence. Until…

“Ugh! I can’t sleep in this bed - I just _can’t_ ! It’s not right - you’re my guest! I feel like a terrible person. _Please_ can we switch back?”

Amity sighed. Loudly. “Luz, _no._ How do you think I’d feel, taking your bed from you every night? You promised we’d take turns, and that’s what we’re going to do.”

“But I can’t stand the thought of you sleeping on that air mattress!”

“Why not? _You_ did it.”

“Yeah, and it sucked,” Luz said frankly.

Amity had to laugh. “Well, you _know_ I’m definitely not going to switch with you now.”

“Fine, if you won’t take the bed, then _I’ll_ sleep on the floor,” Luz said, starting to get up.

“What? No, don’t be ridiculous!”

“Why not? You were going to do it.”

“Argh, why are you like this?!” Amity exclaimed in frustration. “You know what, if it matters that much to you, why don’t we _both_ take the bed?”

She blurted out the words without thinking, and when her brain caught up with her about ten seconds later, she blushed so hard her face felt like it was on fire. Amity had never been so thankful for the cover of darkness, because she must have looked like a tomato.

_I just asked my crush if I could sleep in her bed. With her. Both of us. In the bed. Together._

_Oh my god what did I just do?! Don’t freak out don’t freak out don’t freak out…_

Luz hadn’t yet said anything in response. The silence stretched on, and Amity could hear nothing but the pounding of her own heart. Now the darkness wasn’t her friend, because it prevented her from seeing Luz’s face. Although, maybe that was a good thing…

“Okay,” Luz said. Was her voice a little shaky, or was that Amity’s imagination?

“Okay?” she squeaked.

“Yeah, why not? It’s the only solution - we’re both too stubborn to agree to anything else.”

“Very true,” Amity replied sagely, recovering her equilibrium somewhat now that Luz didn’t appear to be upset. “You _are_ exceptionally stubborn.”

“Hey! You’re just as bad as me, and you know it,” Luz grumped, although Amity could tell she wasn’t actually annoyed. “Now, will you hurry up and get in here already? I want to go to sleep.”

“Okay, I’m coming,” she said, climbing off the air mattress and approaching the bed. “Scooch over.”

“I’m scooched.”

Carefully, Amity felt around for the covers, drawing them back so she could crawl in next to Luz. The bed wasn’t very large, and she tried to keep herself as small as possible, not wanting to invade the other girl’s space.

“You good?” Luz asked. “Got enough room?”

“I’m good.”

“Cool.”

Silence. Amity stared up at the ceiling, feeling the awkwardness increasing by the second. Her heart was pounding so hard she was afraid Luz might be able to hear it.

_What was I thinking?! This is a terrible idea!_

_Do I say anything? Do I just… go to sleep? How will I even sleep, knowing she’s RIGHT there?!_

“Goodnight, then,” Luz said eventually, interrupting Amity’s anxious spiral.

“Goodnight!” she said quickly, then rolled over to face away from Luz, taking deep breaths to try and calm herself down.

_This is fine. Friends sleep in the same bed all the time! Nothing weird about it._

Still, it took Amity a long time to drift off to sleep.

  
  


***

  
  


When Luz woke up, she was surrounded by warmth.

She opened her eyes, and saw that morning hadn’t yet come. The room was still pitch black, and a glance at the clock on her bedside table told her that it was three a.m.

As her eyes adjusted, Luz could just make out the faint outline of Amity, sleeping in the bed beside her. She smiled as she remembered their argument over sleeping arrangements - she’d known Amity was stubborn, but she hadn’t known that her crush was capable of being every bit as obstinate as her. To the point where she’d insisted on them both sharing the bed, if neither one would let the other take the air mattress.

Really, Luz should have suggested that option herself, because sharing a bed with Amity was a total win-win, if you asked her.

Speaking of Amity, the girl in question appeared to have rolled closer to Luz during the night. She wasn’t quite touching Luz, but her face was only inches away, and her soft breaths tickled Luz’s cheek.

Then, Amity shifted, making adorable little noises in her sleep. She snuggled even closer, until her face was practically buried in Luz’s neck, their arms and legs brushing against each other. Heart pounding, Luz did her best to remain as still as possible, not wanting to disturb her.

She tried her hardest not to think about the fact that Amity was basically cuddling her right now, but it was nearly impossible to think about anything else. 

_It doesn’t mean anything. She’s asleep - she doesn’t know what she’s doing. She’s probably just drawn to your body heat._

Even so, it was incredibly sweet, and Luz found herself softening, relaxing into her crush’s embrace. Lulled by Amity’s warmth and the softness of her hair against Luz’s cheek, it wasn’t long before sleep pulled her under again.

The next time Luz woke up, it was five a.m. Her throat felt parched, and she regretted not bringing a glass of water upstairs with her.

Amity had rolled away again, so Luz carefully extricated herself from the covers and climbed out of bed, taking great care not to wake her. When she’d managed that feat, she padded quietly across the room and opened the door as silently as possible, then crept down the stairs - making sure to avoid the creaky ones.

She reached the kitchen and flicked on the light, then got a glass out of the cupboard and filled it with water at the sink. She drained it quickly, and was on her second glass when she heard the sound of her mother’s bedroom door opening.

Luz turned around to see Camila walking towards her. “I’m sorry Mamá, did I wake you?” she asked quietly.

“No, I was already awake when I heard you come down,” her mother replied. “Everything okay, mija? It’s not like you to be up this early.”

“Yeah, everything’s fine. I was just thirsty,” Luz said, taking another sip of her water as if to prove the truth of her words. Camila watched, not looking entirely convinced.

“How are things going with Amity?” she asked, and Luz blushed fiercely, remembering how just moments ago, they’d been sharing a bed.

“W-what do you mean?” she squeaked.

“I mean, with her being here,” Camila clarified.

“Oh! Um, it’s going fine,” Luz said, feeling incredibly awkward.

_Well, actually I’m madly in love with her and I have no idea how to tell her, and she keeps doing and saying things which make me think that maybe she likes me too, but then again they’re also things that seem pretty normal for two friends as close as we are to say and do as well… not that I have much experience with having a close friend. So I have no idea where I stand and I’m too afraid to ask her in case it ruins our friendship, but other than that, it’s going great!_

Camila regarded her in silence for a moment. “Cariño,” she said eventually, “Is there something on your mind? Because I’m up now, if you want to talk.”

Luz felt a surge of affection for her mother. She and Camila hadn’t always understood each other perfectly when Luz was growing up, but right now her mother’s words were exactly what she needed to hear. An open invitation to talk, without any expectations.

And, well, Luz _had_ been hoping to talk to her mom while she was home. Right now they were both awake, and Amity was still asleep. There might not be a better opportunity.

“Okay,” she said. “Can we go into the living room?”

“Of course.”

They sat down on the couch, and Camila waited patiently while Luz collected her scattered thoughts.

“I like Amity,” she said eventually. “Like, I _really_ like her.”

“Ah. I see.” Camila didn’t look particularly surprised by the admission.

“You knew?”

“I guessed. I see the way you look at her, mija.” She smiled. “It’s obvious how much you care about her. And I can see why you do - she’s a lovely girl and she clearly cares for you as well.”

“I don’t think she cares for me in quite the same way that I care for her,” Luz said quietly.

“What makes you say that? Has she told you she’s not interested in girls?”

Luz shook her head. “No, she hasn’t explicitly said that she’s straight.” She didn’t tell her mother that she knew for a fact that Amity was gay - that wasn’t her secret to share. “I just… think she sees me as a friend. And that’s okay! We’re really close, and I love that. It’s enough - I don’t _need_ anything else.”

“But you want more.”

Luz shifted uncomfortably. “Well, yeah. But more than anything, I don’t want to ruin what we _do_ have.”

“Why do you think you would ruin it?” Camila asked, appearing genuinely confused.

Luz sighed. “I’m just afraid that if I told her how I felt and she… didn’t feel the same way, it might make things awkward between us. What if my feelings make her uncomfortable? That’s the last thing I want.”

“Cariño, look at me,” Camila said, and Luz did. Her mother was regarding her very seriously. “From what I’ve seen, and from what you’ve told me, your friendship with Amity is stronger than that.” She paused, letting her words sink in before continuing. “The two of you have been through a lot together, and I’d like to think that if you told Amity and she didn’t return your feelings, you would be able to have an honest conversation about it and move past it, while keeping your friendship intact. Now, correct me if I’m wrong, but Amity doesn’t seem like the kind of person who would just drop you because you told her you have feelings for her. Wouldn’t you agree?”

Luz had to admit that her mother had a point. Amity clearly valued their friendship, and Luz knew how much losing her previous friendship with Willow weighed on her. She was unlikely to just push Luz away, not without at least trying to make things work. Still…

“I think you’re right,” she said. “But the idea of telling her still terrifies me.”

Camila scooted closer on the couch, opening her arm in a clear invitation. Luz leaned in, resting her head on her mother’s shoulder while Camila gently rubbed her back.

“I know, sweetheart,” Camila said. “It _is_ terrifying to be that vulnerable with someone. It requires great courage. But you have always been brave, mija. And you know better than most that to live the life you want, sometimes you need to take risks. Otherwise, you’ll never know what might have been.”

“Thanks, Mami,” Luz said, hugging her mother and trying not to cry. She’d been right - Camila _had_ known exactly what to say, and this was a conversation she’d desperately needed.

Some time later, Luz snuck quietly back into her bedroom and curled up next to a still-sleeping Amity. She felt calmer and lighter than she had in weeks, and she was asleep almost as soon as her head hit the pillow.

  
  


***

  
  


On New Year’s Eve, it finally snowed.

“Hey Amity, look!” Luz exclaimed, pointing out of the window. “It’s snowing!”

It was early afternoon. They’d spent the morning at the library and had lunch at one of the few cafés in Bonesborough, before heading home once they felt the temperature start to drop. The weather report had indicated there was snow on the way, but it hadn’t been forecast to arrive until later in the evening.

Amity got up from the couch and joined Luz at the window, golden eyes shining as she looked out at the gently falling snow. 

“Does it ever snow in the city?” Luz asked.

“Sometimes,” Amity said. “But it usually happens overnight, or while we’re in classes. It’s nice to be able to just… sit here and watch it fall.”

Luz grinned at her. “We can do more than just watch it, you know.”

Amity gave her a flat look. “Luz, you know how I feel about the cold.”

“Aww, c’mon, Amity,” Luz pleaded, making puppy dog eyes. “It’ll be fun! And I’ve got a nice, warm, waterproof jacket you can borrow.”

Amity sighed in mock resignation. “Okay, fine. But the second I start to lose the feeling in my fingers, I’m coming back inside.”

“That’s fair,” Luz agreed.

They bundled up in warm layers - sweaters, scarves, gloves and hats. Luz wore the otter hat Amity had given her, and lent Amity one of her beanies. As promised, she also found a warm, waterproof coat for her crush to wear. Once they were sufficiently equipped to handle the cold, they headed out into the backyard, which was covered in a fresh dusting of the still-falling snow.

Luz rushed out into the middle of the yard and flung her arms out wide, spinning around with her head tilted up towards the sky. “Isn’t this great?” she exclaimed, reveling in the sensation of snowflakes gently kissing her cheeks. “It’s so magical. I’ve always thought so.”

Amity smiled, lifting her face to the heavens as well. “It _is_ pretty magical,” she said. “Even if I can already feel my nose turning red.”

Luz walked back over to her and pretended to examine Amity’s nose. “Nah, you’re fine. It’s been much redder than this before,” she teased. “This is only, like, a three out of five on the Amity scale of nose redness.”

“Luz!” Amity complained, gently shoving her away. Luz flailed dramatically, pretending to be off-balance, and collapsed to the ground in a heap.

She could hear Amity’s footsteps approaching, and soon her crush’s face appeared in her field of vision, looking down at her. “What are you doing down there?” Amity asked.

“Making snow angels,” Luz replied innocently, beginning to move her arms and legs in the required fashion. “Care to join me?”

“I hate to break it to you, but I’m not sure there’s enough snow for snow angels.”

“Shush, Amity, don’t ruin this for me. You already knocked me to the ground - what else am I supposed to do down here, but make snow angels?”

“I didn't _knock_ you to the ground,” Amity said, but she knelt down anyway, coming to rest on her back next to Luz.

“Well done, you’re almost there. Now, you just need to move your arms and legs like I’m doing.”

Amity frowned. “Do I have to? I feel silly.”

“No, you don’t have to,” Luz said. “But it’s okay to be silly sometimes. It’s fun.”

“You would know,” Amity snarked, but she was smiling.

Luz threw a handful of snow at her in retaliation. “Hey!” Amity exclaimed, grabbing her own handful of snow and flinging it at Luz. Before long they were rolling around on the grass, lobbing handfuls of frozen slush at each other until their hands and faces were stinging from the cold.

Eventually, Luz rolled onto her back, chest rising and falling quickly as she tried to catch her breath. “Truce?” she asked.

“Truce,” Amity agreed, lying on her back next to Luz. 

Luz glanced over at her, and saw that Amity was looking at her as well. Their faces were only inches apart - close enough that she could make out the flecks of darker gold in Amity’s eyes, and the snowflakes caught in her long lashes.

_God, she’s beautiful. I want to kiss her so much._

_I_ could _kiss her, right now. All I’d have to do is close the distance between us…_

Amity still held her gaze, her golden eyes looking deep into Luz’s brown ones. Slowly, Luz leaned in, watching carefully for Amity’s reaction…

The back door banged open suddenly, startling them both. Luz jolted up into a sitting position and saw her mother poking her head out of the doorway.

“Girls, I’m heading to work now!” Camila called. “There’s leftovers in the fridge, or there’s cash on the table if you want to order pizza or something. I’ll see you in the morning - have a good night!”

“Bye, Mamá,” Luz called weakly. “Have a good shift!”

As she listened to the sounds of her mother starting the car and backing it down the driveway, Luz risked a glance at Amity. The other girl’s expression was pretty unreadable - she couldn’t tell if Amity knew what she had been trying to do or not.

“I guess we should probably head back in,” she said at last, regretfully. The snow they’d flung at each other was starting to melt, and Luz could feel it dripping down the back of her neck. It was not a particularly pleasant sensation. “I think it's getting colder and we're both pretty," she gestured at their sodden clothes, "Drenched."

“You’re probably right,” Amity said, and was her voice a little higher, a little more breathless than usual? Or was Luz imagining things? “We should go in and dry off.”

Luz clambered up and offered her hand to Amity, helping to pull her to her feet. Her friend made a beeline for the house, clearly eager to change out of her wet clothes. Luz followed along more slowly. When she reached the doorway, she glanced behind her at the spot where they had lain side-by-side. 

The moment, whatever it had been, was gone - erased from existence by the steadily falling snow.

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did say it would be a Slow Burn XD
> 
> Feel free to yell at me in the comments, or on tumblr @justamitythings


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The girls are back at Hexside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again to RainbowBuddy for beta reading this for me!
> 
> TW for this chapter: mentions of bullying and weight

“Well, here we are,” Luz said, looking up at the tall, familiar building that had been her home for the past four months. “Back again.”

It had been a fun and relaxing winter break. But, apart from the moment in the snow on New Year’s Eve, their relationship hadn’t progressed in the way that Luz had hoped it might. 

After her mother’s unfortunately timed interruption, the rest of the evening had passed uneventfully. They had ordered pizza and watched movies, then ventured briefly outside to watch the fireworks, huddling together for warmth before rushing back in again to warm up with hot chocolate. After that, they’d gone to bed. In the same bed, sure, but apart from that it was all very… platonic. There hadn’t been another moment like the one in the snow - not that night, and not for the rest of the break. Luz was beginning to wonder if she’d imagined it.

And now here they were, back to reality, and she still hadn’t managed to confess. Nothing had ever felt right, and she’d second-guessed herself, and then suddenly the break was over and her time was up.

Well, okay, her time wasn’t _up,_ exactly, but she _was_ starting to have doubts about this whole confessing business. What if she’d been right about it not being such a good idea? She and Amity were _roommates,_ after all. If Luz admitted to having feelings that Amity didn’t return, then, well, they still had to share a room for the rest of the year. That was bound to be awkward for both of them, even if they did manage to keep their friendship intact. And Luz didn’t want to put Amity in that position. She hated the idea of making her friend feel uncomfortable around her.

Maybe it was better to wait until the end of the school year, when at least the whole living together thing would no longer be an issue.

“Shall we, then?” Amity asked, motioning to the large automatic doors. Luz realized that she was still standing there staring up at them and, with a nod, she followed Amity inside. 

They took the lift up to level 5, and then made their way down the hall to their room. Amity unlocked the door, and Luz followed her in, glancing around her as they entered the familiar space.

“Feels like coming home,” she said, a little surprised to find that that was the case. She’d grown more attached than she’d realized to this tiny dorm room - which, admittedly, almost certainly had a lot more to do with the person she shared it with than with the room itself.

“It does,” Amity agreed. “I had a great time at your house, but I’m glad to be back. I’m ready to get back to dancing.”

“Me too!” Luz said enthusiastically. “It was nice to have some time off, especially after Nutcracker, but now I miss it.”

Amity’s lips quirked upwards in agreement. “It’s been a long time since I actually missed ballet,” she admitted. “It feels good.”

“Hey, that’s great!” Luz exclaimed. “I’m glad you’re feeling excited about it again.”

Amity shrugged, looking embarrassed by the attention. “We’ll see how long it lasts. Mom’s back from Europe this week, and I’m sure she’ll be hovering over me again in no time, draining all the joy out of my life like the emotional vampire she is.”

Luz frowned. Amity said these kinds of things so casually, as if it were perfectly normal to have a parent that made you feel miserable all the time. Luz simply could not imagine what that must be like - to be constantly under the watchful eye of a woman who only cared about her success as a ballet dancer, and who would literally force her to end friendships if it seemed like they were getting in the way of that success. 

It was no way to live, that was for sure. She’d seen firsthand how tense Amity got whenever her mother was around and it amazed her that Odalia Blight didn’t seem to notice. Didn’t she care about her daughter’s health and happiness at all? Or was she really so self-absorbed that she viewed her children only as carbon-copies of herself, who would go out into the world and achieve the ballet dreams she never did, rather than individuals with their own wants and needs?

“Have you ever thought about maybe… asking her to back off?” Luz asked carefully, not wanting to upset Amity. She knew this was a touchy subject.

Amity sighed. “I have considered it, yes. I just… I know what she’d say. She’d say she’s just looking out for me and my future career and that she only wants what’s best for me. She has no idea how awful the things she says are, or how unhappy she makes me feel - she actually thinks we have a great relationship,” she said, laughing wryly. 

“I’d have to really get into it with her, to make her understand, and I don’t think I’m quite ready to do that yet,” Amity continued. “The thought of standing up to her still scares me. And this is my last year of school - hopefully at the end of it I’ll be in the company and she’ll back off a little. Gritting my teeth and bearing it for these last few months seems preferable to a huge blowout that would probably alienate me from my entire family.” 

“You don’t think your siblings would side with you?” Luz asked, surprised. “Doesn’t your mom treat them the same way?”

“To a degree, she does,” Amity replied. “But ballet has always come so easily to them. Everything has. They’re the golden children,” she said, rolling her eyes, “And I’m the one who has to live up to their shining example.”

Luz hesitated for a moment, considering Amity’s words and what she knew of the twins. There was something there that just… wasn’t quite making sense to her. 

“It sucks that you’ve been made to feel that way,” she said eventually. “But, you know, Amity, when we first met I definitely made similar assumptions about you.”

Amity narrowed her eyes in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“Well,” Luz explained, “Everyone said you were the best dancer in the school, and when I saw you dance for the first time it was obvious that they were right. I struggled for weeks to catch up technique-wise, as you know, and I definitely felt jealous of you at times. You were just so perfect - it seemed like _everything_ was easy for you.”

Luz ducked her head, a little embarrassed by the admission. “I know better now, of course,” she continued. “I see how hard you work. You’re the best because you’ve earned it.” She smiled at Amity, who smiled back. “Anyway, the point I was trying to make is - maybe you don’t know the full story. Maybe your siblings have struggled with things too, but, like you, they were just really good at hiding it.”

Amity was silent for a few moments, lost in thought. Luz hoped she hadn’t pushed too far - she knew Amity’s family was a sensitive subject and, to be honest, it wasn’t really any of her business. But she liked Edric and Emira, and she sensed that underneath all the teasing, they really cared about their sister.

“You know what? You might be right,” Amity said at last, with a wry smile. “I never really thought about it that way before.”

Luz beamed at her, feeling proud of her friend. Just then, her phone chimed, effectively ending that particular thread of conversation. She checked it quickly and saw that she had a text from Willow.

**Willow: Hey, you guys back yet?**

“It’s just Willow, asking if we’re back,” she explained to Amity as she typed out a quick response.

**Me: Yeah, just got here**

**Willow: Nice. Are you free now? Want to come up? I’m dying to hear all about your break ;)**

Luz frowned at the winky face. What, exactly, was Willow implying?

_Does she think we....?_

If so, it was probably best to set the record straight as soon as possible. She opened her mouth to tell Amity that Willow had invited her to come over.

“You should go see her,” Amity said, before Luz had managed to get a single word out. 

“I was planning to,” Luz said. “Do you want to come?” She felt like she needed to extend the invitation, although, just this once, she kind of hoped Amity would decline. If Willow assumed they were in a relationship, the two of them showing up together would almost certainly lead to some awkward moments that she would rather avoid if she could.

“No, you go ahead,” Amity said quietly. “Things are still pretty… awkward, between us.”

“Okay,” Luz said. “But, you know, things aren’t going to improve if you never spend any time together.”

“I know, and I plan on making more of an effort now that we’re back at Hexside,” Amity assured her. “I just think you should go alone today. You haven’t seen each other in a few weeks and I don’t want to get in the way of your reunion.”

She smiled, but Luz could tell she was sad. “Okay,” she said, “But will you at least come have dinner with us later?”

Amity promised she would and Luz texted Willow to let her know she was coming, then headed out. 

When she reached Willow’s room, she was surprised to discover that it was just the two of them. 

“Where’s Gus?” she asked. Normally, wherever Willow was, Gus was as well.

“I don’t think he’s back yet,” Willow said, with a dismissive shrug. Clearly, Gus’ whereabouts was not a subject of particular interest to her right now. “So, how was your break?” she asked. “Tell me everything! Are you and Amity - you know?”

Luz raised an eyebrow. “Are we _what,_ exactly?”

“You know,” Willow hesitated, lowering her voice. “Together.”

Luz sighed, dropping her head into her hands. “So you know I like her then. Crap, I really _am_ obvious, aren’t I?”

“Kinda, yeah,” Willow said. “I’ve known since the Halloween party.”

Luz just stared at her, dumbfounded. “Well, you knew before me then,” she managed at last. “Guess I’d better add ‘oblivious’ to the list as well!”

Willow laughed. Luz didn’t see what was so funny. She couldn’t believe she’d apparently liked Amity since before the Halloween party, and she hadn’t even realized it until a month later!

“So… _are_ you?” Willow asked again, and Luz realized she’d never explicitly answered the question.

“No,” she sighed. “We’re not.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. I thought about telling her how I felt, and there _was_ a moment where… where I almost kissed her,” Luz admitted, looking up at Willow.

“What happened?” Willow asked.

Luz shrugged. “We got interrupted, and then neither of us ever brought it up again. I don’t know if she even knew that was what I was trying to do.”

Willow narrowed her eyes. “Well, you could just ask her. Or, y’know, just _tell_ her how you feel.”

“It’s not that simple!”

“Why not?!”

“Because I’m scared!” Luz exclaimed. “I’m scared that she won’t feel the same way and that even if our friendship survives me having feelings, it _won’t_ survive the combination of me having feelings and us having to live together for the rest of the year. Can you imagine having to go to sleep in the same room as someone every night, knowing that they have a massive crush on you and you just don’t feel the same way? The last thing I want is for her to feel uncomfortable around me.”

Willow sighed. “I get that, but - does that mean you’re _never_ going to tell her?”

“No,” Luz said. “I’ll tell her when the school year is over.”

Her friend gave her a flat look, clearly unimpressed. “So you’ll tell her at the last possible moment, before potentially splitting up and going to dance at different companies?”

“Well, I hope that we’ll both get into the company here.”

“Okay, sure,” Willow said. “But there are no guarantees. What if you and Amity get into different companies? What if you tell her and she _does_ return your feelings? Then you’ve wasted all that time you could have been spending together as a couple! Besides, the end of the school year is like six months away. Do you really think you can wait that long?”

Luz groaned, collapsing back onto Willow’s bed. “Honestly? I have no idea.”

  
  


***

  
  


_Here we go, back to this again,_ Amity thought, as she and Luz entered the studio on Monday morning for their Technique class with Lilith. 

_The last time I was in this studio was… wow. Early October._

Well, her time dancing with the company was over - for the moment, at least. Now it was time to throw herself back into her Hexside classes, and re-establish her position as the best dancer in the school.

_Or maybe co-best dancer,_ she amended, glancing over at Luz. _I wouldn’t mind sharing the title._

Lilith walked into the room then, clapping her hands to get the attention of the students.

“Welcome back, girls,” she said. “I trust you all had a good break and that you kept up your fitness over the holidays and refrained from… overindulgence.”

She cast a disapproving eye over the lot of them and Amity felt herself shrinking from it, folding her arms over her stomach guiltily in an attempt to hide. She and Luz had done absolutely _nothing_ to maintain their fitness over the last two weeks. In fact, she’d barely even thought about ballet the whole time she’d been away.

_There were other things to think about,_ she reminded herself, glancing over at Luz again. _Things like sleeping in the same bed as my crush and that moment in the snow where it almost seemed like she was about to…_

Amity felt her cheeks grow pink at the memory. Making snow angels, the impromptu snowball fight and the way Luz had looked at her, staring deep into her eyes as they lay side-by-side... 

In that moment, she’d felt _something_ between them - a sense of suspended time, like the whole world was holding its breath. 

Then Luz had started to lean in, but before Amity could work out if she actually intended to kiss her or not, they’d been interrupted. And they hadn’t spoken about it since.

So, yes, she’d had a lot on her mind. But even taking all of that into consideration, it wasn’t like her to neglect her training. She should have been doing Pilates and stretching, at the very least.

_Hopefully I haven’t lost too much strength. In any case, I guess I’m about to find out._

Ninety minutes later, exhausted and dripping with sweat, Amity was forced to conclude that her level of fitness had indeed suffered. Lilith definitely did not go easy on them and Amity was sweating before they’d even finished barre. When Lilith instructed them to end class with grand jetés across the floor, it was all she could do to keep from groaning aloud.

Still, there was nothing to do but grit her teeth and push through her exhaustion. She couldn’t afford to show weakness - the last thing she wanted was for Lilith to notice she was having an off day and speak to her mother about it.

“Oh boy,” Luz said, as they were exiting the studio. “That was rough.” She took a long swig of water from her drink bottle, then offered it to Amity.

Amity just stared at it, her brain momentarily ceasing to function. _That’s… her lips just touched that, and she wants me to…_

Before she could reach out and take it, Luz withdrew her arm, hastily putting the cap back on the bottle and returning it to her dance bag. “Sorry,” she said, with an embarrassed smile. “You’ve got your own bottle, don’t you?”

Amity held it up with a weak smile, wishing, absurdly, that she’d forgotten to bring it.

Standing behind Luz was Willow, who caught Amity’s eye and gave her a knowing look. 

_Oh, god. She knows, doesn’t she?_

The awkwardness was interrupted when Boscha suddenly pushed past them, knocking Willow off balance. “Get out of my way,” she said, glaring at Willow and Luz. Then, she spotted Amity. “Amity, what are you doing with these losers?”

“They’re my friends,” Amity said firmly, crossing her arms over her chest and meeting Boscha stare for stare.

Boscha rolled her eyes. “Come on, Amity, stop messing around. Let’s go”

“I wasn’t joking,” Amity replied. “You go on ahead - I’m happy where I am.” 

“Fine!” Boscha huffed irritably. “If you want to ruin your social life, be my guest!” She strode off quickly in the opposite direction, Skara furiously scurrying in her wake.

Amity had to laugh. _Ruin my social life, indeed._

The rest of the day passed smoothly enough. At lunch, Amity tentatively approached the table where Luz, Willow, and Gus sat, having effectively burned her bridges with Boscha. All three greeted her with welcoming smiles, and Amity took that as a win.

Boscha sent scathing looks in Amity’s direction during mealtimes over the next few days, but there were no further confrontations. Until Thursday, when Amity walked into the changing rooms to find Boscha cornering Willow.

“I see someone had a good Christmas,” Boscha said, her lips curling into a sneer as she pointedly eyed Willow’s figure. “I’m honestly surprised your pas de deux partner can still lift you.”

Willow was ignoring her, refusing to meet her gaze as she quickly gathered up her things. But when she tried to leave, Boscha got in her way, trapping her. “Why are you even still here, _Park_ ?” she hissed. “You’re just wasting your time. Everyone knows you’d have to lose at least ten pounds before any artistic director would even _consider_ hiring you.”

Amity’s face flushed and her blood ran cold, her hands balling into fists. Before she knew what she was doing, her feet were carrying her forward of their own accord.

“Wow, Boscha,” she drawled, as she approached them, “Could you _be_ any more transparent?”

Boscha whirled to face her, startled. Clearly, she hadn’t heard Amity come in.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said, staring down her nose at Amity, who simply quirked an eyebrow in response.

“No? Because it’s pretty obvious to me what’s going on here,” she said. “Anyone with eyes can see that Willow is a better dancer than you, and you’re jealous.”

Boscha’s eyes widened in fury. “I am _not_ jealous of _Park_!”

“Oh, so you’re just a bitch, then?”

Boscha just stared at her for a moment. “What _happened_ to you?!” she exclaimed eventually. “You used to be cool, but now you’re defending losers like Park and Noceda.”

Anger swelled in Amity’s chest at the mention of Luz, but she forced herself to remain calm. “I grew up,” she said. “Maybe you should consider doing the same.” 

Boscha rolled her eyes. “I don’t need to take this crap from you,” she said, striding towards the exit. She attempted to push past Amity, but Amity reached out and put a hand on her arm, stopping her. 

“I’m serious, Boscha. If I ever catch you bullying Willow, or Luz, or anyone else in our class again, I’m reporting you to Bump,” she said, in a tone that brooked no argument.

Boscha scoffed. “Is that meant to scare me? It’s just your word against mine.”

“True,” Amity said. “Your word, against the word of a Blight. My parents donate a lot of money to this school, Boscha. Who do _you_ think Bump will believe?”

She hated pulling the Blight card, but in this case, Boscha deserved it.

Her former friend paled slightly. Snarling in frustration, she tore her arm from Amity’s grasp and stormed out of the room.

With a _whoosh,_ Amity let out the breath she’d been holding.

“Thanks,” Willow said, startling her. She’d been so absorbed in the confrontation with Boscha, she’d almost forgotten the other girl was still there.

“No problem,” she said, turning to face her. “She needed to be taken down a peg. Honestly, I should have done it years ago.”

“Probably,” Willow replied, “But it’s still appreciated.”

Amity hesitated. “Has she… done this kind of thing to you often?”

Willow shrugged. “Yeah, pretty often.”

“I didn’t know.”

“It was always when you weren’t around. I think she knows that we used to be friends.”

“I’m sorry,” Amity said. “I should have known. I knew she bullied others, and I should have… I should have put a stop to it a long time ago.”

“Maybe so,” Willow said. “But you did now, and that's what matters.” She smiled. “Hey, do you remember when I said that I needed you to prove to me that you had changed, before we could be friends again?”

Amity nodded.

“Well… the old Amity wouldn’t have stood up to Boscha like that.”

Amity had to admit that that was true. “So does this mean… we’re friends again?” she asked tentatively.

“I wouldn’t go quite that far,” Willow said. “But this is definitely progress.” She hoisted her dance bag over her shoulder and walked past Amity to the door, but stopped just shy of opening it. Turning to face Amity again, she asked, “Hey, your birthday is January 28th, right?”

“Uh, yeah, it is,” Amity replied, confused. “Why?”

“No reason,” Willow said, and left the room, closing the door behind her.

Amity stared after her, wondering what that was about. She had a sneaking suspicion that whatever it was, she wasn’t going to like it.

  
  


***

  
  


“Amity!” Luz exclaimed, as she burst into their shared room later that evening, “You didn’t tell me it was your birthday in a couple of weeks!”

Well, there it was.

_Goddammit, Willow! Couldn’t you have just stayed quiet about it?_

Amity shrugged uneasily. “I didn’t think it was that important. Birthdays aren’t really a big deal in my family.”

“What?!” Luz exclaimed, approaching Amity where she sat on the bed. Taking Amity’s desk chair, she swiveled it around and straddled the back, folding her arms across the top of the chair and resting her chin on them as she stared at Amity in disbelief. “It’s a _huge_ deal,” she continued. “You’re turning _eighteen_! Amity, you’re about to become a legal adult! You’ll be able to vote and everything!”

Amity scooted back on the bed, away from the onslaught of exuberance. Of course, _Luz_ would think it was a big deal - Luz thought everything was a big deal. Amity loved that about her, but right now she was finding it a little overwhelming.

“I guess so,” she said, glancing away in discomfort. “But I don’t really see it that way. It’s always felt like just another day to me.”

“You mean you’re not even going to celebrate?” Luz asked, eyes wide.

Amity shrugged her shoulders again, looking down at her feet. “I don’t, usually. I… don’t really have many good memories associated with my birthday.”

Luz extricated herself from the chair, coming to sit beside her on the bed. “What do you mean?” she asked quietly, looking at Amity with eyes full of concern.

“Oh, it’s not like anything really bad ever happened,” Amity rushed to assure her. “It’s just…” She sighed. “It’s nothing, really. My parents usually take me out to dinner for my birthday, which should be nice, in theory. But it’s always at some fancy restaurant that they’ve picked out, never somewhere that I choose.” 

Amity hesitated, trying to figure out the best way to phrase what she wanted to say. “I’ve always sort of felt like… like I’m just an accessory to their lives,” she said eventually. “Like they don’t see me as my own person.” She looked up at Luz. “Does that make sense?”

Luz nodded gravely. “It does. That sounds awful, Ams. I’m so sorry they’ve made you feel that way,” she said, placing a sympathetic hand on Amity’s shoulder. 

Perhaps she should have been surprised to discover that even after all this time - even after sleeping in the same bed together - the simple touch still set her heart racing. But she wasn’t - not really. She’d accepted that Luz would probably always have this effect on her.

“But that shouldn’t mean you can’t celebrate,” Luz continued, giving Amity’s shoulder a little squeeze. “You can celebrate on your own terms! Reclaim your birthday from your stupid parents. Who are total idiots, by the way, if they can’t see how amazing you are.”

Amity smiled weakly. “Thanks, Luz. But there’s nothing I really _want_ to do. I don’t like birthday parties, and I hate being the center of attention. It’s easier to just ignore it, like I’ve done every other year.”

“I get that,” Luz said. “But if you’re not sure what you want to do, why don’t you let me plan something?”

“I don’t know, Luz…”

Luz turned on the puppy dog eyes, which, frankly, should be illegal. “Please?” she begged. “I can’t let my best friend’s birthday go uncelebrated.”

_Best friend._

That shouldn’t hurt, but it did.

“Luz, I just said: I don’t want a party.”

“Not a party! I’ll think of something else we can do. Something fun - something where you won’t have to be the center of attention.” Luz took one of Amity’s hands in her own, and Amity tried to ignore the way it made her heart flutter. “Please, Amity? Let me do this for you.”

Amity sighed. She never could say no to Luz, especially not when puppy dog eyes were involved. “Okay. But no parties allowed.”

“No parties. I promise,” Luz said, an excited grin lighting up her face. “Oh, I already have so many ideas! I hope you’re ready for the best birthday of your life!”

Amity groaned audibly, dropping her head into her hands.

_What did I just get myself into?_

  
  


***

  
  


On Saturday, January 30th, Luz woke up early. A rare occurrence, to be sure, but she was simply too excited to sleep in.

_Today’s the day!_

Amity’s actual birthday had been on Thursday, two days prior. Luz had given her a cupcake to mark the occasion, as well as a present - a matching hat, scarf and gloves in a deep forest green that she knew Amity liked.

“So you won’t have to borrow mine, next time you visit,” she’d said when Amity opened them, and Amity had smiled and immediately tried them on.

It had been a good day. But today - today was the day they were really going to celebrate.

Luz had kept Amity completely in the dark about her plans for today, despite her crush’s repeated attempts to wheedle the truth out of her. She wanted it to be a surprise, although it certainly hadn’t been an easy secret to keep. It had taken every ounce of self-control she had not to give in to Amity’s continued pleas for information, but she’d managed to stay firm.

So when the time came for them to leave, the only clue she gave Amity was an instruction to dress warmly. 

Amity quirked an eyebrow at her. “Dress warmly? That’s all the information I’m getting?”

“Yep!” Luz said brightly. “Actually, I recommend lots of layers, because you won’t need to be dressed quite so warmly later on.”

Amity narrowed her eyes. “I’m getting the sense that there are multiple components to this birthday celebration. Luz, you didn’t go overboard, did you?”

“No, I didn’t! Scout’s honor,” Luz said, putting her hand over her heart.

“I think you’re supposed to hold up your hand in a three finger salute when you say that.”

“I was never a Girl Scout, okay! Just hurry up and get changed already, or we’ll be late to meet the others,” Luz said, steering Amity in the direction of her closet.

“Others?” Amity asked, suspicious. “What others?”

“Willow and Gus, of course! And, uh, Edric and Emira, as well.”

Amity turned to her in horror. “You invited _them_? Why?!”

“They’re your siblings, Amity! They want to celebrate with you!”

“Sure they do,” Amity muttered darkly.

“Just, give them a chance, okay?” Luz pleaded. “They were really excited.”

Amity sighed dramatically. “Oh, all right. But the second either of them calls me Mittens, they’re out of there.”

“Totally fair,” Luz said, hastily composing a text to Emira when Amity wasn’t looking.

Once Amity was finally ready, decked out in the scarf, hat and gloves that Luz had given her, the two of them headed downstairs. In the foyer, they met up with Willow, Gus, Edric and Emira, who were already there waiting for them.

“Hey, there’s the birthday girl!” Edric greeted them. “Happy birthday, M-”

Luz caught his eye and shook her head rapidly.

“-Amity!”

_Phew! That was close._

With everyone present and accounted for, the six of them set off, walking in a large group with Luz leading the way. Their first stop wasn’t all that far from Hexside.

About twenty minutes later, they arrived at their destination - an ice skating rink Luz had read about online after searching for “winter birthday activities”. “Ta da!” Luz exclaimed, pointing at the sign. “We’re going ice skating for your birthday!”

Amity’s eyes widened. “Oh? Fun!” she said, but she sounded nervous.

“What’s wrong?” Luz asked. “Don’t you like ice skating?”

“No, no, I do!” Amity said quickly. “It’s just… I haven’t been in years. I’m probably going to fall on my butt and make a fool of myself.”

“Amity, you’re a ballet dancer,” Willow reminded her. “You have excellent balance - I’m sure you won’t fall.”

“And if you do, who cares?” Luz added. “It’s about having fun, and trying something new. You don’t have to be perfect at it.”

“Yeah, lighten up, sis,” Emira agreed.

Amity looked around at each of them in turn, and they all smiled encouragingly at her. “You’re right,” she said at last. “It’ll be fun. But… will you stay close to me?” she asked, directing that last part at Luz.

“You can hold on to me the whole time, if you want,” Luz said, pointedly ignoring Willow’s and Emira’s knowing looks.

They went up to the counter to pay for admission and rent skates. Luz insisted on paying for Amity, despite her protests. The six of them quickly put their skates on and then headed out to the rink. Luz and Amity brought up the rear, Amity keeping one hand on Luz’s shoulder for balance.

The others glided off smoothly as soon as they reached the ice, but Luz could tell that Amity was still really nervous. “Let’s just go slow,” she said, “And stay close to the railing.” Amity nodded in agreement, still clutching Luz’s shoulder.

They made it about halfway around the rink with no issues, but Luz could still feel the tension radiating off of Amity. “You’re doing great, Ams,” she said encouragingly. “Want to try going a little faster?”

Amity nodded, her face set in determination, and Luz gradually began increasing their pace. Amity kept up with her and Luz was delighted to see a smile start to form on her face, as she began to enjoy herself.

She paid for her moment of distraction, though. Luz was so busy looking at Amity’s smile that she didn’t see the young boy heading her way until he was almost upon her. Luz frantically slammed on the breaks, sinking into her heels to slow herself down and avoid a collision. 

Unfortunately, Amity was still holding on to her - and she wasn’t slowing down. Suddenly, Luz was being pulled forward as Amity, who’d also been thrown off balance, tightened her grip in an attempt to right herself. But that only further destabilized Luz and, moments later, they were both crashing to the floor in a heap.

Suddenly, Amity’s face was inches from her own. Luz realized that she had fallen on top of her. “Sorry!” she exclaimed, feeling the heat rise in her cheeks as she pushed herself up and scrambled backwards, off of Amity. “Are you okay?” she asked worriedly.

“Yeah, I’m okay,” Amity said, sitting up. “Sorry, Luz - I shouldn’t have dragged you down with me.”

“Oh no, it was my fault!” Luz exclaimed. “There was a kid coming and I didn’t see him in time, so I had to hit the breaks fast. You were doing great, and I threw you off balance. I’m so sorry,” she said, blinking back tears. She’d really messed up this time. Amity had been so worried about falling, and now, because of Luz, she had. 

_You went overboard again, just like you always do. Amity was nervous about ice skating, and you made her do it anyway even though it’s_ her _birthday, and now you’ve gone and ruined it for her, just when she was starting to have fun._

_Why are you always so over the top? Why can’t you just be normal, for once?_

_Maybe those kids at school were right about you._

“Hey, it’s okay,” Amity said, looking into Luz’s eyes with gentle concern. Luz glanced away, ashamed. “Luz, look at me. What’s wrong? I’m fine, you’re fine. No harm done.”

“I promised I wouldn’t let you fall,” Luz said, around the lump in her throat.

“Hey, it wasn’t so bad,” Amity replied. “Kind of… freeing, in a way. Now that I’ve fallen once, I don’t have to worry about it anymore.”

Luz gazed at her, surprised. “You’re not upset with me?”

Amity’s eyes widened. “Of course not! Why would I be?”

Luz sniffled, surreptitiously wiping the tears from her eyes. “Because it’s my fault you fell. Because I took you ice skating, without asking if you even _liked_ ice skating. I wanted it to be a surprise, but… I should have checked first. I’m sorry.”

Amity scooted closer, putting her hands on Luz’s shoulders. “Luz, stop apologizing. I know I was nervous about it before, but this is actually pretty fun.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

“Good. I was worried you hated it.”

“Not at all,” Amity assured her. “And in fact, I’d like to get back to it, so could you please help me up?” she asked, with a teasing smile.

Luz let out a shaky laugh, rising to her feet and offering her hand to Amity. Once they were both upright, they started skating again, as if nothing had happened. Amity held on to Luz the entire time, even when Luz sensed she no longer needed the support.

  
  


***

  
  


By the time they finished ice skating, Amity was cold and tired and a little sore, but elated. She’d ended up having way more fun than she expected, particularly once she stopped worrying so much about falling. And best of all, the activity had provided her with the perfect excuse to stay close to Luz.

Luz informed the group that their next stop was a restaurant a couple of blocks away and they quickly changed back into their street shoes, returned their skates and then set off once more, following her lead.

When they arrived at their destination, Amity immediately recognized it. It was a Thai place that had opened up recently and she had made an offhand comment to Luz a couple of weeks ago about wanting to try it. 

_I’m surprised she even remembered that._

She smiled at her roommate, who smiled back, eyes shining.

Luz had made a reservation and they were immediately shown to their table. Amity sat down between Luz and Emira, feeling utterly content.

_This is a good birthday._

Willow was here, which meant a lot, and even her siblings were being nice to her. They’d managed to refrain from calling her Mittens for the entire day, although there had been a couple of close calls.

And then there was Luz. Luz, who had planned all of this for her, simply because she wanted to. Simply because she cared about Amity.

Just when Amity thought it wasn’t possible to love Luz any more than she already did, her crush went and pulled something like this.

There was only one thing spoiling her perfect enjoyment of this moment, and that was the fact that she really needed to use the bathroom.

Amity quickly excused herself from the table and hurried to the ladies’ room, sighing in relief at finding it empty. When she emerged from the stall, though, she was no longer alone. Her sister stood next to the sink, smirking at her.

Amity groaned, brushing past Emira so that she could wash her hands. “I knew today was too good to be true,” she said. “What do you want?”

“Hey, no need to be so defensive, _Ams,_ ” Emira said, and Amity felt her cortisol levels spike at her sister’s use of Luz’s nickname for her. “I just want to know what’s going on between you and Luz, that’s all,” she continued, sounding far too smug.

“What?” Amity asked, trying - and failing - to remain calm. “I- I don’t know what you’re talking about. There’s nothing going on between me and Luz.”

Lord, but she hated how defensive she sounded.

“Sure there isn’t,” Emira drawled. She was having entirely too much fun with this. “You just spent Christmas and the entire winter break at her house and clung to her all day today at the ice skating rink, because you’re _such good friends_.”

Amity turned towards her sister, planting her hands on her hips and trying to ignore the panic steadily rising in her chest. “I don’t know what you think you saw, but Luz and I _are_ just friends,” she said, trying to sound firm. But her voice shook, betraying her.

Emira must have sensed her rising panic, because her expression softened. “Amity,” she said, “I’m not dating Jerbo.”

“You’re not?” Amity asked, thrown off by the abrupt change in topic. “Then why-”

“I’m dating Viney.”

“Viney, what do you mean you’re-”

_Oh._

“You’re gay?” Amity asked, quiet and disbelieving.

Emira nodded. “And I get the sense, watching you with Luz… that maybe you are too?” 

Her voice was gentle, reassuring. Amity didn’t know how to react. She was trembling all over.

“Am I wrong?” her sister asked, so, so gently.

Slowly, Amity shook her head. The next thing she knew, she was crying in Emira’s arms while her sister stroked her hair and made soothing noises. They were briefly interrupted when someone else tried to enter the bathroom, but Emira’s glare sent them packing.

When she’d calmed down enough to get her thoughts in order, Amity remembered her brother.

“Wait, so is Ed-”

“He’s dating Jerbo, yeah.”

“So he’s gay, too?”

“Yep,” Emira confirmed. “We all are, apparently. All three of us. Take that, Mom and Dad.”

Amity had to laugh.

“Come on,” her sister said gently, “Let’s get you cleaned up. Luz and the others are waiting for us.”

Amity dried her tears and splashed some water on her face. Emira helped her touch up her makeup, hiding all evidence that she’d been crying. Then, the two of them returned to the table. Their food had arrived while they’d been gone, and the sight of it made her realize that she was famished.

It was like it had been last time, when she’d come out to Luz. Amity felt lighter, freer, and closer to her sister than she ever had before. They were the same. All three of them were the same.

She’d been wrong about the twins. They weren’t perfect - they’d been hiding things from Mom and Dad too. 

_Luz was right,_ she thought, remembering the conversation they’d had on the day they returned to Hexside after winter break. 

Luz smiled at her as she sat down and offered Amity a taste of her food, and Amity just couldn’t stop thinking about how lucky she was to have a friend like her. Even if nothing more ever happened between them, this… this was enough. Luz made her feel more loved than anyone ever had before, even if it wasn’t the kind of love she wanted it to be.

Later on, they ordered dessert and Amity’s arrived with a candle in it. “I told them not to sing,” Luz whispered in her ear, her breath making Amity shiver, “Since I know you didn’t want to be the center of attention. But I still wanted you to be able to make a wish.”

Amity reached for Luz’s hand under the table, and gave it a squeeze. “Thank you,” she said, feeling a little choked up.

Leaning forward, she blew out the candle, and made her wish.

_Please, let us both get into the company. I don’t need Luz to love me the way I love her - I just need to have her in my life. I don’t know what I would do without her._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You all: Omg PLEASE let them kiss on New Year's
> 
> Me: Um, about that. Actually, we're skipping ahead to when they're back at school, and also Luz now wants to wait until the end of the year to tell Amity how she feels...
> 
> You all: -_-
> 
> I'm sorry - please don't be too mad at me! XD I promise it won't actually take them until the end of the year.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luz and Amity attend a Valentine's Day party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Update: this chapter now includes fan art by the amazing @chaosbicycle on tumblr! :)

_Valentine’s Day Social. Join us on February 14th at 8 p.m. in the Hexside Common Room._

_Don’t forget to bring that special someone!_

Luz gazed forlornly at the poster, which had recently appeared on the bulletin board in the hallway outside her dorm room. It wasn’t the first time she’d seen it - over the past couple of days, identical posters had started materializing in the lifts, the dining hall, even in some of the ballet studios. At this point, it felt like Luz couldn’t walk two feet in any direction without having cheesy romance forced down her throat. And Valentine’s Day was still a full week away!

She glared at the poster, hoping it could sense how deeply unimpressed she was with its presence. The last thing she needed right now was a constant reminder of her complete and total inability to actually ask her crush out.

_Don’t forget to bring that special someone!_

It felt like the poster was mocking her.

Luz briefly considered tearing it down, but her lack of success in the romance department wasn’t really the poster’s fault. Leaving it where it was, she continued on to her dorm room, trying to ignore the little voice in her head telling her that she was a coward for not just coming clean to Amity about her feelings.

That particular voice in her head sounded suspiciously like a combination of Willow, her mother, and Emira Blight.

“Hey,” she greeted Amity as she entered the room. Her crush was at her desk, doing something on her computer. “How was your afternoon? Did you finish that schoolwork you wanted to get done?”

“Oh, hey you,” Amity said, swiveling round in her chair to face her, “Yeah, just about. How was your day? What did you get up to with Willow and Gus?”

“Not a lot, really. We just wandered around the city for a bit,” Luz replied. “Willow wanted to find something to wear to that Valentine’s Day thing next weekend, so we hit up a few stores,” she continued, watching Amity carefully. 

“Oh, yeah. That thing,” Amity said. Luz thought she saw a slight frown on her friend’s face, but it was gone before she could be sure. “Willow’s planning on going, then?” she asked.

“Yeah, she is,” Luz said. “Were, uh, were you... thinking of going?” 

Amity’s eyes widened, and Luz thought she saw a glimmer of something - hope, maybe? - in their golden depths. 

_You’re probably just imagining things._

“I don’t know,” Amity said. “It’s not like I have anyone to go with.”

“I’m pretty sure dates aren’t required,” Luz said, shrugging her shoulders. “I don’t think Willow is going with anyone in particular.”

“No, I know,” Amity replied, dropping her chin into her hands with a sigh. “It’s just… it would be nice, you know? To have someone to go with.”

“I know what you mean,” Luz said carefully. “I’ve never had anyone to go to things with, either.”

“You’ve never dated anyone?” Amity asked, gazing up at her.

Luz shook her head.

“Me neither.”

So she and Amity were in the same boat, then. Luz had assumed as much, given Amity’s laser-focus on ballet and the fact that she wasn’t out yet, but it was still nice to know that she wasn’t the only one with no experience in the romance department.

The silence that succeeded Amity’s last statement stretched out, and soon began to feel a little awkward. Amity was looking at Luz as if she were waiting for something, but Luz was too busy waging her own internal battle to work out what it was.

_Should I ask her?_ she wondered. _She did say she wanted someone to go with…_

_She meant she wanted a date, and you_ know _she doesn’t see you that way!_

_But I_ could _still offer to go with her. You know, as friends._

“Hey,” Luz began, before she could overthink it, “You know, if you’re worried about having someone to go with, we could always just... go together.”

She blurted out the offer while staring at her shoes, studying them as if they were the most interesting thing she’d ever seen. When Amity didn’t respond right away, she risked a peek in her direction. Her crush’s expression was unreadable.

“Do you mean, as friends?” Amity asked, hesitantly. 

“Yeah!” Luz leapt on the word quickly, awkwardly shoving her hands into the pockets of her jeans, “As friends.”

A wave of… _something_ passed over Amity’s face. It _might_ have been disappointment, but it was gone so quickly that Luz couldn’t be sure she hadn’t just imagined it.

“Okay,” Amity said with a smile, and there was no hurt or disappointment there that Luz could see - no matter how much she hoped there might be. “Let’s go together as friends.”

Luz smiled back, but it felt a little forced. “Great - it’s a date!” she said, and then internally cursed her own stupidity. “Or, well, you know what I mean!” she amended.

_Wow, Luz, could you BE any more awkward?!_

“It’s a date,” Amity said, and the words unleashed a flutter of butterflies in Luz’s chest, even though she knew Amity didn’t mean them the way she wanted her to. 

The thought twisted her stomach and she had to fight to keep the smile on her face. 

Why couldn’t she just tell Amity that what she actually wanted was a real date? What was she so afraid of?

Before Luz could say anything else, Amity’s gaze flicked downwards. “Oh, did you get something while you were out with Willow and Gus?” she asked.

Luz glanced down, and belatedly remembered that she was still holding a shopping bag.

“Oh! Yeah, but it’s nothing special,” she said quickly. Walking over to her closet, she unceremoniously shoved the bag inside. “Just a new leotard, that’s all.”

She didn’t like lying to Amity, but if they were going to be attending the party together, then she wanted her outfit to be a surprise.

Maybe it was silly, but she wanted to impress Amity. 

Even if they _were_ just going as friends.

  
  


***

  
  


Valentine’s Day arrived far too quickly for Amity’s liking.

She had spent the past week rapidly fluctuating between avoiding thinking about her upcoming date-but-not-really-a-date with Luz, and being completely incapable of thinking about anything else. But somehow, even though she’d obsessively thought about every aspect of the night in great detail, including imagining multiple scenarios where things either went very, _very_ well or very badly, there was one thing she’d managed to overlook.

What on Earth was she going to _wear_?

Amity stared at her closet in dismay. She’d been combing through it for the past half hour, but nothing had jumped out at her.

Luz had left an hour ago to get ready with Willow, mumbling something about how they shouldn’t see each other’s outfits until it was time to go to the party. Amity had considered pointing out that since they were only going together as friends, it probably didn’t matter, but in the end she’d decided not to. If Luz wanted to treat this like a real-life date, well, Amity wasn’t exactly going to complain. Even though it hurt, knowing that none of it was real.

So Luz had left, with a promise that she’d be back at eight to pick Amity up. And now here Amity was, all alone, trying to get ready for a not-date with the girl she was wildly, desperately in love with, and _she had absolutely no idea what to wear._

Amity rifled through her dresses for the thousandth time, desperately searching for one that she didn’t _completely_ hate. Most of her nicer clothes had been picked out for her by her mother and they reflected Odalia’s tastes much more than her own. Amity had never really liked dresses, or felt particularly comfortable wearing them. But she knew better than to tell her mother that.

Groaning in frustration, she abandoned the closet for the time being and flopped down on her bed in defeat. She was getting nowhere, time was rapidly running out, and the person she would usually ask for help was the one person she absolutely could not ask.

With a sigh, Amity pulled out her phone and texted the only other person she could think of.

**Me: Hey Em, are you busy? I could really use some fashion advice - it’s kind of an emergency.**

Emira’s reply came in a few minutes later.

**Emira: Be there in five.**

Amity waited, hoping against hope that she wasn’t making a huge mistake by asking her sister for help. She was feeling much too fragile to stand up to Emira’s teasing right now.

Before she could text her sister back and tell her not to come after all, there was a knock at the door. With a sigh, she resigned herself to her fate and went over to open it.

Emira breezed past her into the room. “So, can’t decide what to wear for your big date with Luz, huh?” she said.

Amity flushed scarlet. “It’s not a date!” she exclaimed, hastening to correct her. “We’re just going as friends.” Then the meaning of her sister’s words caught up with her. 

“Wait a minute,” she said, narrowing her eyes at Emira. “How did you even know about it?”

“Oh, Luz told me,” Emira replied, with a dismissive wave of her hand.

Amity felt as if her eyes must be standing out on stalks like a cartoon character’s. “ _Luz_ told you? You guys _talk_?” she sputtered.

“Yeah, we text occasionally,” Emira said offhandedly. Then she turned around, taking in Amity’s distressed state. “ _Relax,_ Mittens. I haven’t said anything to her about your big fat crush on her, and I won’t. Trust me when I say that she has absolutely no idea how you feel.”

“Well, that’s something, I guess,” Amity grumbled. She didn’t like the idea of Emira texting Luz, but she supposed there was nothing she could really do about it.

“Why are you so afraid of her finding out?” Emira asked. “I mean - you’re planning on telling her eventually, right? You _do_ want to know, don’t you? If she feels the same?”

Amity sighed. “I do want to know, and I _am_ planning on telling her. It’s just… I don’t know, I’m afraid. I’m scared of rejection and I’m terrified of ruining our friendship.” She took a seat on the bed again, dropping her chin into her hands. 

“Why can’t I just be happy with what we _do_ have?” she whined. “It’s enough - it’s more than I could have hoped for, really. I don’t _need_ more.”

“But you want more,” Emira said. She phrased it as a statement, not a question.

Amity shifted uneasily. “Well, yeah. But I’m not sure if I _deserve_ more. I wasn’t a very nice person before I met Luz. It’s a miracle she even likes me as a friend.”

Emira’s face adopted a serious expression - one that Amity had seldom seen on her usually playful sister. “Amity, you’re not a bad person,” she said. “Sure, you’ve made some mistakes in the past, but so have I. So has everyone. The important thing is that you’ve learned from them. And you _do_ deserve love. You’re allowed to want something more than friendship with Luz.”

Her sister’s words made Amity feel surprisingly emotional. She suddenly found herself blinking back tears, stubbornly refusing to let them fall. 

_The last thing I need right now is for my eyes to be all red and puffy from crying._

“But what if she doesn’t feel the same way?” she asked, once she’d wrestled her emotions back under control.

Emira shrugged. “If she doesn’t feel the same way, then you move on. But at least you’ll have an answer.”

“Is that how you and Viney got together?” Amity asked. 

Emira smiled wryly. “Not exactly. I flirted with her outrageously until she asked me out on a date to shut me up.”

Amity couldn’t help herself. She laughed.

“I don’t think that approach would work for me.”

“Probably not,” Emira chuckled. “Which means you’ll have to be braver than me, and actually _tell_ Luz how you feel about her.”

Amity sighed. “I don’t think I’m ready for that yet.”

“Well, for what it’s worth,” Emira said, “I think you should do it tonight.”

“Tonight?!” Amity gasped.

Her sister shrugged. “Yeah, why not? It’s Valentine’s Day, the day of love! And you _are_ going to the party as her date.”

“We’re going as _friends_!”

Emira quirked an eyebrow at her. “Are you, though?”

“ _Yes!_ ”

“If you say so,” Emira laughed. “Well, it’s up to you. But you know what I think you should do. Now, let’s find you a fabulous outfit to wear!”

And with that, she promptly started digging through Amity’s closet.

With Emira’s help, it only took them about ten minutes to settle on an outfit. The dress they eventually chose featured a delicate floral pattern on a background of rich purple. It was sleeveless, with an A-line skirt and a matching belt that tied at the waist. Amity paired it with tights, ballet flats and a close-fitting black cardigan.

She decided to leave her hair down - there wasn’t enough time to try and do anything complicated with it, and it looked fine as it was. Amity applied just a touch of makeup - a little mascara and eyeliner and the barest hint of color on her lips - then pronounced herself ready. She checked the clock and saw that she had five minutes to spare before Luz was due to return.

“Thanks, Em,” she said, as her sister got ready to leave. “I really appreciate the help.”

She hoped Emira understood that she meant more than just with the outfit.

“No problem,” Emira said, smiling softly at her, and Amity was pretty sure she did understand. “I’d better get going, but… have fun tonight. Try not to overthink it.”

Amity smiled back. “I’ll do my best.”

  
  


***

  
  


_This is it,_ Luz thought, stopping outside the door to her and Amity’s room. She was right on time, but she didn’t knock immediately. She needed a moment to collect herself first.

Luz couldn’t deny that she felt strangely nervous, even though she and Amity had both been very clear about the fact that this wasn’t a real date.

_We’re just going to the party together as friends, that’s all. Nothing to be nervous about._

Even so, it felt different this time. Which made sense, considering that the last time they’d attended a Hexside party together, Luz hadn’t even been aware that she was crushing on Amity.

Now, she was painfully aware of her feelings and even more painfully aware that today was Valentine’s Day.

She’d spent the last hour getting ready with Willow and her friend had spent a large portion of that time making the case that the party tonight would be the perfect opportunity for Luz to confess. Now, one long and very enthusiastic pep talk later, here she was - ready to pick up her best friend, who she also happened to be madly in love with, and take her on a date that was not really a date.

_I’ve really gotten myself into one hell of a messy situation this time,_ she thought wryly. Then, she mustered her courage, swallowed her nerves and knocked on the door.

Amity opened it just a few moments later and Luz was immediately struck by how beautiful she looked. She drank in the sight of her crush, standing there with her bronze hair loose around her shoulders and her golden eyes perfectly accented by just a hint of mascara and eyeliner. Amity wore a pretty purple dress and, like everything Luz had seen her in so far, it looked lovely on her.

Once she had finished taking in every aspect of Amity’s appearance, Luz realized that the other girl was doing the same to her. And… she was kind of staring.

Her cheeks began to feel warm, as the seconds passed and Amity continued to silently gawk at her.

_Is there something wrong with my outfit?_ she wondered anxiously.

Luz was certainly dressed more formally than usual, in fitted black jeans, a white button down shirt, and a matching black blazer. But she thought the look suited her pretty well, and Willow had definitely seemed to agree.

So why was Amity staring?

Eventually, her crush seemed to snap out of it. “Wow,” she said at last, tearing her eyes away from Luz’s clothing and back up to her face. “Luz, you look… amazing.”

Luz ducked her head in embarrassment, feeling the heat rise in her cheeks at the compliment. “Thanks,” she replied. “So do you.”

Amity shrugged and, to Luz’s surprise, she looked faintly uncomfortable.

“This dress isn’t so bad, I guess,” she said quietly, adjusting the skirt over her hips as if to make sure it was sitting right.

“What do you mean?” Luz asked curiously. Amity often wore dresses like this one, and she didn’t usually seem uncomfortable in them. “It looks great on you.”

Her crush sighed. Stepping away from the door, she motioned for Luz to enter their shared room. 

“I don’t know,” Amity said, once Luz had come in and she’d shut the door behind them. “It’s just… I never really feel like myself when I wear dresses.”

Luz cocked her head to one side in confusion. “You don’t? But you have so many of them.”

“Well, my mom buys them for me,” Amity explained. “And I wear them because she wants me to. I’ve always been afraid that if I asked her to stop, if I started dressing the way I _actually_ want to, then she might… well, she might figure things out.”

“Figure out that you’re gay, you mean?” Luz asked.

Amity nodded, dropping her gaze to the floor. “Yeah.”

Luz frowned. Yet more evidence of how deep Odalia Blight’s influence ran. Amity couldn’t even wear the clothes she felt most comfortable in because she was afraid her mother would judge her for it!

“Well, how _do_ you want to dress?” she asked.

Once more, Amity’s gaze flickered over Luz’s outfit. “Like that, pretty much,” she said, indicating the entire ensemble.

Luz didn’t hesitate. She pulled off her blazer and offered it to Amity.

“What are you doing?” Amity asked, taking the blazer with a look of complete and utter confusion on her face.

“Giving you my outfit,” Luz said, starting to unbutton her shirt.

Amity’s eyes widened. “Wha- _Luz_!” she exclaimed, whirling around to face the wall as a furious blush spread across her face. “A little warning next time, please!”

“Sorry, Ams,” Luz said, fighting to keep herself from laughing. “Just, uh, keep facing the wall for the time being, okay?” 

She finished unbuttoning her shirt and removed it, placing it carefully over the back of her desk chair. Next, she unlaced her black Converse shoes and kicked them off, then wriggled out of her jeans. 

Gathering up her shirt and pants, she cautiously approached Amity - being careful to stay out of her line of sight. “Here,” she said, standing behind her roommate and reaching around her, so that she could offer her the items of clothing. 

“Luz, why are you giving me your clothes?” Amity asked, her voice coming out high and panicky.

“Because you want to wear them,” Luz said simply.

“But if I’m wearing your stuff,” Amity protested, “What are _you_ going to wear?”

“I can wear what you’re wearing,” Luz replied. Then, because she couldn’t resist, she added teasingly, “So you’d better hurry up and take your dress off, because I’m getting pretty cold standing here in my underwear.”

“ _Luz!!_ ”

Luz had to laugh. “Sorry, Ams. I’m just teasing,” she said apologetically. “But really, it’s no big deal. I’ll just turn around while you get changed and then, when you’re ready, you can let me know and I’ll come and grab your clothes.”

“Oh, um, okay. I guess that could work,” Amity said hesitantly, still refusing to turn her head so much as an inch in Luz’s direction. With shaking hands, she reached out and took the shirt and pants from Luz.

Turning around, Luz took a few steps in the other direction before coming to a stop, facing the opposite wall.

“Alright, I’m not looking,” she said, and then stood there shivering in her underwear, listening to the sounds of Amity getting changed behind her. 

“Okay, I’m done,” Amity said, a couple of minutes later. Luz turned and saw that Amity had arranged her clothes in a neat pile on the floor behind her. 

Her crush was still facing away from her, one hand clamped firmly over her eyes as an extra precaution. Luz chucked fondly. She’d always found Amity’s stubborn insistence on modesty kind of adorable, especially since they were both ballet dancers. How Amity had managed to find an unoccupied corner of the dressing room to hide in every time they had to get changed for Nutcracker, Luz would never know.

She grabbed her roommate’s dress, tights and cardigan off the floor and quickly put them on, before shoving her feet back into the sneakers she’d been wearing and lacing them up. They were plain enough that they hopefully wouldn’t look too out of place with the rest of the outfit.

“Okay, I’m ready too,” she said, and then turned around.

Amity turned at the same time, and Luz’s breath caught in her throat.

Wow. Okay. Amity was wearing her clothes. That had been Luz’s idea, hadn’t it? She couldn’t quite remember, because Amity was wearing her clothes and she looked incredible and Luz absolutely _could not_ handle this.

In fact, she was pretty sure that all of her higher brain functions shut down immediately, leaving her incapable of doing anything but staring at Amity and thinking exactly one word: _Wow._

Amity always looked gorgeous, but this- this was something else. While Luz had worn her button down shirt loose, Amity had tucked it in, emphasizing her narrow waist. Luz’s blazer was a little big on her, and her jeans bunched slightly at Amity’s ankles, but somehow that suited Amity. She still wore her black ballet flats, and the entire effect was just… unfairly, insanely hot. 

When did it get so warm in here? Luz’s face felt like it was on fire. Actually, come to think of it, her entire body felt like it was on fire.

It took her several moments to remember how to breathe normally again, and a few moments more to fully recover her powers of speech.

“Okay,” she said at last, trying - and failing - to keep her voice steady. “You’re keeping those clothes.”

Amity looked at her in confusion. “What? No, I couldn’t do that - they’re yours.”

“Trust me,” Luz said seriously, “They look better on you.”

Amity rolled her eyes. “I very much doubt _that._ ”

“See for yourself,” Luz said, indicating the mirror that hung on the back of the door.

Cautiously, Amity approached it and took in her reflection. First from the front, then from the side, and then from the back. Luz watched as her cheeks grew faintly pink with pleasure.

“I like it,” Amity said quietly. “It feels… right. It feels like me.” She turned to face her, golden eyes shining. “Thanks, Luz.”

“No problem,” Luz said, beaming at her. She’d have been willing to trade a lot more than a few items of clothing to see Amity this happy.

Amity stepped away from the mirror, motioning for Luz to take her place. “Your turn,” she said.

Luz walked over to the mirror and took a look at her own outfit. It wasn’t bad, actually - Amity’s dress wasn’t something she’d normally wear, but she couldn’t deny that it looked nice.

“The color suits you,” Amity said softly.

“And it’s my favorite color, too,” Luz replied, turning to smile at her. “Should we get going? The party’s probably well underway by now.”

“Yeah, let’s go,” Amity said, grabbing her handbag. Luz grabbed hers as well, and then they headed out, locking the door behind them.

  
  


***

  
  


When they arrived at the Hexside common room, they found it utterly transformed. Pink and red streamers hung from the light fixtures and hearts cut from cardstock were plastered all over the walls. There were even heart-shaped balloons scattered around the room, and the buffet tables that had been set up along the far wall were laden with Valentine’s-themed snacks.

“Wow, it looks like the decorating committee went all out with this one,” Luz remarked, quirking an eyebrow at Amity in amusement.

“Yeah,” Amity replied shakily, butterflies fluttering uncomfortably in her stomach at the sight. 

Here she was, with _Luz_ , attending a party in a room that was literally covered in hearts, on a day that was all about romantic love. Suddenly, the ‘we’re just going as friends’ excuse seemed more than a little shaky.

_Why did I agree to this, again?_

Amity glanced around the room and saw that, much to her dismay, most of the students currently in attendance were happily coupled-up. There was Skara in the corner, wrapped around her boyfriend Chad, while Boscha sent annoyed looks in their direction from where she leaned against the wall a few feet away. Cat and Amelia were there with their boyfriends too. It looked like a few of the male dancers had come together, as well.

Emira’s words rang in Amity’s head.

_I think you should do it tonight._

_Get out of my head, Emira,_ Amity thought grumpily. _I can’t tell her - I’m much too terrified._

“Want to get something to eat?” Luz asked. Amity nodded and followed her crush over to the buffet table. 

On their way, she spotted Lilith in the corner, chaperoning. She looked like she would rather be anywhere else, and Amity really couldn’t blame her. She kind of wished that she was anywhere else, too.

Or, rather, that she and Luz were anywhere else, together.

Preferably alone.

Unbidden, the memory of Luz starting to unbutton her shirt popped into Amity’s head. Hastily, she banished it, but not before she felt the telltale heat of a blush spreading across her face.

_Come on, Amity! Get your mind out of the gutter!_

She and Luz had just finished filling their paper plates with snacks when Willow and Gus arrived. Luz immediately rushed over to greet them, and Amity trailed along in her wake.

“Hey, you two,” Willow said. “Last-minute wardrobe change?” she asked, eyeing their outfits.

_Oh. Right. Luz and Willow got ready together, and Luz was wearing…_

Luz had been wearing what Amity was currently wearing, and Amity found herself blushing for the second time in under five minutes. Idly, she wondered if it was possible to hurt yourself from blushing too much.

“Yeah, Amity and I switched outfits!” Luz explained. “Doesn’t she look great?”

Suddenly, Luz’s hand was on the small of her back and she gently pushed Amity forwards so that Willow and Gus could admire her outfit. Amity imagined that she could feel the warmth of her touch, even through the layers of fabric.

“Yeah, she really does, doesn’t she?” Willow said, giving Luz a knowing smile that Amity wasn’t quite sure how to interpret. “It suits you,” she added to Amity.

“Yeah, you both look great!” Gus added. “Very snazzy.”

Amity smiled. “Thanks. You guys look nice too.” Willow wore a green dress that looked very pretty on her, and Gus had on a brightly colored dress shirt, a bow tie, and dark pants.

“Wow, look at this room,” Willow said, glancing around at all the decorations.

“I know, right?” Gus exclaimed. “I was on the decorating committee. It took us _hours_ to cut out all those hearts.”

“Time well spent,” Luz said. “It all looks great! Very… pink.”

“Well, pink _is_ the color of love,” Gus replied.

“Isn’t that red?” Willow commented.

“Pink and red are _both_ commonly associated with love,” Gus lectured. “And as you can see, both colors are represented exactly equally,” he added, gesturing around the room. “That was very important to the committee.”

Amity put her hand over her mouth to hide an amused smile.

Suddenly, Gus’s pants started to vibrate and everyone stared at him as he pulled his phone out of his pocket. “Ah, shit,” he said, “Matt can’t figure out how to put on his tie, and I’m apparently the only one who can help him.” He rolled his eyes. “Be right back, guys.”

“And then there were three,” Luz remarked, once Gus had left.

“How are you, Willow?” Amity asked.

“I’m good,” Willow said. She glanced back and forth between the two of them. “So… how’s the date going so far?”

Amity felt her face heat up. “It’s not a date!” she and Luz exclaimed together. 

Willow just smiled at them, one eyebrow raised. “If you say so. Anyways, I’m going to go get some food. Catch you in a bit.”

She headed over to the buffet table, leaving Luz and Amity alone together in one hell of an awkward silence.

Amity glanced over at Luz, who was watching their friend walk away with an annoyed expression on her face. “Willow, you little…” she muttered, under her breath.

“What was that?” Amity asked her.

Luz turned her head to meet Amity’s gaze. Her cheeks looked faintly pink.

_Hold on, is she... blushing?_

“Oh, nothing,” she said quickly. “Sorry about that. Willow was just… confused.”

They were skating very close to the edge now. If Amity had any sense, she’d change the subject - steer the conversation in a different direction, away from the danger zone they’d unexpectedly found themselves in. Because if she were to lose her footing and fall, who knew what was waiting for her at the bottom?

Instead, she ventured even closer, peering down into unknown depths.

“Did she, um, think this was…” she began, then paused, swallowing nervously. “You know… a real date?”

There was no doubt about it - Luz was definitely blushing now.

“I don’t know, maybe,” Luz replied, shifting uncomfortably and fidgeting with her (Amity’s) dress. “But that’s crazy, right?” she added, with a laugh that sounded forced. “I mean, we’re clearly just friends!”

_Ouch._

That felt like a punch in the gut.

She’d taken a step off the cliff, and there had been no one there to catch her when she fell.

“Yeah,” Amity said dejectedly, looking down at the floor. There were paper hearts there, too, strewn about like leaves in autumn, and she was seized by a sudden urge to rip them up. “Yeah, of course we’re just friends. Obviously.”

When Luz had asked her to the party, she’d made it clear that it wasn’t a real date. But still, a tiny part of Amity had hoped…

And now, that hope was gone. Snuffed out like the flame of a candle.

“Yeah, I mean, I’m probably not even your type, right?” Luz continued, awkwardly raising a hand to the back of her neck. “I’m sure you’ve got a crush on some totally amazing girl…”

_She hates the idea of me liking her. She doesn’t want us to be a couple._

“Yeah,” Amity said, so softly that she wasn’t sure if Luz could even hear her. Her eyes stung, and her throat hurt. “Yeah, I do.”

“Wait, you like someone?” Luz asked. “Who?” 

Amity couldn’t bear to look at her. “No one you know,” she lied. “And I just remembered - I have some homework that I need to get done before Monday. I’ve got to go - sorry, Luz.”

And then she fled, away from the party and back to the safety of her room, where she could let her tears fall in peace.

  
  


***

  
  


_Amity likes someone else._

Luz let out a ragged breath, pulling her knees to her chest and burying her head in them. 

After Amity’s abrupt departure, she’d made her way over to the wall behind the buffet table and taken a seat on the floor, content to hide behind a large speaker on the fringes of the party and wallow in her misery.

Her head pulsed with a dull throbbing ache - probably from holding back the tears that threatened to spill over at any second. She blinked them away furiously, scrubbing a hand across her eyes. She wouldn’t cry - not yet. Not here.

No matter how much it hurt.

_I always knew that the chances of her liking me back were slim to none. But still, I hoped..._

Now, she knew the truth.

_She likes someone else. She doesn’t like me._

_We really are just friends._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: *posts this chapter and then runs away in the opposite direction*
> 
> I'M SORRY
> 
> It had to be done. But this is the low point, and things are going to get better from here, I promise.
> 
> By all means, please feel free to scream at me in the comments. See you next week for chapter 13, when things should hopefully be looking up for our girls.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The students find out about the end of year Workshop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, huge thanks to RainbowBuddy for beta reading this chapter for me!

Late on Thursday evening during the second week of March, the programme for the end of year Workshop was announced.

Amity glanced up at Luz when she saw the email come through, intending to call her over so they could look at it together. Then, she thought better of it.

Things had been… strained, between them, ever since the Valentine’s Day party. Amity knew it was her fault - she’d been hurt, and she’d unconsciously started pulling away, rebuilding and fortifying the walls around her heart that Luz had so easily smashed through back when they’d first become friends.

Not for the first time, she wished she could take back everything that had happened that night.

_You shouldn’t have reacted like that. You_ knew _it wasn’t a real date. And now things are weird, and it’s all your fault, because you couldn’t handle the fact that Luz just sees you as a friend. Because you had to run away and hide._

_What happened to friendship being enough for you? You wouldn’t tell Luz how you felt about her because you were scared of ruining what you_ did _have, and now you’ve gone ahead and ruined it anyway._

_Nice work, Amity._

She’d spent a lot of time torturing herself with the memories of that night. Again and again, she replayed the moment where everything had gone wrong. When she tried to sleep at night, she heard Luz’s voice telling her “we’re clearly just friends”. She closed her eyes, and saw the way her crush had shifted from foot to foot - her body language underscoring her obvious discomfort at the mere thought of them being anything more than that.

She remembered how she had cried into her pillow that night, all alone, for hours.

Luz hadn’t come back to their room until after midnight and Amity, who had been in no state to face her just then, had pretended to be asleep. She’d left the outfit she’d borrowed neatly folded on Luz’s bed and the other girl hadn’t said anything else about her keeping it.

Luz had returned Amity’s dress the next day. Amity had thanked her numbly, but apart from that they’d hardly spoken. And things hadn’t improved much since.

Right now, she and Luz were… amicable was the best that could be said for it, really. They talked, but only about surface things, like class, and the weather, and what their friends were up to. But they didn’t talk about things that actually _mattered._ Not anymore.

Before Valentine’s Day, they’d been inseparable. Now, although Amity still hung out with Luz and her friends in class and at mealtimes, Luz had taken to spending more time with Willow and Gus in the evenings. And Amity had been finding excuses to avoid their shared dorm, as well.

It wasn’t as bad as it had been before they became friends. But, at the same time, it was worse. Because now, she knew what it was that she was missing.

And Amity missed Luz terribly, even when Luz was right there in the room with her.

Especially when Luz was right there in the room with her.

Sighing internally and shaking her head to clear it of the painful memories, Amity opened the email. Quickly, she scanned the programme for their upcoming Workshop.

_Western Symphony, Stars and Stripes, Scènes de Ballet..._

Most of the ballets on the list were regulars, which appeared on the Workshop programme every year or every couple of years. But as her eyes made their way down the page, they landed on one entry that she hadn’t seen before.

_Romeo and Juliet - Balcony Pas De Deux._

That was new. The full-length _Romeo & Juliet _had been performed by the company for the first time just last year, when Director Belos had choreographed his version of the ballet.

Now, it seemed that a few lucky students would be given the opportunity to dance one of its most famous scenes.

“Hey, did you see this?” Luz asked, holding up her phone.

Amity blinked, startled, as her crush’s words fractured the brittle silence between them. 

Now, all the silences felt brittle.

“The Workshop programme?” she replied. “Yeah, I’m looking at it now.”

“Well, what do you think of it?” Luz asked, and the enthusiasm in her voice surprised Amity. Luz hadn’t sounded this enthusiastic - not to her, anyway - since before everything had gone wrong. “How does it compare to the other Workshops you’ve done?”

“A lot of it’s the same,” Amity said, “But this is new.” She turned her laptop screen towards Luz, tapping her finger against the entry from _Romeo & Juliet. _

“I wondered,” Luz said. “Didn’t the company debut Romeo and Juliet just last year?”

Amity nodded, turning her computer to face her again and staring at the words printed on the screen in bold type.

“That pas de deux is the one to get,” she said quietly. “That’s the one everyone is going to want.”

Luz frowned slightly. “How many casts?” she asked.

“Two,” Amity replied. “Two nights, two performances, two casts.”

“So two Romeos, and two Juliets,” Luz said, her frown deepening. “Out of our whole class.”

Amity nodded, the wheels in her head turning as she considered what this meant. “And the four students who are cast will get to dance an eight-minute pas de deux from a very famous ballet, with no one else on stage but them. It’s an incredible opportunity.”

_One which is not likely to escape Mom’s attention. She’ll be furious if I don’t get this role,_ she thought, her stomach clenching anxiously.

The direction Amity’s thoughts had taken must have shown on her face, because Luz smiled softly at her, and there was something of their old friendship in it. “You’ll get it,” she said simply.

Amity returned Luz’s smile with a tight-lipped one of her own. “Well, there are no guarantees,” she said. “But thanks. For believing in me. And for what it’s worth,” she added, “I think you’d make a perfect Juliet.”

“Well, there are two spots,” Luz said encouragingly. “We might both get cast.”

A few short weeks ago, that prospect would have delighted Amity. Now, she couldn’t quite muster up the same level of enthusiasm she would have then, but she did manage a more genuine smile. 

“We just might,” she said.

  
  


***

  
  


_“Luz? Luz, are you okay? What happened?”_

_Willow’s voice cut through the fog of misery that clouded Luz’s mind, dragging her back to the present. She raised her head, squinting at the bright lights and taking in her surroundings. She wasn’t sure how long she’d been sitting here, but the party was definitely in full swing now._

_Willow’s face swam in front of her eyes, and was quickly joined by Gus’s. Both of them peered down at her, their expressions worried._

_“Luz, what happened?” Willow asked again, crouching down so that the two of them were at eye level. “Where’s Amity?”_

_Luz’s eyes filled with tears. “She left,” she said brokenly, her voice cracking._

_“What? Why?!”_

_Luz just shrugged. The tears were really threatening to spill over now, and suddenly the lights and the music and the decorations were all just too much. There were so many people here, too many people, and she wanted nothing more than to get away._

_“I need to go,” she said, and began struggling to her feet. “I need to get out of here.”_

_“We’ll come,” Willow said, reaching out a hand to help Luz up._

_“No, you should stay,” Luz protested. “Stay and have fun.”_

_Willow and Gus exchanged glances. “Luz, we’re not leaving you alone like this,” Willow said firmly, and Gus nodded his agreement. “Now, come on, let’s go back to my room and you can tell us what happened, okay?”_

_Luz nodded weakly, and allowed her friends to lead her away from the party and back to Willow’s dorm room, where she could safely break down in peace._

“Luz? Earth to Luz!”

Luz blinked, startled from her reverie, and found Willow peering at her in concern. “Sorry, Wil,” she said apologetically. “I just zoned out for a second. What were you saying?”

Willow frowned. “I was just asking you what you thought of the Workshop programme.”

“Oh, right,” Luz said, shaking her head briefly to clear it. “It looked good to me.” She thought back to the conversation she’d had with Amity about the programme yesterday, and added, “Especially the pas de deux from Romeo and Juliet. Amity said that one was new.”

She hoped Willow wouldn’t notice how her voice wavered when she said Amity’s name.

“Oh, you guys talked about it?” Willow asked, and yeah, she’d definitely noticed. “That’s good, isn’t it?”

Luz shrugged. “Things are still really weird between us,” she said sadly. “It’s my fault - I’ve been acting distant towards her ever since the party. I couldn’t go on like we had been, knowing that she… knowing that she likes someone else.” She sighed dejectedly. “But now, all I want is to go back to the way we were before.”

Luz rested her chin on her hand, fidgeting with the hem of her jeans as she sat cross-legged on Willow’s bed. “I always said our friendship was the most important thing, and that I was afraid to tell her how I felt because I didn’t want to ruin it. Turns out, I didn’t even need to confess to ruin things.”

“I don’t think you’ve ruined things,” Willow said. “You’re still friends, aren’t you?”

“Not like we were before,” Luz lamented. “I just… I just wish I knew how to fix things.”

“Well, there’s always the option to, you know, tell her the truth,” Willow commented dryly. This wasn’t the first time she had suggested that course of action.

Luz sighed. “You know I can’t do that. She likes someone else - it wouldn’t be fair to just dump my feelings on her like that. It would probably hurt our friendship more than it would help it.”

“Or it might not,” Willow countered. “It might actually make things better between you. But if you’re still so unwilling to try the direct approach, I may have come up with another idea.”

Luz brightened instantly. “Really? What is it?”

“Well,” Willow explained, “Spring break is coming up in a couple of weeks. And it just so happens that my parents own a beach house a few hours south of here.”

“Wow, they do?” Luz asked. “That’s so cool. Wait - why have you never told me this before?”

Willow shrugged. “I didn’t think it was important. It’s been in the family for a while - one of my dads inherited it. It’s not huge or fancy or anything, but it’s big enough to fit the four of us. I was thinking we could spend spring break there, if you wanted to.”

“Hey, that sounds awesome!” Luz exclaimed. “I was going to spend spring break at home, but I’m sure my mom would understand.” Then, Willow’s words caught up with her. “Wait, the four of us?”

“Yeah,” Willow said. “You, me, Gus, and Amity.”

“A-Amity?” Luz asked, feeling flustered. “Willow, are you sure that’s such a good idea?”

Willow raised an eyebrow at her. “You _did_ say you wanted to repair your relationship, didn’t you?” 

Luz nodded. 

“Well, then this seems like the perfect opportunity to me,” Willow continued. “Gus and I will be there to act as a buffer between you two, and we can all just relax and have fun together. I think it could be a good way for you guys to grow closer again.”

Luz had to admit that a trip to the beach _did_ sound nice. “You’re probably right,” she conceded. “Have you said anything about this to Amity yet?”

Willow shook her head. “No, and I’m not going to,” she said. “You are.”

Luz’s eyes widened. “What?!” she exclaimed. “But it’s your beach house - you should be the one to invite her!”

“Nope,” Willow said firmly, refusing to be swayed. “Trust me on this, Luz - it’ll be better if it comes from you.”

Luz groaned. “I love you, Wil, but right now you are being just _the worst._ ”

Willow laughed. “Tough love, baby,” she said. “Believe me, you need it.”

Luz opened her mouth to defend herself, and then slowly shut it again. To her dismay, she found that she couldn’t really disagree with that statement.

  
  


***

  
  


When the door to the dorm room opened, Amity glanced up from the book she was reading to see Luz walk in.

Discreetly, she checked the time on her phone. It was almost ten thirty in the evening.

“Hey,” Luz said. “Sorry for getting back so late. I hope I didn’t keep you up.”

“It’s fine,” Amity said, keeping her eyes on her book. “I wasn’t planning on going to sleep just yet.”

“Oh, good,” Luz replied.

Amity hated the awkward way in which they tiptoed around each other now.

Luz came closer and plopped down on her own bed, across from Amity. “Actually, there’s something I wanted to talk to you about,” she said. “Do you have a minute?”

Amity looked up in surprise, marking her place and setting her book aside. There was an edge of nervousness in Luz’s voice that made her wary. Wary and… strangely excited.

Luz hadn’t come to her like this and asked to talk since… well, since _before._

“Sure,” she said. “I have a minute.”

Luz didn’t speak up right away. Amity watched as she fiddled with a loose thread on the string of her hoodie.

_She really is nervous about something, isn’t she?_

“So, you know how it’s spring break in a couple of weeks?” Luz said eventually.

Amity nodded, wondering what this could be about. Surely Luz wasn’t going to invite her to come home with her to Bonesborough again - not with the way things currently were between them?

“Well,” Luz continued, “Willow mentioned that her parents have a beach house a few hours away, and… well, she invited us to come and spend the break there, with her and Gus.”

“Oh,” Amity said, surprised. “Are you… are you sure she meant me as well?”

Things between her and Willow were steadily improving, true, but being invited to spend a week with her at her parents’ beach house still seemed like a big step.

“Oh, yeah, definitely!” Luz hurried to assure her. “She specifically asked me to pass on the invitation to you.”

“Oh,” Amity said again, still trying to process everything. Willow wanted her to come stay at her beach house. With her, and Gus, and Luz. 

_Luz._

“And… you and Gus are both going?” she asked.

“Well, I am,” Luz replied. “I don’t know about Gus, but I assume so.”

_Gus isn’t the one I was worried about,_ Amity thought wryly.

“Okay,” she said. “Tell Willow I’m in.”

Luz brightened instantly. “Really?” she asked excitedly.

“Yeah,” Amity said, lips quirking upwards in a smile at her crush’s obvious enthusiasm. “Why not? It sounds like it’ll be fun.”

“Yeah,” Luz agreed, “Yeah, I think it will be. Hold on - I’ll text Willow now and tell her the good news!”

Then she fished her phone out of her pocket and started typing, her fingers flying over the keys.

Amity leaned back against the headboard, running over the conversation again in her head. Willow had included her in the invitation - that was progress. And Luz had seemed excited about the prospect of her going…

Yes. This was good. She’d have plans for spring break that would get her out of the city and away from her parents, and maybe, just maybe, she’d get the chance to repair her friendship with Luz as well.

Now, she just needed to survive the next couple of weeks.

  
  


***

  
  


The week after the Workshop programme was announced, Bump, Hexside’s Artistic Director, started appearing in class.

He was joined by the other teachers - whichever ones weren’t teaching the class he was currently observing. They sat near the piano and took notes, and Luz felt their eyes boring into the back of her head as she danced.

In a way, it was worse than when Director Belos had come to watch their classes back in September. Because this time, she knew exactly why she was being watched.

Casting for the Workshop was due to go up the week before spring break, and right now, every class felt like an audition.

This time, Luz was painfully aware of what she was auditioning for, and of who she was up against. And this time, she knew what she _wanted_.

_Juliet._

She hadn’t said it out loud - not to anyone, not even Willow. But deep down, that was the role Luz longed for. She wanted that eight-minute pas de deux. She wanted the chance to tell that story.

She also knew, from talking to Amity, that every other girl in her class wanted it too.

Every afternoon in pas de deux class, Luz was a nervous wreck - especially if Bump and his posse of teachers were in attendance. During that hour and a half each day, she threw herself into her dancing with everything she had - trying to execute each step to the best of her technical abilities, and to embody the character of Juliet while she did so. 

It was exhausting and stressful, but thankfully she’d lucked out at the beginning of the year and had been assigned Gus as a partner. She trusted him completely, so all she had to worry about was herself, because she knew he would never let her fall.

One afternoon, a few days before casting was due to be announced, Steve, their pas de deux teacher, didn’t dismiss them immediately after class. Instead, he and Bump conferred with each other for a few moments, and then Bump stepped forward.

“You, you, you, and you,” he said, pointing to Luz and Gus, Amity and Matt, and two other pairs of students, “Please stay behind. The rest of you may go.”

Luz and Gus exchanged excited glances as the rest of the students filed out. 

_Could this mean - are we in the running?_

Once the others had gone and only the eight of them remained, Bump explained why he’d kept them.

“I’d like to see each of you perform a short excerpt of choreography from our upcoming Workshop for me,” he said. “Steve and Lilith will go over the steps with you.”

Luz paid close attention as Steve and Lilith taught them a small section of choreography, demonstrating certain moves and simply explaining others. If she wasn’t mistaken, the steps they were learning were taken from the balcony pas de deux in _Romeo & Juliet. _

This was her shot, then. Her chance to prove that she was the right choice for the role of Juliet. 

That fact was made even more apparent when the studio door opened and Director Belos walked in, taking a seat beside Bump.

_Okay, Luz, focus,_ she instructed herself. _Ignore them. Be Juliet. You’re a young girl in love, and the object of your affections is someone you can’t be with._

Briefly, Luz glanced over at Amity, standing with Matt a few feet away. She thought she might have some idea of what Juliet must have been feeling.

_Well, her family might not have approved, but at least her feelings were returned,_ Luz reflected glumly. 

Once they’d learned the steps and done a couple of practice runs together as a group, Bump instructed each pair to perform the choreography in turn. He motioned for Amity and Matt to go first, and Luz and Gus watched their respective roommates step forward to take their starting positions.

The pianist began to play and Amity and Matt began to dance. Luz watched with a surge of pride as her crush moved effortlessly through the steps, perfectly in sync with her partner. Amity had only just learned the choreography, but she performed it like she’d known it for years, with all the artistry, musicality, and flawless technique that she was known for. She and Matt expertly navigated the difficult lifts and finished the routine without putting a foot wrong.

As they walked back to the other dancers, Amity caught Luz’s eye briefly. Luz smiled at her, and gave her a subtle thumbs up.

Bump called the next pair forward, and Luz watched anxiously as they performed the routine. Neither they nor the pair after them did as well as Amity and Matt had, but no one made any really obvious mistakes.

Then, it was their turn. She and Gus exchanged tight smiles, then stepped forward to take their places. 

The music began and Gus danced away from her, flying across the studio in a series of impressive leaps. Luz was conscious that she needed to be acting the hell out of these first few seconds, because she wasn’t doing a whole lot of dancing just yet.

She pretended that it was Amity who she was dancing with, Amity who she longed for and couldn’t be with.

Well, that last part certainly wasn’t pretending.

Gus ran back to join her, taking her by the hand and leading her across the stage. It was time for the first lift and Luz launched herself off the ground, flying through the air with every confidence that Gus would catch her. She smiled internally when they hit the pose right on the music.

Gus spun her around, then knelt to the floor, carefully maneuvering Luz onto his knee. Luz turned in his arms so that she was on her back, extending her left leg into the air as Gus lifted her into a promenade in arabesque. Then came another lift, Luz extending her legs in front splits as Gus carried her across the stage.

He moved away from her again, and Luz performed a series of chaîné turns into another promenade, at which point Gus grabbed her by the waist and guided her around in a circle while she balanced en pointe on one foot. They repeated the chaîné turns into the promenade, Luz extending her working leg in penché as Gus led her around. 

_Almost done now._

Gus held her firmly by the waist as Luz, her left leg still extended behind her and her upper body tilted forwards, slowly raised her right foot off the floor, bringing it up to rest against her calf. Gus was supporting all of her weight now. Carefully, he knelt to the floor again, rotating Luz so that she came to rest with her back against his knee. First she arched backwards, arms touching the floor, then rose up into his embrace. Again, Gus lifted her into a promenade, then spun her around in a double pirouette.

They finished with Luz in a backbend, Gus’s arms on her waist and his head against her chest, in the classic Romeo and Juliet pose.

The music stopped, and the other dancers clapped politely. Gus was grinning at her, and Luz grinned back. They’d done well - all the lifts and difficult partnering bits had gone off without a hitch, and they’d both managed to inject some tender acting moments into the short piece.

Luz couldn’t resist a glance in Amity’s direction as she and Gus made their way back to the rest of the group. Her crush was positively beaming at her.

_We really must have done well, then,_ Luz thought, thrilling inwardly. _We might just have a shot at this._

Three days later, casting went up.

Luz was still in the dining hall when the list was posted. As she hurried down the hallway towards the main notice board, she nearly crashed into Gus, who was racing towards her from the opposite direction.

“Luz! Luz!” he exclaimed, “We got it! We got Romeo and Juliet!”

“We did?” Luz asked breathlessly, her heart pounding with excitement.

“Go see for yourself!” Gus urged her, pointing in the direction he’d come from.

Luz picked up the pace, practically jogging down the hall. When she reached the place where the list was displayed she scanned it frantically, searching for her name.

_There._

There it was, printed in bold type. Luz Noceda.

She was listed as one of the Juliets, just as Gus had said. 

And the name next to hers, the other Juliet, was Amity Blight.

Luz stared at their names, printed side-by-side, as a confusing mix of emotions swirled in her chest.

Just a few weeks ago, the knowledge that she and Amity had the same role, and would be rehearsing together, would have filled Luz with unbridled joy. Now… she was delighted for her friend, but there was sadness there, too. Because the prospect of rehearsing the part together didn’t give her the same thrill it would have then.

If things hadn’t gone wrong between them, getting this role would have been a team effort. There would have been early morning practice sessions and evenings spent talking strategy. If Luz hadn’t messed everything up, Amity would be here right now. They would be checking this list together. They would be celebrating, hugging and congratulating each other and making plans to practice together outside of rehearsals.

They would have been so happy.

But that wasn’t the way things were anymore. And right now, Luz didn’t even know where Amity was.

She sighed. Spring break was next week - hopefully Willow’s plan would prove successful, and she would be able to repair at least some of the damage she’d caused. 

More than anything, Luz just wanted her best friend back.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter and the next one were originally going to be one chapter, but I ended up deciding that they needed to be split. So apologies that this was another angsty one - but next time things will improve :)
> 
> A couple of other things:  
> \- Chapter 12 now contains art! @chaosbicycle on tumblr drew some absolutely incredible fan art of Luz and Amity in their Valentine's Day outfits, so please do go back and check that out.  
> \- Additionally, @brooklynwillowbeast and @idkhowbutitsvickie both drew some amazing fan art for this fic. All of the fan art can be viewed here: https://justamitythings.tumblr.com/post/643402817255735296/justamitythings-chaosbicycle-justamitythings. Be sure to take a look! :)
> 
> If you make fan art for this fic, please do send me the link (either in the comments or on tumblr) because I would absolutely love to see it! :D


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luz, Amity, Willow and Gus spend spring break at the beach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big big thanks to RainbowBuddy and Lumitations for beta reading this chapter for me!
> 
> Also, be sure to check out this awesome fan art of chapter 8 by strangeispowerful: https://www.pinterest.nz/pin/620089442444058998/
> 
> Update 3/04: This chapter now includes artwork by @chaosbicycle on tumblr :)

“Here we are,” Willow announced, steering the rental car off the road and up a short driveway. She pulled to a stop in front of a quaint single story house.

Amity blinked groggily, peering out of the window and taking in her surroundings. She must have dozed off at some point during the drive south from Hexside.

She followed the others out of the car, raising her arms over her head in a full-body stretch once she was out in the open air. Glancing around, Amity saw that Willow’s parents’ house wasn’t right on the beach, but it was close. She could smell the sea air, and she imagined she could hear the sound of waves crashing.

“The beach is just one street over, that way,” Willow said, pointing in the direction where Amity had been looking. “Too bad the weather isn’t great, or we could get changed and head right down there.”

Amity glanced up at the sky. The clouds overhead were a leaden gray, and rain misted down from them in a persistent drizzle. The temperature here wasn’t much warmer than it had been back in the city, despite the fact that they’d travelled several hours south. Willow was right - it definitely wasn't ideal beach weather.

Willow popped the trunk and they grabbed their duffel bags out of the back, then followed her into the house. Willow led the way into the living room and they dropped off their gear there, then returned to the car to grab the food and other supplies they’d brought with them. It only took a couple of trips to get everything inside.

When they’d finished piling everything into the living room, Amity glanced around her, properly taking in the interior of the house for the first time. 

The exterior had been simple clapboard, but what the house lacked in character on the outside it certainly made up for on the inside. The walls were exposed wood, and the room was filled with eclectic, well-loved furniture and decorated with assorted coastal and nautical-themed bric-a-brac. It was the kind of thing she would normally find tacky, but for some reason, it worked. It was actually rather charming, albeit in a somewhat kitschy way.

“Alright!” Willow said, clapping her hands together to get their attention. “Room assignments. Amity and Luz - you guys have got the Master bedroom. It’s just down the hall to the left. Gus and I will take the guest bedroom, which is down the hall to the right.”

Amity blinked in surprise and slowly dawning horror.

_Master bedroom?!_

Those words implied the presence of only one bed. And while she and Luz had shared a bed before, Amity couldn’t imagine doing so now - not when things were still so weird between them.

It was one thing to share a bed with your crush when you thought there was a chance, however small, that your feelings might be returned. It was quite another to do so when you knew for a fact that they _weren’t._

She glanced at Luz out of the corner of her eye, and saw that Luz looked every bit as uncomfortable with the situation as she was.

_Well, I can’t exactly blame her for not wanting to sleep in the same bed as me - not with the way I treated her after Valentine’s Day. Oh, why did I have to act like that?!_

Not for the first time, Amity cursed herself for a fool. _I should have handled things better._

“Hey, Willow… are you sure you and Gus don’t want the Master bedroom?” Luz protested weakly. “I mean, this house belongs to _your_ dads, after all. Amity and I would be happy to take the guest bedroom.”

“Thanks for the offer, Luz, but I’m gonna have to turn you down,” Willow said, and oh, Amity was beginning to get the impression that she knew _exactly_ what she was doing. “I’ve shared a bed with Gus before and I vowed never to do so again. He hogs the covers.”

“Hey!” Gus exclaimed. “I do _not!_ ”

“Do too,” Willow countered. “Anyway, you guys have shared a bed before, haven’t you? When Amity stayed at your house? So you should be fine, right?”

Wait, Willow _knew_ about that? How much had Luz _told_ her?

Did she know about… the moment in the snow?

_The moment in the snow meant nothing,_ Amity reminded herself. _You know that now._

Luz glared at Willow, clearly unimpressed, but there wasn’t really anything she could say to that. “Fine,” she said. “We’ll take the Master bedroom. Where did you say it was, again?”

“Down the hall to the left,” Willow said smugly.

With an annoyed huff, Luz grabbed her duffel bag and stalked off down the hall, presumably to find their bedroom. Amity glanced over at Willow and Gus, then grabbed her own bag and followed Luz.

To her dismay, the Master bedroom was even worse than she’d imagined. From the ‘Love Nest’ sign on the wall to the heart-shaped pillows on the bed, it was a room clearly meant for a couple.

Luz had her back to Amity - presumably staring around the room in horror - but she turned when she heard Amity come in. “Hey,” she said, awkwardly shoving her hands into her pockets. “Boy, Willow’s dads sure do like decorating, don’t they?”

Amity forced out a laugh. “Seems that way.”

She gazed at Luz wistfully, wanting nothing more than to bridge the gap between them. Wanting to go back to the days when being made to share a bed would still have been awkward, but not in a bad way.

In an exciting, I-want-to-kiss-her-but-I-don’t-know-if-I-should kind of way.

Now, Amity still wanted to kiss Luz, but the temptation to just lean in and do it was gone. Because she knew Luz didn’t want that. Didn’t want _her_ \- not in that way, anway.

“I’m sorry you got stuck sharing with me,” she said quietly. “I can ask Willow to trade places, if you want.”

Luz’s eyes widened in surprise. “Oh, no, it’s okay,” she said, then added wryly, “And I doubt Willow would agree to trade with you, anyway.”

“She did seem pretty set on this,” Amity mumbled, determinedly studying the rug under her feet.

“Hey,” Luz said softly, sensing her discomfort. “I’m annoyed with Willow, but I’m not annoyed with you, okay? You haven’t done anything wrong.”

_Yes I have. I did this to us._

Amity just nodded, not trusting herself to speak.

“Are _you_ okay with this?” Luz asked. “Because if you’re not, I’ll make sure Willow lets us switch. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.”

“No, it’s alright,” Amity said. “I’m okay with it. I mean, we _are_ roommates, and we’ve shared a bed before.” 

_Wow, way to state the obvious, Amity._

Then she hesitated. Luz had offered her an out, and she should probably do the same. “Unless… you’re uncomfortable with it?”

“No,” Luz said, and her smile looked strained. “Not uncomfortable.”

“Okay, then,” Amity said, with more confidence than she felt. “So I guess… this is where we’ll be sleeping.”

Luz nodded. “Guess so.”

Amity set her bag down in the corner, and Luz did the same. Then she stood there awkwardly, unsure of what to do next.

Luz wasn’t making any moves to leave the room, and she had a look on her face that made Amity think she had something she wanted to say.

But no words were forthcoming. Amity fought the urge to fidget as the silence stretched on, growing more and more awkward with each passing second. 

“We should, uh, probably get back to the others,” she said eventually.

“Right,” Luz said, shaking her head as if to clear it. “Yeah, we probably should. After you, then.” 

Stepping to the side, she motioned for Amity to lead the way out of the room and back down the hall, to where the others waited.

“What took you so long?” Willow asked from the kitchen, where she and Gus were busy putting away the food they’d brought. “We’re just about finished in here.”

“Sorry,” Luz said apologetically. “Is there anything else we can help with?”

“Sure,” Willow said. “Can you and Amity run to the store and pick up some ingredients for dinner tonight? I’ll text you a list of what I need.”

Luz glanced over at Amity, quirking an eyebrow at her. “You up for a trip to the store?” she asked.

“Sure,” Amity said, with a resigned smile.

She had the feeling that Willow was going to make sure she and Luz spent an awful lot of time together over the coming week. But, as annoying as her friend’s meddling was, Amity couldn’t deny that she was also a tiny bit grateful for it. 

This break was her big chance to fix things with Luz, and she only had seven days. She needed all the help she could get.

  
  


***

  
  


“Are you sure we’re going in the right direction?” Amity asked.

Luz frowned at her phone in confusion. Google Maps had said the grocery store was only a ten minute walk away, and they’d been walking for almost twenty minutes now. It was looking more and more likely that they’d taken a wrong turn somewhere.

She wasn’t about to admit that to Amity, however.

“Yeah, of course!” Luz said brightly, trying to inject confidence into her voice. “Absolutely. In fact…” she continued, peering closely at her phone as she desperately tried to figure out where they were in relation to the supermarket, “Aha! It’s just one street over, that way.”

Luz breathed a sigh of relief when her sense of direction proved to be right, for once, and they arrived at their destination a few minutes later.

“So, what are we getting?” Amity asked, as they grabbed a shopping cart and proceeded through the main entrance.

Luz scanned the list Willow had given her. “Looks like there are a few things we need from the produce section. If you go and grab the tomatoes, I’ll get the onion.”

They made their way through the store, locating each item on Willow’s list and adding it to their cart. Luz tried not to think about how domestic it felt to be going grocery shopping with Amity. She could almost pretend that they were a real couple, who shared a life and a home together.

More than anything, Luz wanted that with Amity. And Amity wanted it with someone else.

The reminder that Amity was in love with someone else poured cold water all over the grocery store experience. Amity probably didn’t even want to be here with Luz. She probably wished she were here with her crush, instead.

The mystery crush that Luz still didn’t have the faintest clue about.

She had been pondering the question of who it might be for over a month now, and she still had absolutely no idea. Sure, Amity had said it was someone Luz didn’t know, but how could that be? Before Valentine’s Day the two of them had spent almost all of their time together, so she had no idea when Amity might have been seeing this mysterious crush.

Again, she cursed herself for reacting the way she had on Valentine’s Day, and allowing this new distance to grow between them. If she and Amity were still as close as they used to be, she could have just asked Amity about her crush, instead of speculating like this. She could have offered to help Amity woo her dream girl.

Sure, it would have hurt. A lot. But Luz just wanted Amity to be happy.

_Should I say something?_ Luz wondered, as they wandered around the store in silence, each lost in their own thoughts. _Should I, I don’t know, apologize? For the way I’ve been acting?_

But what would she even say? _Look, I know things are weird between us and I’m really sorry about that? I was upset when you said you liked someone else, because, well, because I’m in love with you, but I’m doing my best to be okay with it and I’d really like to go back to the way things were before?_

No, she couldn’t say any of that.

They found everything they needed and made their way to the checkout to pay. When they stepped outside, Luz was dismayed to discover that it had started to rain again.

“We’d better hurry back before this gets any worse,” she said to Amity, who nodded in agreement.

They set off, walking fast, but they’d barely made it two streets before the rain began to fall harder. Big fat drops which were cold against Luz’s skin and quickly soaked through her hair and clothes. 

She glanced over at Amity. Her crush was clutching the shopping bag she carried to her chest, as if to protect its contents, and her lips were turned down in an adorable pout. 

As though she felt Luz’s eyes on her, Amity turned her head. The look on her face was one of such complete and utter distress that it made Luz’s heart melt.

Luz couldn’t help herself. She laughed.

Here she was, caught in the rain with her crush like they were both in some ridiculous low-budget romcom. Could her life _get_ any more absurd?

“ _Luz!_ ” Amity said, affronted, as Luz came to a stop, nearly doubled over with laughter. 

“I’m sorry,” she wheezed, “It’s just… you have to admit this is kind of funny.”

Amity frowned disapprovingly at her. Then, gradually, her face relaxed, as Luz’s laughter proved too infectious to resist.

It wasn’t long before they were both standing there in the rain, laughing their heads off.

“Come on, we’d better get back,” Luz said eventually.

Amity nodded her agreement and they started walking again, both still fighting to contain their laughter.

The rain just got heavier and heavier, and Luz was soaked through by the time the house was in sight. By some unspoken agreement, she and Amity both increased their pace, sprinting down the street towards the promise of warmth and dry clothes.

Luz could see Amity out of the corner of her eye, just a few steps behind her, laughing as she ran. Amity was every bit as soaked as she was, and she looked happier than Luz had seen her since the night of the Valentine’s party.

Her wet jeans clung to her, weighing her down, and the rain falling into her face and eyes was as cold as ice, but none of those things could suppress the bubble of happiness swelling in her chest.

“We made it!” Luz exclaimed, collapsing against the front door as they finally reached the shelter of the porch.

Amity was only a second or two behind her, and she collapsed against the door next to Luz, looking up at her with eyes that danced with pleasure. Her cheeks were flushed from laughter and there were strands of wet hair plastered across her face. Luz’s breath caught, and she was seized by a sudden urge to reach up and gently brush them away.

Right here, in this moment, she could almost believe that nothing had changed between them. That they were the old Amity and Luz, and that maybe, just maybe, Amity liked her back.

_She doesn’t. You know she doesn’t. She likes someone else._

The moment popped like a soap bubble, and Luz turned away, reaching out to open the door so that they could head inside.

Willow took one look at them and sent them off to take turns showering while she and Gus cooked dinner. Luz insisted that Amity go first, and she waited, shivering in her wet clothes and feeling sorry for herself.

It was the moments like these that hurt the most. The moments where she forgot, just for a second, and then remembered.

By the time they’d both showered and changed into dry clothes, dinner was ready. Gus had also managed to start a fire in the fireplace, which was very welcome after the freezing rain.

The four of them crowded around the small kitchen table to eat, then retreated to the living room to play board games. Gus had been thrilled to discover that Willow’s dads kept a large collection of games here and he insisted that they play one of his favorites, Settlers of Catan. So they all sat down on the living room floor in front of the fire, while he set it up and explained the rules. 

Luz had never played this game before, but she got the hang of it quickly, and felt her competitive streak coming out as she plotted where to build roads and cities, and bartered for resources. The game was a welcome distraction and she gave it all of her attention, pushing distressing thoughts about Amity to the back of her mind. 

She and Gus were the loudest by far, arguing back and forth over what constituted a fair trade while Amity and Willow exchanged long-suffering looks over the game board. Willow joined their arguments every now and again, but Amity said very little, quietly laying down roads and cities and buying development cards.

In the end, Amity won the game.

They called it a night not long after that. It was getting late, and they were all worn out from the long drive. Willow and Gus retreated to the guest room, and Luz felt an anxious knot form in the pit of her stomach as she followed Amity down the hall to the Master bedroom.

Silently, they took turns getting changed and brushing their teeth in the ensuite bathroom. Then, all too soon, they were both ready for bed.

“I’ll get the light,” Luz offered. Amity nodded, not quite meeting her eyes. 

She moved over to the bed and pulled back the covers so that she could climb in. Luz waited until she’d gotten settled, then flicked off the light switch, plunging the room into darkness.

Slowly, she made her way over to her side of the bed and crawled in, thanking her lucky stars that it was larger than her bed back home. They’d be able to keep a small amount of space between them, at least.

Lying on her back stiffly, Luz stared up at the ceiling, incredibly conscious of the fact that she was lying just a foot or so away from a girl who had a crush on someone else.

_Gosh, this must feel so, so awkward for her,_ she thought sadly.

This wasn’t like it had been, back when they’d shared a bed during winter break. Then, Luz had felt safe, happy, and cared for. Now, she just felt like an intruder.

_I bet she wishes it was her crush lying here next to her, instead of me._

“Night,” Amity said hesitantly, breaking the thick silence that lay over them.

“Night,” Luz said, hating the way her voice wavered. She rolled over so that she was facing away from her crush, as far away from Amity as she could get without falling off the bed. Silently, she willed herself not to snuggle closer to Amity in her sleep.

_Imagine if she woke up and found me spooning her? That would probably make her so uncomfortable._

Luz lay awake for a long time, and when the tears began to fall, she held her breath so that Amity wouldn’t notice.

  
  


*** 

  
  


The weather remained cold and rainy for most of the week. Amity and the others spent most of their time inside - watching movies, playing board games, and taking turns cooking and venturing out on trips to the supermarket.

Amity didn’t really mind being stuck inside, although by the fourth day they were all starting to suffer from a touch of cabin fever. But there was something nice about being trapped indoors with her friends - the four of them safe and warm in their own little world as the rain fell outside.

Like pebbles on a beach, the constant exposure to each other served to smooth away some of the rough edges between them. Amity no longer felt quite so awkward in Willow’s presence and she’d even begun to bond with Gus, once she discovered that they both shared a love of board games.

And then there was Luz. 

After that first day when they’d been caught in the rain, she’d dared to hope that their relationship might be on the mend. Standing there laughing with Luz as they both got increasingly drenched, Amity had felt a return of their old closeness. It had been hard to believe, in that moment, that anything had changed between them.

But that night when they’d gone to sleep in that overbearingly romantic room, the silence had been more awkward than ever. Amity had wanted to reach out - to say something to lighten the mood and ease the tension between them, but she couldn’t find the words. She couldn’t stop overthinking it, until eventually she just gave up, and went to sleep.

During the day, when they were around their other friends, she and Luz were fine. They talked, and joked around, and felt reasonably at ease with each other. But every night when they went to bed, the awkwardness returned - the tension between them so thick that Amity thought she might choke on it.

So the days passed in much the same way - hanging out and playing games with her friends during the day, and lying beside her crush every night while the silence stretched between them and the weight of all the words she wanted to say pressed down on her chest, suffocating her.

Then, on the last day before they were due to leave, the sun came out.

“Look!” Luz exclaimed, peering out of the living room window after they’d finished breakfast. “It’s sunny! Finally, we can go to the beach!”

Her enthusiasm never failed to make Amity smile, even if that smile was tinged with sadness now.

They got ready quickly - putting their swimsuits on under their clothes and packing sunscreen, towels, and snacks - then headed out the door and down the street to the beach.

It was fairly crowded when they arrived - clearly, they weren’t the only ones taking advantage of the warmer weather. But they found a spot and laid down their towels, then started passing the sunscreen around.

Luz stripped off her clothing almost immediately. Amity hastily averted her eyes, but not before noticing that her crush was wearing a bikini. 

Not a super revealing one, but still. There were a good few inches of smooth brown skin visible between the high waist of her bikini bottoms and the lower hem of her bikini top.

Amity _definitely_ did not let her eyes wander any further upwards in that direction. She could already feel the telltale heat of a blush spreading across her face.

Willow and Gus were also starting to remove layers of clothing, so Amity reluctantly did the same, peeling off her shorts and pulling her t-shirt over her head. She’d chosen to wear a plain black one-piece bathing suit - no different, really, from the leotards she wore to class every day. But she still felt oddly exposed, unused as she was to seeing her legs like this, without tights on.

Luz asked Willow to help her sunscreen her back, and Amity was both relieved and disappointed that her crush didn’t ask her to do it.

Once she’d finished applying sunscreen, Luz wasted no time - hopping to her feet and beckoning for Gus to join her. “Come on, Gus!” she exclaimed, “Let’s go practice lifts in the water!”

The two of them ran down the beach and into the ocean, and Amity had to laugh when Luz darted right back out again, screaming about how cold it was. Really, she was much too cute for her own good.

But Luz refused to be deterred, and in no time at all she and Gus were waist-deep in the water, practicing lifts from _Romeo & Juliet. _Amity looked on wistfully, from the safety of her towel.

“You’re in love with her, aren’t you?” Willow said.

Amity let out a small shriek of surprise, both in response to the question itself and because she’d been so caught up in watching Luz that she’d almost forgotten Willow was there.

Willow just looked at her smugly, as though Amity’s reaction had confirmed everything she needed to know, and Amity realized that she’d been found out. 

There was no point in trying to deny it. Willow already knew how she felt.

“Yeah,” she admitted, averting her eyes and hugging her knees to her chest for comfort. “Yeah, I am.”

Willow didn’t respond right away, simply regarding Amity in silence for a few moments. “Are you going to tell her?” she asked eventually.

Amity shook her head.

“Why not?” Willow asked.

“Because,” Amity said, glancing off to the side, away from Willow, “I know that she doesn’t feel the same way about me.” 

Her heart felt like it was being squeezed in her chest. Searching for a distraction, she ran her fingers through the sand that bordered her towel, grounding herself in the warmth and feel of it. 

“How do you know that, exactly?” Willow pressed. “If you’ve never told her?”

“She said so,” Amity explained, a lump forming in her throat at the memory. “At the Valentine’s Day party, she said we were just friends.”

“Really?” Willow said. She sounded deeply unimpressed. “ _That’s_ your excuse?”

“Well, what was I supposed to think?” Amity asked, stung. She turned to look at Willow, who was regarding her levelly, one eyebrow raised. “She said we were just friends! Was I not supposed to take her at her word?”

Didn’t Willow know how hard this was for her to talk about?! Couldn’t she _see_ how much Amity was hurting?

Willow folded her arms across her chest. “Was Luz not supposed to take you at your word when you told _her_ you liked someone else?” she asked.

Okay. Yeah. Amity supposed that was a valid point.

Wait. Was Willow suggesting… had she hurt _Luz_ , by saying that? 

Amity felt like she’d had the wind knocked out of her. She’d never meant to hurt Luz. That was the last thing she wanted.

“I shouldn’t have done that,” she admitted. “I was hurt by what she said, and I lied to save face. But me lying about my feelings doesn’t mean that Luz did too. She said we were just friends before I said anything about liking someone else.”

“I know that,” Willow said. “But did you ever consider that she might have said what she said for the same reason you did?”

“Not really,” Amity admitted.

But now that she thought about it, she supposed it _was_ possible. If Luz hadn’t been ready to tell Amity how she felt - if she’d been afraid of rejection, just like Amity was - then she might have said they were just friends as an excuse to avoid being found out.

_But… why wouldn’t she just_ tell _me how she felt?_

_Oh, you mean like_ you _told_ her _how_ you _feel?_ said a voice in her head that sounded suspiciously like Willow.

Amity had to admit that Willow’s voice had a point. She’d loved Luz for months, and she’d never said anything. She’d been too afraid.

“I think you should tell her how you feel,” Willow said.

“I’ve thought about it,” Amity admitted. “So many times, I thought about telling her. But I was always too afraid. And now… let’s just say that things between us aren’t what they used to be,” she said, with a rueful laugh.

Amity looked up at Willow pleadingly. “Has she said anything to you?” she asked, unable to keep the hope from her voice. “About me?”

Willow’s expression softened. “You know I can’t tell you that, Amity,” she said, not unkindly. “But, do you really think I’d be encouraging you to confess, if I thought you were definitely going to get rejected?”

No. No, Amity didn’t think that.

“I’ll think about it,” she said eventually. 

Willow smiled at her. “That’s all I can ask for.”

“I want to tell her,” Amity said. “But I need to fix our friendship first. I need to apologize to her for the way I’ve been acting.”

“Well, no time like the present,” Willow said, and Amity glanced up to see Luz and Gus heading back up the beach towards them.

Amity felt her heart begin to race. Still, she knew what she had to do.

Luz reached them first. Grabbing her towel, she began drying off. “Whew! That was fun,” she said. “Cold, but fun.” 

Amity was just trying not to stare at her. She looked _way_ too cute in that swimsuit.

Gus arrived and started toweling off as well. When he’d finished, Willow stood up.

“Hey, Gus,” she said. “Come for a walk with me?”

“I was just about to grab a snack…” Gus said reluctantly, looking longingly at the bags of chips they’d brought with them.

“You can eat afterwards,” Willow insisted, dragging him away by the arm and leaving Luz and Amity alone together.

“Hey,” Luz said, smiling at her. “You didn’t want to get in the water?”

“Not right now,” Amity replied. She patted the spot next to her. “Want to sit with me for a minute?”

She was proud of the fact that she managed to keep her voice steady.

“Sure,” Luz said, coming to sit down beside her. “Is something wrong? You look very serious all of a sudden.”

“No, nothing’s wrong,” Amity assured her. She hugged her knees to her chest again, resting her chin on them as she tried to find the right words.

When she was ready, she raised her eyes to meet Luz’s, holding her gaze steadily. “Luz,” she began, “I have something that I want to say to you.”

“Yeah?” Luz asked, and was it Amity’s imagination, or did she sound a little breathless?

“I just wanted to say,” Amity continued, “That I know things have been weird between us lately, and… well, I’m sorry for that. And I’d really like to make it up to you, if you’ll let me.”

Luz’s eyes widened. “Oh, no, Amity, _I_ should be the one apologizing to _you!_ ” she exclaimed. “What happened between us was my fault. I was the one who was acting weird, not you. And I’m really sorry for pushing you away like that. I hope you can forgive me.”

Luz’s expression was so earnest, it made Amity’s heart clench. God, she loved this girl.

Smiling softly, Amity said, “Only if you can forgive me too. Because it wasn’t just you, Luz.”

“Okay,” Luz agreed, returning Amity’s smile with one of her own. “Shake on it?” she asked, extending her hand.

Amity laughed, taking Luz’s hand in hers. “I forgive you,” she said.

“I forgive you too,” Luz replied. “I’ve really missed you, Amity,” she added, with a sad smile.

Amity knew exactly what that felt like. “I’ve really missed you too, Luz,” she said.

Luz opened her arms. “Hug?” she asked, and Amity nodded, scooching closer and melting into her crush’s embrace. She wrapped her arms around Luz, reveling in the comforting feeling of being held by the person she loved most. 

Luz hugged her tightly, and if both of them held on a few seconds longer than was strictly necessary, well, no one had to know but them.

Eventually, Luz released her, and Amity reluctantly let go as well. “So…” Luz said, a little awkwardly. “How are things going with your crush?”

Amity blinked in surprise. Oh, right. Luz still thought she liked someone else.

It would be so easy to tell her, right now. To just blurt it all out, consequences be damned. But their relationship was still fragile, and whether Luz liked her back or not, this wasn’t the right time to confess.

“I don’t know,” Amity admitted truthfully, with a wry smile. “I’m not sure if she likes me back.”

“Well, she’d be crazy not to,” Luz said, smiling encouragingly at her. “You’re amazing. Anyone would be lucky to have you.”

Amity’s cheeks colored faintly with pleasure. “Thanks,” she said shyly.

_Do you really think so, Luz? Does ‘anyone’ include you?_

Amity promised herself that she’d ask those questions soon. She’d tell Luz the truth about how she felt - just, not right now. Not yet. 

She needed to give their relationship more time to heal first.

  
  


***

  
  


Rehearsals for Workshop began as soon as the students were back from spring break. In addition to her role as Juliet, Luz also had a small part in Western Symphony, but it was the balcony pas de deux that demanded most of her time and attention.

The four of them - her, Amity, Gus, and Matt - had rehearsals together most evenings in one of the smaller studios, after classes had finished for the day.

Being in rehearsals again reminded Luz of Nutcracker, earlier in the year. It was a nice feeling. She’d missed the excitement of having an upcoming performance to prepare for.

This time, though, she was the one getting to dance a principal role.

And the fact that she shared the role with Amity made the whole experience feel even more special. They were together again, just like they had been in Nutcracker. Things between them still weren’t quite what they were back then, but in the days since the conversation on the beach, the distance between them had shrunk considerably. Luz hoped that rehearsing the role of Juliet together would be the final step towards erasing that distance completely, and becoming as close as they had once been.

Really, there was only one thing holding Luz back from bridging that gap fully. She still hadn’t completely made peace with the fact that Amity liked someone else, that they would never be more than friends.

Luz was trying - she really was. She wanted to be satisfied with the relationship that she and Amity _did_ have. After all, hadn’t she always said that their friendship was the most important thing? She’d had a taste of what it would be like to lose it, these past couple of months, and that wasn’t an experience she ever wanted to repeat.

It was hard, though, because she still loved Amity _so_ much. She couldn’t just turn her feelings off the way she’d turn off water from a tap. 

And so, she still kept her guard up. Just a little bit. She was afraid that if she let Amity all the way back in, she’d worm her way even further into Luz’s heart. Then, when Amity’s crush inevitably returned her feelings, it would shatter into a million pieces. 

Luz’s heart had been damaged enough on Valentine’s Day. She wasn’t sure how much more it could take.

As she often did, Luz was pondering the question of Amity’s crush late on Thursday evening during their first week back. To an outside observer, she appeared to be reading a book, but she’d long since given up any pretense of being able to concentrate on the story, and it had been almost ten minutes since she’d last turned the page.

_Who could Amity like?_

Luz considered the question for what was probably the thousandth time, glancing across the room to where her crush sat on her own bed, sewing ribbons on a new pair of Pointe shoes.

She’d been watching Amity more closely in the days since they’d returned to Hexside, and she had yet to find any evidence of Amity being in regular communication with anyone other than herself, Willow, Gus, and, occasionally, her siblings. Amity rarely texted anyone in Luz’s presence, and she certainly didn’t have long conversations with the people she did text.

Luz had even taken the liberty of looking through the list of people Amity followed on Instagram, to see if there were any likely candidates. But Amity mostly followed the Instagram accounts of principal ballet dancers, and a well-known dancer who she’d never actually met didn’t seem like a reasonable choice for a serious crush. A celebrity crush, maybe, but not a real one.

_So who could it be?_

Reluctantly, Luz had to admit that she was getting nowhere on her own. Maybe she should just ask Amity again, now that things were better between them.

But when she considered the idea, Luz found that she didn’t particularly want to. 

Why was that? Was it because she was afraid of hearing the answer? Was she afraid that knowing the name of Amity’s crush would make the whole thing feel more real to her, somehow?

Maybe that was it. 

_Or maybe,_ whispered a small voice in the back of her mind, _it’s because you already know the answer._

Luz pushed the voice away.

_No. Don’t do this to yourself. Don’t get your hopes up._

Amity had said that she liked someone else, and Luz was going to take her at her word.

Still, though, she had to admit that the whole thing didn’t make much sense. Amity was busy - they all were - and she spent most of what little free time she had with Luz and their other friends. She didn’t go out into the city much, so she wasn’t meeting up with anyone. And Luz had never seen her stare at her phone with any kind of silly smile or lovesick expression, such as one might wear when messaging a crush.

Would she even recognize Amity’s lovesick expression, if she saw it? 

Luz combed through her memories of the past seven months - of all the times she and Amity had spent together. Had she ever seen her crush look that way at anyone?

Oh. 

Wait a minute.

Yes. Yes, she had.

_The only times I’ve seen her with any kind of lovesick expression are when…_

_Are when she’s looking at me._

The realization hit her with such force, it made her head spin.

_She likes me. Amity likes me._

All the little moments between them, all the blushes and smiles and wistful glances, suddenly took on an entirely new meaning.

_This whole time,_ I _was her crush!_

So when she’d told Amity, at the Valentine’s Day party, that they were just friends…

Luz’s eyes widened in slowly dawning horror.

_Oh my God, I have been SUCH an idiot!_

The book she’d been reading fell from her hands and hit the floor with a loud _thunk._

“Luz? Are you okay?” Amity asked, looking up in concern. 

Luz realized that she must have been staring off into space with a very intense look on her face and, with an effort, she wrestled her turbulent emotions back under control.

“Huh?” she said. “Oh, yeah, uh, I’m fine! Everything’s fine!” 

“Are you sure?” Amity asked, leaning down to pick up the book which lay on the floor between their beds. “You dropped your book,” she said, offering it to Luz.

Luz took it. “Thanks,” she said shakily. 

_You’re really going to leave it at that? Come on, Luz! Tell her!_

“Hey, Amity?” she squeaked, blurting out the words before she could lose her nerve.

“Yeah, Luz?” Amity replied, looking at her expectantly, and Luz realized that actually, she hadn’t thought this through at all.

_Oh, crap! What do I say? “Hey, Amity, I just realized that you’re in love with me, and, well, that’s good! Really good, because actually, you see, I’ve been in love with you this entire time, and if I’d just_ told _you that two months ago we could have been kissing and cuddling and going on dates, instead of being hurt and upset with each other. I’m sorry I’m such an idiot, but hey - at least I figured it out eventually?”_

She didn’t say any of that. 

“Do you want to go and practice what we learned in rehearsal today?” was what came out of her mouth instead.

_Ah, well. Could have been worse._

Amity looked at her quizzically. “Luz, it’s almost ten p.m.”

“Well yeah,” Luz said, floundering as she tried to come up with an excuse for a late night training session. “But, uh, there were a few things I really wanted to work on before tomorrow, and I could really use your help.”

_Ha! Saved it._

Amity looked as though she didn’t quite buy it. “From what I can tell, you’ve been doing great in rehearsal,” she said. “But sure, we can go and practice for a bit if you want.”

Luz breathed a sigh of relief. _Whew, that was close._

Now that she thought about it, she didn't want to just blurt out her feelings at random. Amity deserved better than that.

No, Luz needed to pick her moment. And as she went to get changed into her dancing gear, an idea started to form in the back of her mind.

  
  


***

  
  


Amity pushed open the door to one of the smaller ballet studios, flicking on the lights as she entered. Technically, they weren’t supposed to use the studios this late at night, but the Hexside staff generally turned a blind eye to such things, and often left the studios unlocked.

Luz followed her inside, and they gravitated towards their usual spot by the far wall, setting down their dance bags and sitting on the floor to put on their Pointe shoes.

It was cold in the studio and, for now, Amity kept on the sweatpants and long-sleeved top she’d worn over her leotard and tights. Luz traded her sweatpants for the pair of legwarmers Amity had given her for Christmas, and the sight of them made Amity smile.

First, they performed some exercises at the barre to warm up their bodies. After about twenty minutes, Amity was feeling sufficiently warm, and she peeled off her outer layers.

“Nice leotard,” Luz said. “The color suits you.”

“Thanks,” Amity said, blushing. The leotard she wore was one of her favorites - dark green, with a mesh neckline and sleeves that reached to just above her elbow.

Had she hoped that Luz might notice how nice it looked on her? Perhaps.

“Are you warmed up enough?” Amity asked, and Luz nodded. “Okay then, let’s get started.” 

Then she hesitated, unsure where to begin. “What was it you wanted to practice?” she asked. “You mentioned there was something you were having trouble with.”

She saw the briefest flash of something like panic cross Luz’s face, but it was gone before she could be sure. 

“Could we just, uh, start by going over the steps we learned today?” Luz asked. “I know neither of us has a partner, but we can just mark the lifts and stuff.”

“Okay,” Amity agreed, a little confused by Luz’s apparent reluctance to tell her what exactly it was that she wanted to work on. “We can start with that.”

They began by going over some of Juliet’s solo bits, since they didn’t need a partner for those. There was a lot of jumping in those sections, which Luz usually excelled at. But Amity noticed that, although Luz was the one who had asked for this practice session, she seemed distracted tonight. Much more than she ever did during rehearsals. It was as if her heart just wasn’t in it.

“Is this helpful?” Amity asked, when they stopped for a quick water break. “You seem a little… distracted. Are you okay?”

“What? Oh, yeah, I’m fine,” Luz replied, with a laugh that sounded forced. 

They were both sweating now, after all that jumping. Luz set her water bottle down and then pulled off her long sleeve top, lifting it over her head to reveal a camisole leotard underneath. 

The leotard was a rich purple color and when Luz turned around to stow her clothing back in her dance bag, Amity saw that it dipped low in the back - lower than any of the leotards she’d seen Luz wear before. Hastily, she tore her eyes away from the expanse of warm brown skin and toned back muscles that were suddenly on display.

Luz took her legwarmers off as well, and then turned to face Amity again.

“What do you want to work on now?” Amity asked, still feeling a little flustered. 

_Gosh, I really am pathetic. Amity Blight, reduced to a blushing mess by the sight of her crush’s bare back. While the rest of her is still fully clothed, no less!_

Shaking her head to clear it, she very deliberately focused her attention on Luz’s face while she waited for her to respond.

Her crush didn’t meet her gaze, awkwardly shifting from foot to foot.

_Okay, what is going_ on _with her tonight? Is something wrong?_

“Actually,” Luz said hesitantly, “I was hoping maybe we could work on the acting side of things.”

Amity frowned in confusion. “How do you mean?” she asked. 

“Well, one of us would have to stand in for Romeo,” Luz explained.

Was it just Amity, or did she sound nervous?

Then the meaning of Luz’s words caught up with her. Wait a second - what did she mean, one of them had to stand in for Romeo? What, exactly, did she want to practice?

Oh. Uh-oh.

This was dangerous.

“So you want to practice the- the romance stuff?” Amity stammered, and Luz nodded.

“Wouldn’t it be better for you to practice that with Gus?” she protested weakly. “ _He’s_ your Romeo, after all.”

“Yes, he is, and I will practice with him,” Luz said, sounding a little more sure of herself. “But he’s not here right now, and you’re the best actress in our class.” 

Amity hesitated. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to help Luz, it was just… it wouldn’t exactly be _acting._ Not for her, anyway. 

It felt like they were skating dangerously close to the edge again, and that hadn’t gone so well, last time.

“Please, Amity,” Luz said quietly. “I could really use your help.”

And oh, Amity could never say no to Luz when she looked at her like that - with that soft, earnest expression that always made her heart melt. She definitely didn’t understand what was going on here - if asked, she would have said that _Luz_ was the best actress in their class, not her - but if Luz really wanted her help, then of course she’d give it.

Even if she was afraid that Luz was going to see right through her, and figure out she wasn’t faking it.

“Okay,” Amity agreed. “I assume you want me to be Romeo?”

Luz nodded. “Yes, please. If you don’t mind.”

“I don’t mind. So… what did you want to practice, exactly?” Amity asked.

“Well...” Luz began, then hesitated, blushing. 

“You know that moment right at the end of the pas de deux?” she continued. “The one where Romeo and Juliet have their big kiss?”

Oh, no.

Amity did not like where this was going. She did not like it one bit.

“...Yeah,” she said in a strangled tone of voice, feeling her own face heat up. 

_Is it too late to back out now?_

“I want to practice the lead up to that,” Luz explained, her blush deepening. “You know, the whole gazing-into-each-other’s-eyes thing. I want to make sure I’m properly conveying the emotions to the audience.

“O-okay,” Amity stammered. “We can, uh, we can do that. Sure. No problem.”

She took a few steps away, back out into the middle of the studio. “I’ll just, uh, I’ll just stand here,” she said to Luz, “And you can come to me.”

Luz nodded, and at Amity’s signal, she approached her, coming in close and resting her hands on Amity’s shoulders. Amity placed her trembling hands on Luz’s waist, just like Romeo was supposed to. 

“Okay, now just... pretend you’re in love with me,” Amity instructed, her voice shaking.

_Oh, why did I let her talk me into this?_

Luz smiled, and then Amity’s breath caught in her throat.

Her crush was gazing at her with so much love in her eyes, that it made Amity feel woozy.

_She's just acting,_ Amity reminded herself. _She’s playing a part._

But… hold on a second. _Was_ she?

There was something there in Luz’s expression. Something real. Genuine.

Amity looked deep into her eyes, searching for some hint of artifice, of feigned emotion. She found none. 

All she saw there was love. Real love.

Luz was a good actress, but she wasn’t _that_ good.

Their faces were only inches apart, and Amity felt it again - the tension, the electricity that crackled between them. Just like that day in the snow, time seemed to slow as the world shrunk to just the two of them.

This time, though, there was no one there to interrupt them.

This time, Amity leaned in.

The kiss was over almost as soon as it had begun. Amity pulled away abruptly, shocked by what she'd just done. 

"I'm sorry!" she exclaimed, "I shouldn’t have done that, not without..."

_Asking first._

But the words died in her throat. Luz’s hands tightened on her shoulders, holding Amity in place, and the expression in those beautiful brown eyes she loved so much was like nothing Amity had ever seen before.

Slowly, gently, Luz’s hands slid upwards, coming to rest on either side of Amity’s face. Her gaze flicked briefly downwards, to Amity’s lips, and back up again. For an instant, time stood still.

Then, Luz kissed her.

  
  
  
  
  



	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is just 4.8k words of pure, tooth-rotting fluff. Luz and Amity have earned it, and you all have earned it as well. Enjoy! :)
> 
> Artwork in this chapter is by chaos_bicycle :)

When Luz’s lips met hers, Amity experienced a moment of stunned disbelief.

_Luz is kissing me. She’s really kissing me._

Luz’s lips were soft and warm, and her hands gently caressed Amity’s face. Dazed, her brain still struggling to catch up, Amity observed the new sensations her body was experiencing as if from a distance.

Absently, she wondered if this was a dream.

_If it is, I don’t ever want to wake up._

That thought helped to anchor her in the moment and she kissed Luz back, wrapping her arms around the other girl and pulling her close. Luz responded, tangling her fingers in Amity’s hair and deepening the kiss. 

The feel of her lit a fire in Amity’s veins, warmth spreading through her chest as her heart began to race. Dimly, she registered that her hands were now caressing the bare skin of Luz’s back. 

Her skin was hot to the touch.

Luz - her warmth, her body, that smell which was uniquely _hers_ \- surrounded Amity, invading all of her senses. Her heart fluttered in her chest as she pressed herself closer, closer. She couldn’t seem to get close enough.

Seven months of longing, wishing, and yearning, and a lifetime of repression, of holding herself back and keeping everything in, came pouring out of Amity and into that kiss. She clung to Luz as though her life depended on it, her entire body trembling.

The last coherent thought she had before thought fled entirely was that despite all the hours she had devoted to imagining what it would be like to kiss Luz, she had never even come close to the real thing. 

For once, reality far outstripped her daydreams.

  
  


***

  
  


Eventually, they came up for air. The moment Luz’s lips left hers, she wrapped her arms around Amity’s shoulders and pulled her into a crushing hug. Luz buried her face in Amity’s hair, and it was only then that Amity realized Luz was shaking just as much as she was.

She buried her own face in Luz’s neck, inhaling deeply. Unable to resist, she planted a brief kiss on the spot where Luz’s shoulder met her neck, and the shiver that passed through Luz when she did so felt like the greatest reward Amity had ever received.

They held each other for a few moments, and then Luz pulled away - just enough to look into Amity’s eyes. Instantly, Amity missed the warmth of Luz’s body pressed against her own.

“Wow,” Luz said, a dazed expression on her face, “I think I need to sit down.”

“Me too,” Amity agreed shakily. She was trembling all over, her knees threatening to give way at any moment and drop her to the floor in a heap.

Slowly, almost regretfully, Luz removed her hands from Amity’s shoulders. She staggered back a couple of steps, looking every bit as unsteady as Amity felt, and sank to the floor without any of her usual grace.

Amity sat down where she stood, keeping that little bit of distance between them. “Are you okay?” she asked anxiously, worried that she’d somehow managed to break Luz.

That _would_ be just her luck, wouldn’t it?

“Yeah,” Luz said, with a wry chuckle. “I’m fine. That was just… wow.”

_Good wow or bad wow?!_ Amity wondered frantically.

“Y’know,” Luz continued, eyes dancing, “For two people who’ve never kissed anyone before, I think we’re actually pretty good at it.”

Amity felt her face heat up.

_Good wow, then._

Luz grinned at her, and Amity felt an answering grin form on her own face. They just sat there, smiling giddily at each other, for several moments.

_What do you say to someone you’ve just kissed for the first time?_ Amity wondered, when the silence had stretched on long enough that she was beginning to feel the need to break it.

_Do I, I don’t know, thank her? Tell her I’d like to do it again?_

The thought made Amity’s blush deepen. She couldn’t imagine saying either of those things out loud.

In the end, Luz saved her. Her eyes flicked past Amity’s face, and her smile turned rueful. “Sorry, I think I messed up your hair,” she said apologetically.

Amity reached up to investigate, and found that Luz had managed to pull most of her hair free of its ponytail. Sheepishly, she removed her hair tie and pulled it over her wrist. She shook her hair out, running her fingers through it in a mostly fruitless attempt to de-tangle it.

Suddenly, she became aware that Luz’s eyes were following her movements, and the realization brought color to her cheeks for an entirely different reason.

She didn’t think anyone had ever looked at her like that before. It was like… well, it was like the way she looked at Luz, when she thought no one was watching.

And now Luz was turning that same adoring look back on her, and Amity had _no idea_ how to handle it.

_Come on Amity, you just kissed the girl! All she’s doing right now is_ looking _at you, and you’re a total mess. Pull yourself together!_

“You’re really beautiful,” Luz said shyly, a blush spreading across her face.

Okay, yeah, there was absolutely no way she could handle this. 

Amity promptly drew her knees up to her chest and buried her very red face in them.

“Did I do something wrong?” Luz asked worriedly. Amity raised her head slightly to find her crush just a few inches away on her hands and knees, peering at her anxiously.

“N-no, you didn’t,” Amity stammered. “It’s just... you called me beautiful and I… I don’t really know what’s happening right now,” she finished lamely.

_Wow, Amity. Just wow._

Luz frowned, brow furrowing in confusion. “I thought it was pretty obvious,” she said, rocking back to sit on her heels. “I mean, I had planned on doing a proper confession, but then you kissed me, and I figured we were on the same page.”

_A proper confession?!_

“I still want to hear it,” Amity said quickly. 

“What, you mean that kiss wasn’t confession enough for you?” Luz teased gently, a smile playing on her lips.

“Please,” Amity said, soft and earnest. “I want to know what you were going to say.”

At her words, Luz’s teasing expression shifted to something softer, more open. Almost… vulnerable. 

She glanced down, studying her hands for a moment as twin spots of red appeared in her cheeks. Then, she raised her eyes to meet Amity’s.

“I love you, Amity,” Luz confessed softly. “That’s what I was going to say.”

_Oh._

Luz hadn’t said: I _like_ you, Amity. She’d said: I _love_ you, Amity.

Amity’s heart felt like it was swelling in her chest, warmth spreading throughout her entire body. Idly, she wondered if it was dangerous to feel this much.

“I-It’s okay if you don’t feel the same-” Luz continued, gazing at her anxiously.

_Say it back, you idiot!_

“I love you too!” Amity said quickly, louder than she’d meant to.

Luz’s expression softened instantly. “You do?” she asked, quiet and hopeful.

Shyly, Amity nodded. “Yeah,” she said. “I do.”

Luz’s answering smile lit up her face like dawn breaking over the horizon, and the sight of it made Amity’s heart skip a beat.

_Wow. She really_ does _love me._

That was a concept that was going to take some getting used to, and honestly, Amity wasn’t sure she’d ever be used to it. The new knowledge - _Luz loves me_ \- hummed in her blood, making her feel lightheaded, almost drunk, with happiness.

_Not that I have any idea what being drunk actually feels like… but I imagine it might be something like this._

Luz scooted closer to Amity, her brown eyes sparkling. “There was more, if you still want to hear it,” she said shyly.

Amity nodded. “Yes, please.”

Gently, Luz reached out and took hold of Amity’s hands, gazing into her eyes with that soft, earnest expression of hers - the one that never failed to make Amity melt.

“Okay, here goes,” Luz said. “When I first met you, I wasn’t sure about you.” 

She smiled wryly, presumably at the memory of those early days. “I wanted to get to know you, but it didn’t seem like you wanted to get to know me,” Luz explained, and Amity ducked her head in shame, remembering how standoffish she’d been back then.

“Then I walked in on you reading Azura one day, and everything changed.” 

Amity glanced up again, to see Luz smiling at her with the fondest expression she’d ever seen. “The girl I got to know after that day was the warmest and kindest person I’d ever met,” Luz said quietly, tracing gentle circles with her thumb on the back of Amity’s hand, and Amity felt a lump form in her throat.

“I know you don’t always think of yourself as a good person, because of what happened with Willow when you were younger,” Luz continued, “But you _are._ The fact that you feel so much guilt over something that wasn’t really your fault proves it. You care _so_ much, and you worked so hard to make things right with Willow and I really admire you for that.”

The lump in Amity’s throat had to be at least golf ball sized by now.

_Don’t cry don’t cry don’t cry don’t cry don’t cry…_

“You’re beautiful, and smart, and funny, and sweet, and you kick my butt at Uno every time we play,” Luz said with a wry chuckle, and Amity choked out a laugh. “I love being around you, and I love watching you dance. You’re an incredible dancer, and I never would have gotten into Nutcracker without your help.”

“I don’t think that’s-” Amity began.

“Shush,” Luz cut her off gently, “I’m not finished.” 

Amity shushed.

“You’re the best friend I’ve ever had,” Luz continued, “And those two months when things weren’t right between us were probably the worst two months of my life. I missed you so much - I felt like I’d lost a part of myself.”

Amity nodded, fighting to contain the tears that threatened to spill over at any moment. “I felt the same,” she said thickly, around the tennis ball sized lump in her throat.

Luz squeezed Amity’s hands comfortingly. “I can’t pinpoint the exact moment when I started to fall in love with you, because it felt as natural as breathing,” she said. “In a way, it feels like I’ve always been in love with you.”

Amity could definitely relate to that feeling. It was hard to even remember a time when she hadn’t loved Luz.

“So,” Luz concluded, with a sheepish smile, “I guess what I’m trying to say is… I love you, Amity, and I was wondering if you might want to be my girlfriend?”

Amity let out a strangled half-sob, half-laugh, and gently removed her hands from Luz’s so that she could wipe away the tears welling up in her eyes.

_Well_ shit, _how am I ever going to top that?!_

She took a few deep breaths to bring her emotions under control. When she felt like she could speak again without immediately bursting into tears, she squared her shoulders and met Luz’s gaze once more.

“Before I answer that,” she said, “There are some things I’d like to say to you as well.”

“Okay,” Luz said, her voice a touch breathless. Amity reached out and took Luz’s hands again, interlacing their fingers.

“I’m sorry for the way I acted when we first met,” she began. “After what happened with Willow, I was afraid of getting close to anyone. I thought it would be easier if I kept you at a distance.” She smiled ruefully. “But I’m _so_ glad you didn’t let me.”

Luz was gazing at her intently, hanging on her every word. 

“You changed my life, Luz,” Amity said simply. “Before you came here, I was… really sad. I didn’t have many friends, and I’d lost my love for dancing. But you helped me find it again.”

Amity took a deep, shaky breath. “I think I started falling in love with you from the moment I first saw you dance,” she confessed. “You had this lightness about you, this joy, and I just couldn’t look away. You were dancing for no one but yourself, and I admired that so much. Because that’s never been the case for me.”

She sniffled a little, fighting to keep the tears from spilling over. “Then I got to know you, and you were just… the most amazing person I’d ever met. So open, and _kind,_ and just… so willing to give me the benefit of the doubt, in a way that no one ever had before.”

For a moment, Amity glanced down at their clasped hands. “When you asked me about what happened with Willow, I was so afraid I was going to lose you,” she admitted. “I didn’t think you’d still want to be friends with me, once you knew. But you surprised me. You surprise me every day, Luz.”

She looked up again, gazing deep into Luz’s beautiful brown eyes. Like her own, they glistened with unshed tears. “I love everything about you,” she said, her voice trembling. “I love your smile, and the look you get in your eyes when you’re excited about something. I love how passionate you are - about ballet, about Azura, and the people you care about. And I _hate_ that you felt like you had to hide that part of yourself in order to fit in, because Luz, the truth is that you’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever met - inside and out.”

Luz was crying freely now, and Amity scooted closer, releasing her hands so that she could reach up and gently wipe the tears from her cheeks. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

“Don’t you _dare_ apologize!” Luz sobbed, throwing her arms around Amity and burying her face in her shoulder. Amity rubbed her back gently while Luz wrestled with her emotions.

When Luz’s breathing slowed and her tears began to subside, Amity said, “I still need to answer your question.”

Luz raised her tear-streaked face from Amity’s shoulder, looking at her expectantly. Amity tried to channel all of the tenderness she felt for Luz into her answering smile.

“I love you, Luz,” she said, “And I would love to be your girlfriend. Provided that you’ll be mine as well, of course.”

Luz smiled through her tears. “I can live with those terms,” she said, laughing softly, and then she reached up and gently drew Amity forward into another kiss.

  
  


***

  
  


Some time later, they thought to check how late it was.

Amity crawled over to her dance bag and pulled out her phone, turning the screen on. She winced, sucking in a breath. “Luz, it’s after midnight.”

“Oh,” Luz said sheepishly, raising a hand to the back of her neck. “Oops.”

“We’re going to be so tired tomorrow,” Amity groaned, her face pinched with worry. Luz felt an anxious knot form in the pit of her stomach at the sight. She didn’t want Amity to be stressed - not tonight. Not after everything that had just happened between them.

_I still can’t believe I kissed her. I still can’t believe she loves me._

“Hey,” Luz said gently, “It was worth it though, right?”

She attempted a playful tone, but she didn’t completely succeed in keeping the anxiety out of her voice. What if Amity was really upset? Luz knew how serious she was about her dancing.

But Amity’s face softened instantly. “Yeah,” she sighed dreamily. “It really was.”

Oh, wow. Okay. It felt _really_ good to be able to inspire that kind of a reaction in Amity. Amity, who was her _girlfriend._

After a few moments, Luz realized that they had trailed off into silence again - lost in each other’s eyes, dreamy smiles on both their faces. That seemed to be happening a lot, tonight.

“I guess we should probably go,” she said at last, regretfully.

“Probably,” Amity agreed, but she still made no moves to get up.

Luz understood her reluctance. Here, in this studio where they had kissed and confessed their love for each other, the air itself had taken on a kind of magical quality. It was like they were in their own little world, and she wasn’t sure if she was ready to re-enter the larger one just yet.

She wanted her world to stop at just the two of them - for a little while longer, anyway.

But it _was_ after midnight, and they had a long day of class and rehearsals tomorrow.

With a sigh, Luz rose to her feet. Approaching Amity, she extended her hand. “Come on,” she said gently. “Let’s go back upstairs.”

“Okay,” Amity said, reaching up and allowing Luz to help pull her to a standing position. Luz couldn’t resist planting a soft kiss on the back of Amity’s hand, and was gratified to see a gentle dusting of pink spread across her girlfriend’s face.

She _really_ enjoyed making Amity blush.

They quickly put their street clothes back on over their leotards, and swapped out their Pointe shoes for sneakers. Then they grabbed their dance bags and headed out, switching off the lights and closing the studio door behind them.

As they rode the lift back up to level 5, Luz reached out and took hold of Amity’s hand. Amity gripped her hand tightly, almost possessively, and neither of them let go until they were back in their dorm room.

Once they were inside, Luz remembered that earlier in the evening - before... well, before everything that had happened - she and Amity had been dancing for the better part of an hour. Suddenly, she was uncomfortably aware of the sensation of dried sweat on her skin. 

“I, uh, probably need to take a quick shower before bed,” she admitted sheepishly.

Amity blushed again, although this time, Luz wasn’t sure why. “Oh, yeah, me too,” Amity said shakily. “You, uh, you go first. I’ll wait here.”

There were enough stalls available for them to shower at the same time, but Luz understood why Amity didn’t want to. She wasn’t sure she’d be able to handle it herself. Showering, while Amity was doing the same just a few feet away…

Luz felt her own face heat up. Okay, maybe she did understand why Amity was blushing.

She shook her head to clear it. “Right!” Luz said. “Yep. I’ll go first.” She grabbed her toiletry bag and her pajamas and headed for the door. “Back soon!”

Unsurprisingly, there was no one in the bathroom at this late hour. Luz hurried into one of the showers and stripped off her clothing, then put her hair up in a messy bun to avoid getting it wet and turned on the water, stepping under the warm stream.

As she showered, she replayed the events of the last couple of hours, a big dumb grin on her face.

_Amity loves me._

The knowledge warmed her entire body, from the inside out. She didn’t think she’d ever get used to it.

Luz closed her eyes, remembering the kiss. Amity’s lips had been so soft, and she’d clung to Luz as if she were the only solid thing in the world, kissing her with an intensity that made Luz’s head spin.

As first kisses went, that had to have been up there with the best.

Then, afterwards, when she’d pressed that kiss to Luz’s neck… it had felt like a bolt of electricity shooting straight to her core.

Even now, the memory of it sent the blood rushing to her face. Embarrassed by her body’s reaction, Luz pushed the thought away, quickly adjusting the temperature of her shower to be a few degrees cooler.

She finished her shower quickly and turned off the water, briskly drying herself off and changing into her pajamas. Amity needed to shower too, and Luz didn’t want to keep her waiting.

Luz brushed her teeth at the sink and then left the bathroom. When she entered her dorm room again, Amity was sitting on the bed, idly scrolling through her phone.

She looked up when Luz entered, her cheeks a familiar shade of pink. Luz smiled at the sight. Now that she knew what Amity’s blushes meant, she simply couldn’t get enough of them.

“Hey,” Amity said softly.

“Hey,” Luz replied. “Shower’s free, if you want it.”

Amity nodded and stood up, gathering her things and heading for the door. “I’ll be quick,” she said as she left, her voice a little higher and more breathless than usual.

Luz couldn’t get enough of that, either.

_I can’t believe I apparently make her every bit as flustered as she makes me._

Still smiling over how adorable her crush - no, her _girlfriend_ \- was, Luz got into bed and scrolled through her phone while she waited for Amity to return.

Amity wasn’t gone long. When she came back in, wearing her pajamas and with the tangles combed from her hair, the sight of her made Luz’s heart skip a beat.

_God, she’s cute._

Luz had seen Amity in her pajamas before, of course - hundreds of times. But there was something different about it, now that they’d… now that they’d kissed. Now that they were girlfriends.

It felt so much more intimate, somehow.

Her face felt warm, and she was pretty sure she was blushing again. That seemed to be her default state whenever she was around Amity.

Or, even when she was just thinking about her.

_Ah, well. At least now I know that I can make her blush, too._

There was that warmth again, curling around her heart like steam rising from a mug of coffee on a cold day. That little bubble of joy that Luz felt every time she remembered that _Amity liked her back._

Amity put her things away and then perched on the edge of her bed, gazing across the room at Luz.

“So… I guess we should probably go to sleep now,” she said, sounding regretful.

“Yeah, probably,” Luz agreed. “It’s almost one.” She set her alarm for the morning, wincing at the too-few hours of sleep available to her between now and then.

Luz switched on her bedside lamp and Amity stood up to turn off the main lights. As she was heading back to her own bed, Luz stopped her.

“Wait,” she said.

Luz wasn’t ready to be separated from Amity just yet - even if it was only by the short distance between their beds.

Amity looked at her quizzically, and Luz lifted up the edge of her covers in invitation. “Why don’t you sleep here, with me?” she offered.

Amity’s eyes widened, and Luz watched as her entire face turned bright red. It was actually impressive.

“Oh, uh, I’m not sure…” she stammered, and there was a definite hint of panic in her voice.

Luz was confused by her reaction. They’d shared a bed before - why was Amity suddenly so anxious about it? Anxious and… extremely embarrassed, judging by the strength of her blush.

_Oh._

Luz felt the blood rush to her own face as she realized what Amity might have thought she was implying.

“N-no!” she exclaimed frantically. “Nothing like _that!_ I just meant - I want to cuddle you! That’s all.”

“Oh,” Amity said, voice tinged with relief. “Okay. Because I’m definitely not ready for… _that,_ yet.”

“Me neither,” Luz agreed wholeheartedly.

Amity approached her slowly, and Luz shuffled over as far as she could to make room for her in the small bed. Her girlfriend crawled in beside her, shyly snuggling closer to Luz. Their knees and arms were touching, and Amity’s beautiful face was only a few inches away from Luz’s own.

“Hi,” Luz breathed, her voice so soft that if Amity had been in her own bed just a few feet away, she wouldn’t have heard it.

“Hi,” Amity replied, just as softly.

Luz knew that she should reach up and turn off the light, but she made no move to do so. She was too busy drinking in the sight of her girlfriend’s face, and getting lost in those mesmerizing golden eyes with their darker amber flecks.

Amity was returning her gaze with equal tenderness, her eyes roaming over Luz’s face. Before she could think about it too much, Luz reached up and gently threaded her fingers through her girlfriend’s bronze hair. The strands of it were impossibly soft.

Amity closed her eyes, making a small sound of contentment as Luz continued to stroke her hair. Luz’s heart felt like it was in danger of swelling out of her chest. 

“Your hair is so soft,” she murmured.

Amity snuggled closer, and one of her arms draped itself over Luz’s waist. She began to rub slow, gentle circles on Luz’s back, and Luz felt her own eyes flutter closed in response to her touch.

This, right here, was a perfect moment. Luz had never before felt so at peace - so utterly content - and she could quite easily have drifted off to sleep like this, in their little bubble of happiness.

But there was something she wanted to say to Amity first.

“Hey, Amity?” she said, opening her eyes again. Golden eyes stared back into hers.

“Yeah, Luz?” Amity asked, just the barest hint of worry in her voice.

“I just… wanted to apologize,” Luz said. “For Valentine’s Day.” 

She winced at the hurt that flashed briefly in Amity’s eyes, but she soldiered on. “I should never have said we were just friends,” she explained. “I was afraid to tell you the truth, but I know that I hurt you and I’m really sorry for that. Please believe me when I say that hurting you was the last thing I ever wanted to do.”

The hand that had been tracing circles on Luz’s back reached up to grip her shoulder - Amity’s fingers digging in, sharp enough that it almost hurt. It was as though she was trying to prove that Luz was really there - that all of this was real. 

Luz continued to stroke her hair soothingly, hating that she’d been the cause of the hurt she still saw traces of in Amity’s face.

“Thank you,” Amity said eventually. “I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have told you I liked someone else. I was upset, but I never meant to hurt you, and I’m so sorry that I did.”

Luz felt her chest constrict painfully at the memory. She’d been a wreck that night.

“Still, it wasn’t a total lie,” Amity continued, with a small smile. “I _did_ have a crush on an amazing girl.”

“Did?” Luz asked, only half teasing. “You don’t anymore?”

Amity shook her head. “No, now I have an amazing _girlfriend,_ ” she clarified, and then she closed the distance between them.

This kiss was different from the first, and even the second. Softer, slower - lazy, almost. Like they had all the time in the world, so why rush?

Luz thought it was the sweetest one yet.

Her hand gently cradled the back of Amity’s head, and the grip on her shoulder loosened as Amity relaxed into the kiss. Absently, Luz thought that if she were to die right now, this would be a good way to go.

Eventually, Amity pulled away, and the dazed smile she wore mirrored the one on Luz’s own face. “We should probably actually go to sleep now,” Amity said regretfully.

“Probably,” Luz agreed, propping herself up on an elbow and reaching across Amity to switch off the light. 

With the room in darkness, she could no longer see Amity’s face, but she could feel her, and hear her breathing. The sound was incredibly comforting.

“So… how do you want to sleep?” Amity asked, after a few moments of silence.

Luz didn’t hesitate. “Can I spoon you?” she asked.

"Okay," Amity said, rolling over so that her back was to Luz. 

Luz wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her close. She couldn’t help the contented sigh that escaped her at the way their bodies fit together - Amity’s shorter frame slotting into place perfectly against her own.

“Goodnight, Amity,” Luz said dreamily. Then, because she could, she added, “I love you.”

Amity placed one of her hands on top of Luz’s, squeezing gently. “G’night, Luz,” she murmured sleepily. “I love you too.”

Luz didn’t think she’d ever get tired of hearing that.

She closed her eyes, reveling in the warmth of Amity’s body snuggled up against hers. The soft strands of her hair tickled Luz’s face, but she didn’t mind. She felt as if she held the entire world in her arms.

_Her_ entire world, anyway.

Exhausted but utterly, utterly content, it wasn’t long before Luz drifted off into a peaceful, dreamless sleep.

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, big thank you to my beta reader, RainbowBuddy :)
> 
> Be sure to check out this amazing fan art of the beach scene from chapter 14 by @chaosbicycle: https://chaosbicycle.tumblr.com/post/644669833051521024/justamitythings-the-new-chapter-of-to-dance-is
> 
> See you next week!

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Comments and kudos are always appreciated :)


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